I’ve noticed something interesting over the years. The people who really enjoy their 60s and 70s don’t necessarily have more money, better health, or easier lives. They just carry less mental baggage.
Seriously. They walk lighter.
Psychology backs this up too. Thriving later in life often comes down to what people stop holding onto, not what they add. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem calmer, happier, and more grounded as they age, this list explains a lot. Let’s talk about the nine things psychology says people who thrive later in life usually let go of—and why it changes everything.
1) The need to hold onto grudges
People who thrive in their 60s and 70s don’t waste emotional energy replaying old hurts. They understand something powerful: holding grudges hurts the holder far more than the target.
Grudges keep your nervous system stuck in the past. Your body reacts as if the offense just happened, even when decades pass. Over time, that stress quietly chips away at your peace.
I’ve watched older relatives finally drop long-standing resentments, and the shift always amazes me. Their posture softens. Their conversations lighten. Their laughter comes easier. They don’t suddenly forget what happened—they just stop letting it run their lives.
Psychology connects forgiveness with lower stress, better sleep, and improved emotional health. That matters more with age because your system no longer rebounds like it did at 30.
Letting go doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. It means choosing yourself over bitterness.
People who thrive often remind themselves:
- “I don’t need to carry this anymore.”
- “Peace matters more than being right.”
- “My energy feels too valuable for resentment.”
That mindset frees up mental space for joy, connection, and curiosity. And honestly, that tradeoff always feels worth it.
2) The obsession with a large social circle
Thriving adults stop chasing numbers and start choosing depth. They no longer care about having a packed contact list or being invited everywhere.
Psychology shows that emotional closeness matters far more than social quantity, especially as we age. A few meaningful relationships provide more happiness than dozens of shallow ones.
I’ve heard this from so many older adults: “I used to know everyone. Now I just know who matters.” And they say it with zero regret.
Maintaining large social circles takes energy—planning, people-pleasing, emotional labor. Thrivers conserve that energy for people who actually show up.
They focus on:
- A trusted friend who listens
- A partner who understands them
- Family members who feel safe
That shift reduces social stress and increases emotional security. It also removes the pressure to perform or impress.
IMO, this is one of the most underrated upgrades of aging. Less noise. More meaning.
3) The habit of comparing yourself to others
Comparison quietly drains happiness at any age, but it becomes especially toxic later in life. Thriving older adults let it go completely.
Psychology explains why. Comparison keeps your brain locked in evaluation mode instead of appreciation mode. Someone else always seems healthier, richer, or more “successful.”
But people who thrive realize something liberating: everyone’s timeline breaks the rules.
They stop asking, “Why didn’t my life turn out like theirs?” and start asking, “What actually works for me now?”
I’ve noticed this shift firsthand. The happiest older people rarely talk about what others achieved. They talk about how they feel when they wake up in the morning.
They measure success differently:
- Do I enjoy my days?
- Do I feel connected?
- Do I sleep peacefully?
Once comparison fades, gratitude shows up naturally. And gratitude always feels lighter than envy.
4) The need for everything to be perfect
Perfectionism exhausts people. Thrivers drop it without hesitation.
Psychology links perfectionism to anxiety, chronic dissatisfaction, and burnout. In later life, those costs feel even heavier.
People who thrive embrace “good enough” as a superpower. They understand that perfection never delivered happiness anyway.
I’ve watched older adults laugh at mistakes they once obsessed over. A messy house no longer feels like a moral failure. An unfinished project no longer defines their worth.
They focus on progress, not polish.
They value enjoyment over approval.
They choose ease over control.
This mindset frees time, energy, and emotional bandwidth. It also makes daily life more enjoyable.
FYI, letting go of perfection doesn’t lower standards—it raises quality of life.
5) The weight of past regrets
Thriving adults stop dragging the past into the present. They don’t deny mistakes, but they refuse to live inside them.
Psychology shows that chronic regret fuels rumination, which increases stress and depression. People who thrive practice self-compassion instead.
They reframe regrets as:
- Lessons learned
- Information gained
- Proof of growth
I’ve heard older adults say things like, “I did the best I could with what I knew then.” That sentence carries immense emotional freedom.
Instead of asking “What if?”, they ask “What now?”
This shift doesn’t erase pain, but it removes shame. And without shame, healing finally happens.
6) The illusion of control
People who thrive let go of the belief that they can—or should—control everything.
Psychology calls this psychological flexibility. The more flexible someone stays, the better they adapt to aging, loss, and uncertainty.
Life gets unpredictable as we age. Health changes. Plans shift. Loved ones pass. Control becomes exhausting.
Thrivers focus on:
- What they can influence
- How they respond
- Where they place attention
They stop fighting reality and start cooperating with it. That mindset reduces anxiety and builds resilience.
Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up. It means choosing calm over constant resistance.
7) Worrying about what others think
This one fades beautifully with age—if you let it.
People who thrive stop outsourcing their self-worth. They don’t chase approval or fear judgment the way they once did.
Psychology links people-pleasing to chronic stress and identity confusion. Older adults who thrive prioritize authenticity instead.
They ask:
- Does this feel right to me?
- Does this align with my values?
They wear what they like. They speak honestly. They rest when they need to.
And guess what? The world doesn’t fall apart.
Letting go of others’ opinions creates enormous freedom. It also strengthens self-respect.
8) The fear of missing out
FOMO loses its grip when people understand something crucial: presence beats participation.
Thriving adults stop chasing every opportunity. They choose intentionally instead.
Psychology shows that selective engagement increases satisfaction. Saying “no” becomes a form of self-care.
They stop thinking:
- “I should be doing more”
- “I might miss something important”
They start thinking:
- “This feels right today”
- “I enjoy where I am”
This shift replaces anxiety with contentment. And contentment ages incredibly well.
9) The belief that aging means decline
This belief quietly shapes everything—and thrivers reject it outright.
Psychology calls this a mindset effect. People who believe aging equals decline experience worse outcomes than those who don’t.
Thriving adults view aging as change, not loss.
They recognize gains like:
- Emotional regulation
- Perspective
- Self-knowledge
- Deeper appreciation for life
I’ve met people in their 70s who feel more alive than they did at 40. Not because life got easier, but because their mindset got wiser.
They don’t chase youth. They invest in vitality.
And that belief changes how they move, think, and live every day.
Conclusion
People who thrive in their 60s and 70s don’t unlock some secret formula. They simply let go of what no longer serves them.
They release grudges, comparison, perfectionism, regret, control, and fear. In return, they gain peace, clarity, and joy.
If there’s one takeaway here, it’s this: aging well starts in the mind.
And the best part? You don’t have to wait decades to start letting go.
