Life has a funny way of showing you what truly matters.
When you’re young, it’s easy to get caught up in whatever society insists is so crucial—only to discover, decades later, how little those things actually mean.
I used to pour my energy into winning every argument, wearing all the right clothes, and chasing a certain image of “success.” Now, in my sixties, I see things differently.
Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing inherently bad about striving for your goals.
But as someone who has taken a lot of walks around the block (some of them with my grandchildren and my trusty dog, Lottie), I can tell you that many things we chase are fleeting.
The real stuff—the things that satisfy your soul—rarely come stamped with society’s seal of approval.
Below are seven of those so-called “important” things that, in my experience, won’t mean nearly as much when you’re older.
1. The need to fit in
When I was younger, I believed belonging to the “in crowd” was essential.
Whether it was impressing the boss at work or keeping up with trends, I wanted to fit right in.
Society often nudges you into thinking that standing out is risky, and blending in is the smart route to success.
But here’s the catch: your authentic self is what makes you special.
Over time, you realize that you lose nothing by simply being who you are. In fact, you gain peace of mind.
I’ve found that the friends who truly matter are the ones who appreciate you—quirks and all.
The older you get, the less patience you have for trying to conform to every whim of popular opinion.
It’s liberating to stop caring so much about what others think and focus on what brings you genuine joy.
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2. Keeping up appearances and status
There was an era in my life when I believed that shiny cars, branded clothes, and a big house were the yardsticks of success.
Society loves these markers—status symbols that scream, “Look at me, I’ve made it!” Yet the older I get, the more I realize how superficial those measures really are.
As noted by Dr. Tim Kasser from Knox College, focusing heavily on materialistic values can be a quick road to dissatisfaction.
And I must agree. I don’t wake up reminiscing about the fancy sedan I once owned.
What I remember fondly are silly adventures with my grandchildren, or heartfelt conversations with old friends.
At the end of the day, you won’t care about whether your watch was top-of-the-line; you’ll care about whether you lived a life that felt real and true to you.
3. Always being “productive”
Society has quite the healthy obsession with hustle culture. The constant rush to be busy and to produce more is practically baked into the modern mindset.
I bought into it for decades—believing that the only way to be worthwhile was to keep moving, keep producing, and never relax.
Eventually, I noticed that all this striving was robbing me of time I could have spent with my family, or simply taking a peaceful walk in the park.
Sure, achieving goals is fantastic, but there’s something to be said for not letting your to-do list become your boss.
After all, you don’t get bonus points in life for how many hours you clocked in at the office.
In fact, according to palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware’s “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying,” this was one of those regrets: “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
Trust me, when you reach your older years, you’ll be grateful for the memories you made, not the deadlines you crushed.
4. Winning every argument
I used to be that person who had to have the last word. I’d get into debates at work, over the dinner table, and pretty much anywhere I could find a good sparring partner.
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Society often frames “winning” as evidence of intelligence and competence.
But having lived through enough disagreements, I can say that obsessing over being right doesn’t bring lasting satisfaction.
Eventually, I noticed that always feeling the need to prove a point was like lugging around a heavy backpack. It was exhausting to treat every disagreement like a battle.
Now, I’d rather focus on understanding someone else’s perspective than claim victory in every conversation.
Letting go of that relentless urge to be “right” feels like a weight off my shoulders, and it frees me up to have more genuine connections with the people in my life.
5. Looking perfect all the time
Another thing society imposes on us is impossible beauty standards.
There’s this unspoken expectation that we should all look like we stepped out of a magazine, and if we don’t, a lot of us beat ourselves up over our flaws.
Even when I was younger, I admit to pouring money into fancy grooming products, and I’d never leave the house without checking the mirror multiple times.
These days, I’m a lot more accepting of what I see in the reflection.
While I try to stay healthy, I’ve realized that nobody else is keeping a tally of how polished I look. And if they are, well then, that says more about them than me, doesn’t it?
My older self is far more grateful for good health than a perfect jawline. Life is too short to spend it chasing beauty ideals that shift with the latest trend.
6. Impressing everyone (especially people you don’t like)
I’m the first to admit I don’t know everything, but I’ve seen enough to know how often we go out of our way to please folks who don’t truly matter to us.
Maybe it’s the coworker who talks down to you or the distant relative who always criticizes you at family gatherings.
It’s as if society convinces us we should earn everyone’s approval, no matter how toxic or unimportant they might be in our lives.
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As you get older, you realize that you don’t have time—literally—to keep pandering to people who only drain you.
Personally, I’d rather use my energy on those who actually care about me, not on winning over critics.
If you spend your life people-pleasing, you end up suppressing your own authenticity.
It’s a tough habit to break, but it’s more than worth it. You eventually see that the world doesn’t end if someone disapproves of you.
7. Following a strict “life timeline”
Last but perhaps most importantly, society often says there’s a “proper” timeline for life events: when to marry, when to buy a house, when to have kids, and when to retire.
We’re sold on the idea that if you’re not hitting these milestones in the “right” order or at the “right” age, you’re behind.
From my vantage point now, I realize life doesn’t follow a script.
People who marry later can be just as happy—if not happier—than those who tied the knot at 25.
Some folks reach their career peak in their twenties; others discover their passions in their fifties (case in point: I started writing seriously after I retired).
The timeline myth can hold you back, making you feel like you’ve failed if you’re not checking all the boxes at the designated time.
The truth is that your life is your own unique journey, and no arbitrary clock can define your worth.
A quick final thought
When I look back, I see how many of my beliefs were shaped by voices telling me what I “should” care about—often without me ever questioning it.
My own lightbulb moment came after taking Rudá Iandê’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass. I went in expecting some basic motivational talk, but instead, the exercises prompted me to really examine the limits I’d unconsciously put on myself.
I realized that so much of what I chased had been society’s script—not mine.
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The beauty of it all is that such in-depth guidance is available for free these days, and it felt oddly empowering to know I didn’t need to break the bank to gain fresh perspectives.
So, I’ll leave you with this thought: Which of these so-called “important” things will you gladly let go of?
There’s no sense in clinging to demands that don’t truly fulfill you. Give yourself permission to rewrite your story now, and believe me, your future self will thank you for it.
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