Before you embark on the journey of putting a narcissist in their place, there is one thing you should keep in mind. It will be the fight of your life.
If you have been allowing a narcissist to manipulate you and dominate you for a long time, it will be a fight to change things, but you will be so glad you did.
Narcissists are wired to be abusive because they lack empathy. They naturally take offense and misunderstand the needs and perspectives of others.
They can be rattled by the tiniest thing.
When they get angry, they may call the other person names, confront them, use slurs against them, use closed-off behavior, or the silent treatment.
They can do it in a very calm and cold way, which is even more disturbing than if they’d rejected you openly.
It’s good for you to realize that the narcissist is not going to change, and you’ll be relieved when you realize you can spend your energy somewhere else.
It will be the fight of your life, but it will be worth it.
Here are ten tactics to put a narcissist in their place.
We recommend you stick around until sign number ten. When you get to number ten, you’ll be surprised you never thought of it.
1. Call Them by Their Name
There is something very personal about calling someone by their name. For a narcissist, it can be chilling. It’s an indication to them that you are not afraid of them.
You can look them in the eye and call them by their name when you speak to them.
Narcissists tend to see people as things rather than individuals.
So when you call them by their names, you are showing them that you are different from that. You have more emotional intelligence than they do. Repeat their name often throughout a conversation—it will throw them off.
2. Remind Them to Stick to the Subject
Don’t let the narcissist change the subject in the middle of the conversation. That’s a common tactic for narcissists. Their goal is to hurt you so that you can’t argue anymore.
They’re hoping that the argument will be so miserable that you will never try to confront them again.
Don’t let them get away with that. Keep bringing it back to the matter at hand—that will stop them in their tracks.
Don’t be like them and engage in a fight with them.
If they attack you, don’t attack them back.
The narcissist will try to push your buttons so that you will lose control, then they make it seem like you are the villain. Keep your cool. Don’t let their intensity affect you.
3. Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Emotions
If you do get emotional, it’s okay. They may accuse you of being oversensitive. Don’t let them push you to the edge. Maintain your composure.
If they are angry with you, let them be angry. They might try to blame their negative emotions on you—don’t let them.
If you take responsibility for their emotions, they will use that to manipulate you and get you to do whatever they want.
If they’re mad, they’ll get over it. It has nothing to do with you.
4. Until They Stop Attacking You, Don’t Talk to Them
Once a narcissist starts to abuse you, they will not stop. It could be verbal abuse, tearing down your character, yelling, or treating you like you have no value. Don’t let them get away with that.
If they talk to you like that, refuse to speak back.
Narcissists like attention—they even like negative attention. If you lash out at them for lashing out at you, the cycle will never end.
They want to have a punching bag. If you allow yourself to be their punching bag by continuing to speak to them when they are attacking you, they will not stop.
You have to put your foot down and stop talking to them when they behave that way.
5. Do Not Deceive Yourself
One thing that empaths do is allow themselves to be deceived about who the narcissist is.
They suspect that the narcissist might be lying, but they give them a pass. They give them excuses because they feel bad for them.
If you suspect a narcissist is lying, investigate it. Find out the truth. Don’t be swayed by sentimentality, which is easy for an empath to do.
Get some clear-cut facts to get some perspective.
Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t wish things could be different.
6. Call Them Out on Their Deception
Narcissists will try to make you feel that you are insane. Correct them about this while maintaining a calm demeanor.
Keep track of all vital information. Write everything down. Share the information with loved ones. Talk to the narcissist while other people are around. Keep all communication transparent and visible.
When they realize that you are uncovering the truth in an effort to expose them, they will try to twist everything in an attempt to find an angle.
When they do that, they will just end up digging a deeper hole for themselves.
Once people realize who they are, they will leave you alone.
The narcissist will try to slander you, but anyone who believes their version isn’t worth having in your life.
You’ll find better, more genuine friends. Then, you can establish a healthy life for yourself.
7. Don’t Be Afraid
The best way to expose a narcissist is not to be afraid of them. The way that a narcissist controls an empath is through fear—that is what gives them power.
When we’re afraid of a narcissist and what they may do, we often go to other people to get help. That usually doesn’t work because most people don’t want to get involved.
Narcissists are pathological liars, and eventually, they hang themselves.
There are contradictions in what they do and say, and people start to notice.
Sometimes, when we ask for help from other people with regard to the narcissist, they refuse to listen and even turn against us.
They can twist everything and make the empath look like the bad guy.
You have to find your inner strength and get rid of your fear.
Surround yourself with good people—you deserve that. Your health will improve, and your life will improve.
If you’re around a narcissist, your life will be full of constant upheaval. People will see the truth about the narcissist eventually.
It’s possible that many of your friends didn’t trust the narcissist in the first place and got a bad vibe from them immediately.
The more you surround yourself with good people and try to find a good place in your life the more the lies about you fall apart.
But you have to not panic, get rid of your fear, and the narcissist will leave you too.
8. Don’t Let Them Be the Center of Your Universe
Narcissists want everything to be about what they want and what they need. Sometimes, you have to remind them that they are not the only person in the world.
Have you ever been to a zoo and noticed the signs that say “Do not feed the animals”? It’s the same with narcissists. Don’t feed their ego.
When you feed their ego, things will just get worse.
Narcissists are really into themselves. When you lavish them with praise, they just get more unstable. They just start to think that they’re much better than you.
It doesn’t encourage them and lift them up, it fuels them so they can abuse you more.
Don’t feed bears, then they won’t be able to assault your self assurance.
9. Don’t Let Yourself Be Pressured
Narcissists will try to rush you and force you into doing things that you don’t want to do to get something they want, don’t let them
Allow yourself time to think about whether or not you want to do something.
You can ignore what they say or walk away, you owe it to yourself to speak up for yourself a d not allow yourself to pushed into doing something you don’t want to do.
Do it in a calm and gentle way, it will be more effective that way. Hopefully, it won’t trigger the narcissist into starting a fight.
Be clear with the narcissist about how their words and actions are including you. They may not understand or care – that’s okay, stick to your guns.
10. Learn How to Say No
A person with a narcissistic personality is frequently consumed by themselves.
They might believe they have the right to go wherever they want, spy on you, go through your personal belongings, and tell you how to feel.
Perhaps they offer you unsolicited advice and claim credit for your accomplishments.
Alternatively, they may put pressure on you to discuss personal matter in a public context.
They may also have a poor sense of personal space, causing them to frequently transgress boundaries. Most of the time, they don’t even notice them.
As a result, you must be really explicit about any boundaries that are vital to you.
It’s easy to forget how simple it us to say no. We may say it, but we lack faith in our ability to follow through when dealing with a narcissist.
Though, learning to say no firmly and confidently can be a game changer
Be clear about what your boundaries are, and don’t let them cross them. It’s simple—say no.
Sometimes, we lack faith in our abilities, so we don’t follow through.
Don’t use ultimatums. If you use ultimatums with a narcissist, they may use ultimatums with you. Instead, set boundaries and say no.
If you are an empath dealing with a narcissist, we hope you feel more at peace now, knowing that there are tactics for putting narcissists in their place.
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