As a child, you were always the ‘mature’ one, weren’t you? Adults would marvel at your wisdom, often exclaiming how you were ‘an old soul’.
Back then, it felt like a badge of honor.
But now, as an adult, it feels more like a burden.
I bet you’ve realized that being prematurely matured has its own set of challenges and struggles.
It’s not all intellectual conversations and impressed adults.
There are drawbacks and complications that only fellow ‘old souls’ can understand.
In this article, we’ll dive into the seven common struggles faced by those who grew up being praised for their maturity.
These are the hidden costs of growing up too fast, the invisible burdens that come with being ‘wise beyond your years’.
If you’re nodding along already, this article is for you:
1) Inability to relate well with peers
Remember how adults used to marvel at your maturity? It felt great, right? But there was a flip side.
You were probably always the odd one out among your peers.
Being ‘mature’ as a child often means you’re better at relating to adults than to other kids.
You understand their language, their jokes, their concerns—but with kids your own age? It’s a different story altogether.
This can lead to a sense of isolation and an inability to connect with people your own age.
You might have felt out of place during school recess or at birthday parties; you enjoyed adult conversations but struggled with the light-hearted banter of your peers.
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As an adult, this can still haunt you.
You might find it difficult to form close bonds with people your own age, or you might feel like you’re constantly wearing a mask, pretending to be someone you’re not just to fit in.
Growing up too quickly can rob you of the carefree joy of childhood friendships and replace it with a sense of being perpetually out of sync with your peers.
2) Struggling with perfectionism
The praise for being “mature” often came with high expectations, didn’t it?
As a kid, I felt like I had to always be the responsible one, the level-headed one, the one who has it all together—and that pressure didn’t just disappear when I grew up.
I remember a clear instance from my childhood when I was helping my little brother with his homework.
He was struggling with a math problem.
Instead of letting him work through it at his own pace, I took over, solving it for him.
Why? Because I felt the need to be perfect—I wanted to show that I could do it without any help.
Fast forward to today, and that situation still rings true.
Whether it’s a work project or a personal goal, I often feel the need to be perfect in everything I do.
If something isn’t perfect, it feels like a failure.
This constant striving for perfection can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even burnout.
It’s a battle many of us who were praised for being mature as children face on a daily basis.
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3) Difficulty expressing emotions
Did you know that children praised for their maturity often struggle to express their emotions as adults?
This is because they’re often expected to manage their emotions like an adult when they’re still just a child.
Growing up, you might have been expected to be calm, composed, and rational, regardless of the situation.
You may have been discouraged from expressing “childish” emotions like tantrums or over-excitement.
As a result, you might’ve learned to suppress your feelings rather than freely expressing them.
This can carry into adulthood, making it hard for you to express your emotions in a healthy way.
You might find yourself struggling with emotional communication in relationships or dealing with feelings of frustration or sadness.
4) Fear of being vulnerable
If you were praised for being mature as a child, chances are, vulnerability might be a struggle for you.
Being seen as the ‘wise one’ often comes with an unspoken rule that you must always appear strong and composed.
This can result in a deeply ingrained fear of showing vulnerability.
You may feel like you always need to have the answers, always need to be in control.
The idea of showing any form of weakness or uncertainty may seem unthinkable.
As an adult, this can lead to problems in personal relationships.
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It’s hard to establish deep connections without vulnerability as it can also create internal stress and anxiety, as you constantly feel the pressure to maintain this image of strength and composure.
Truthfully, it’s okay to show vulnerability, that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
It’s a tough lesson for those of us who were ‘mature’ children, but a crucial one nonetheless.
5) The pressure of being a role model
Being the ‘mature’ child often meant being the role model.
For me, this meant setting an example for my siblings and even for my peers.
The praise and the expectations felt good, but they also came with a lot of pressure.
I remember a time when my younger sister made a mistake, and instead of comforting her, I lectured her about responsibility.
That moment made me realize how much pressure I was under to maintain the image of the ‘mature’ one, and how it was affecting the way I treated those around me.
As an adult, this pressure hasn’t gone away.
Whether it’s in professional settings or personal relationships, I often feel the need to set an example, to always make the right decisions—a constant balancing act between living up to these expectations and allowing myself to be human, to make mistakes.
6) Overthinking and worry
If you were constantly praised for being ‘mature’ as a child, you might be familiar with the tendency to overthink things.
With maturity often comes an understanding of consequences, which can lead to a constant analysis of every decision.
You may find yourself worrying excessively about outcomes, always planning for the worst-case scenario.
This might have been useful as a child when you were navigating complex situations beyond your years, but as an adult, it can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
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It’s important to understand that while being cautious and considerate is good, overthinking every detail can rob you of the joy of spontaneity and the ability to live in the moment.
7) Difficulty accepting help
One of the biggest challenges for those of us who were praised for being ‘mature’ as children is accepting help from others.
Our early maturity often required us to be self-reliant, to figure things out on our own.
As adults, this can translate into a reluctance to ask for or accept help when we need it.
We may fear that asking for help will make us seem weak or less capable; we might believe that we should be able to handle everything on our own.
But it’s crucial to understand that everyone needs help sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for it.
Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and wisdom.
It’s a lesson that many ‘mature’ children need to learn, and it’s perhaps the most important one of all.
Final reflection: Embrace your journey
The tapestry of our lives is woven from the threads of our experiences, and being praised for maturity as a child is a significant thread in that weave.
These struggles we’ve discussed—from feeling out of sync with peers to dealing with pressure and perfectionism—they are part and parcel of this journey.
Acknowledging them is about understanding the impact and navigating your path forward.
Remember that maturity is not a burden, but a strength; it allowed you to navigate complex situations, to understand deeper concepts, and to connect profoundly with adults at a young age.
Yes, it came with its challenges, but everyone has their struggles, their baggage—and it’s these very challenges which shape us, mold us into the individuals we become.
Take a moment to reflect on these struggles, but also take a moment to celebrate your journey.
You’re strong, you’re wise, and above all else, you’re you.
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