9 Signs You’re Dealing With a Genuinely Good Person (Not Just Someone Who Appears Nice)

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The world is full of people who are nice… until they’re not. It’s a sad truth, but not everyone who appears friendly is genuinely good.

Real goodness, however, leaves traces. There are subtle signs that separate the genuinely good from those who merely play the part.

In this piece, I’m going to share with you 9 signs that the person you’re dealing with isn’t just putting on a show of niceness – they’re truly good at heart. Because recognizing these signs can make all the difference.

1) Consistent kindness

Genuinely good people are consistently kind. Not just when it’s convenient or when they’re in a good mood. Their kindness is not reserved for certain people or on special occasions.

I’m talking about the kind of kindness that’s ingrained in their character. The kindness that drives them to help an elderly person struggling with heavy bags, or to lend a listening ear to a friend who’s had a rough day.

You see, the difference between someone who merely appears nice and someone who is genuinely good is consistency.

A person can put on a show of niceness when they want to create a certain impression or get something they want. But it’s not sustainable. In time, their true colors will show.

On the other hand, a genuinely good person doesn’t switch off their kindness. It’s not an act, it’s who they are.

If you’re dealing with someone who consistently shows kindness – even when they have nothing to gain – chances are you’re dealing with a genuinely good person.

2) They own up to their mistakes

Genuinely good people aren’t perfect. They make mistakes just like the rest of us.

What sets them apart, though, is their willingness to admit to those mistakes and take responsibility for their actions.

Let me share a personal example. A few years ago, I had a friend who accidentally damaged an expensive piece of equipment at work. Instead of trying to hide the damage or blame someone else, she immediately owned up to her mistake. She approached our boss, explained what happened and offered to cover the cost of repair from her own pocket.

That level of honesty and integrity left a profound impression on me. It’s not easy to admit when you’ve messed up, especially when there are serious consequences involved. But my friend’s actions showed me that she was a genuinely good person.

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If you know someone who is always willing to own up to their mistakes and face the consequences, that’s a telltale sign of a genuinely good person.

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3) They’re empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental aspect of human interaction and a trait that genuinely good people possess in abundance.

It’s interesting to note that neuroscientists have discovered that humans are wired to feel empathy through what they call “mirror neurons.” When we see someone else experiencing an emotion, these neurons fire in a way that helps us feel what they’re feeling.

Genuinely good people, it seems, have particularly active mirror neurons. They can sense when someone is upset or struggling, even if that person tries to hide it. And more than that, they feel driven to offer comfort and support.

If you encounter someone who consistently shows empathy – who is sensitive to the emotions of those around them and responds with understanding and compassion – it’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with a genuinely good person.

4) They let go of their ego

In Buddhism, the ego is seen as the root of suffering. It is the ego that constantly seeks validation, that gets offended, that insists on being right.

Genuinely good people have learned to let go of their ego. They don’t need to be the center of attention or to always have the last word. They’re comfortable with who they are and don’t feel the need to constantly prove themselves.

If you encounter someone who doesn’t let their ego dictate their actions, who listens more than they speak, who is open to different viewpoints and willing to admit when they’re wrong, you’re likely dealing with a genuinely good person. Their ability to let go of their ego is a testament to their character.

5) They’re forgiving

Holding on to resentment and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It’s damaging and unproductive.

Genuinely good people understand this. They’re able to forgive others, not because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.

I remember a time in my life when I was deeply hurt by a close friend. The pain was intense and for a while, I couldn’t see past the betrayal.

But as time went on, I realized that holding onto that anger wasn’t serving me. It was only causing more pain. So, I made the conscious decision to forgive my friend. Not for their sake, but for my own.

It wasn’t easy, but it brought a sense of peace and closure that I wouldn’t have achieved otherwise.

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If you come across someone who is able to forgive and move on from past hurts, that’s a strong sign of a genuinely good person.

6) They’re not always positive

It might sound counter-intuitive, but genuinely good people aren’t always positive.

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Why? Because they understand that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. They allow themselves to feel their emotions, even the negative ones, rather than suppressing them or putting on a fake smile.

They don’t shy away from difficult conversations or uncomfortable situations. Instead, they face them head-on with honesty and courage.

This doesn’t mean they’re pessimistic or negative. Quite the opposite. Their willingness to confront the less pleasant aspects of life with grace and resilience often makes them incredibly positive individuals.

If you know someone who isn’t afraid to show their vulnerabilities, who accepts that life has ups and downs, that’s a powerful sign of a genuinely good person.

7) They’re appreciative

Appreciation is a trait you’ll often find in genuinely good people. They recognize and value the efforts and contributions of others, and they’re not shy about expressing their gratitude.

Whether it’s a thank you note to a colleague who helped them with a project, a compliment to a friend who looks nice, or just acknowledging the hard work of the barista who makes their morning coffee, they understand the power of appreciation.

Genuinely good people know that a little gratitude goes a long way in making others feel valued and respected.

8) They respect boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. Genuinely good people understand this and make it a point to respect the boundaries of others.

Whether it’s giving you space when you need it, not pushing you to share something you’re uncomfortable with, or simply understanding that ‘no’ means ‘no’, they show respect for your personal boundaries.

I’ve been fortunate to have people in my life who respect my boundaries. They understand that there are times when I need solitude to recharge, or moments when I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself. Their respect for my boundaries has made our relationships stronger and more meaningful.

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If you’re dealing with someone who respects your boundaries and values your personal space, you’re likely dealing with a genuinely good person.

9) They strive for personal growth

At the heart of genuine goodness is the desire for personal growth.

Genuinely good people are not content with stagnation. They push themselves to become better, to learn more, to grow.

They’re introspective, always seeking to understand themselves better. They consistently strive to improve, not out of a sense of inadequacy, but because they recognize that there is always room for growth.

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Personal growth is not about being better than others. It’s about being better than the person you were yesterday.

If you encounter someone who embodies this mindset, someone who is always striving to grow and improve, you’re likely dealing with a genuinely good person.

Final thoughts: Goodness is a journey

Recognizing genuine goodness in people is not always straightforward. It requires us to look beyond surface-level niceties to the deeper, consistent traits that define a person’s character.

Genuine goodness is not about perfection. It’s about striving to be better, showing kindness consistently, respecting boundaries, and being comfortable with vulnerability.

But remember, everyone is on a journey. People grow and change. The person who seems merely nice today may be on the path towards genuine goodness tomorrow.

So keep an open mind, be patient, and most importantly, strive to be a genuinely good person yourself. After all, the best way to recognize goodness in others is to cultivate it within ourselves.

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