We’ve all encountered people who have grand plans and lofty declarations, yet when you circle back, nothing’s actually been done. It can be frustrating—especially if you’re the one stuck listening and wondering when (if ever) the action part will take place.
But here’s a little secret: Even the biggest procrastinators or talkers believe, at some level, that they will do what they said they would. The problem is that specific habits get in the way.
After years of working as a relationship counselor—and chatting with countless folks who felt “stuck”—I’ve noticed these reoccurring patterns behind the endless talk with zero follow-through.
Ready to discover what’s really going on under the surface? Let’s dive into the eight common habits people who are all talk and no action typically display, according to psychology.
1. Overpromising but underdelivering
Have you ever heard a friend insist they’ll start a new business, sign up for a marathon, or write a book “next month”…yet when you check in, you realize it’s been more talk than hustle?
Overpromising but underdelivering is a classic pattern. People who do this often get an emotional high just from making the promise—almost like they’ve already accomplished the task in their imagination.
As soon as they share it out loud, they receive praise, attention, or excitement from others. This external reaction can be gratifying enough that they don’t feel the urgency to follow through.
Psychologically speaking, it’s a phenomenon tied to what Daniel Goleman calls our “emotional circuitry.” We feel good about planning or talking about a goal because the brain rewards us for positive intentions. The trouble is, once the warm glow of the promise fades, there isn’t enough internal drive to move from talk to concrete action.
I’ve worked with clients who would declare major plans for self-improvement—a vow to exercise daily, a pledge to cut out harmful behaviors—only to fall off track within days. When I’d ask them why, they’d often say they felt deflated after the initial excitement wore off.
The key, of course, is to anchor that initial excitement to tangible steps and deadlines, so the intention transforms into a realistic plan.
2. Always waiting for “the perfect moment”
Do you ever catch yourself saying, “I’ll start tomorrow when I feel more motivated,” or “I’ll do it when work slows down”? This is the hallmark of what I like to call the “perfect moment trap.”
It’s the belief that action is only possible when conditions align just so—an extended weekend, the ideal collaboration, or when finances magically improve. The underlying psychology is tied to perfectionism and fear of failure.
People think, “If I don’t start now, I can’t fail yet.” So, they keep waiting, hesitating, hoping that tomorrow is the day they magically wake up to the exact conditions they want.
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But waiting for the perfect moment typically means no moment is ever good enough. As Sheryl Sandberg once said, “Done is better than perfect.” The reality? There’s never a truly perfect time.
Progress thrives on imperfect steps taken consistently, even if you’re tired or busy. I’ve seen some of the most successful transformations start with micro-steps on a random Tuesday afternoon—no special stars in alignment necessary.
3. Thriving on external validation
Some people talk endlessly about their goals, not because they’re about to take action, but because they crave the buzz of recognition. They might say things like, “I’m going to open my own café one day!” or “I have this big idea that’s going to change everything!”
And if you respond with, “Wow, that sounds incredible,” they beam in pride—but that pride doesn’t push them forward; it just keeps them floating in daydream land. They become hooked on the validation rather than the process of execution.
Social media can add fuel to this fire. “Likes” and comments can trick the brain into feeling accomplished without tangible results.
A 2019 study from Ohio State University found that individuals who frequently post about their intentions publicly are less likely to follow through, often because they’ve already been rewarded through online praise.
The solution? Keep some goals private until you’ve taken actual steps—like researching the business idea or talking to a mentor. That way, you stay motivated by personal conviction rather than fleeting applause.
4. Avoiding accountability
Look, I get it—asking for real accountability can be intimidating. Once you’ve asked someone to check in with you or set up progress milestones, there’s nowhere to hide. But for many individuals who are “all talk,” avoidance of accountability is precisely why they never act.
They might say, “I don’t want a mentor or a coach because I know what I need to do,” or “I’m the only one who can really motivate me.” It might sound confident, but often it’s a subtle way of sidestepping the potential embarrassment that comes with someone seeing they haven’t actually been doing the work.
I’ve noticed that clients who willingly enlist accountability—through trusted friends, colleagues, or even professional counselors—tend to cross the finish line more often. Accountability acts like a mirror: it shows you exactly what you are (or aren’t) doing.
If you find yourself resisting it, ask why. Could it be that you don’t want someone to witness the gap between your words and your actions?
5. Constantly making excuses
You might have read my post on excuses in the past, but let me just emphasize: Even the best of us can be quick with a good excuse. And people who never quite do what they claim they’ll do? They usually have a running list of reasons.
My schedule’s too tight. The economy is rough. I’ve got too many personal issues right now.
Yes, these factors can be real obstacles. I’m not denying that life can get hard. But the psychology behind excuse-making often boils down to self-protection.
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By blaming external circumstances, people avoid the uncomfortable truth that they might be the ones standing in their own way. It’s a defense mechanism: if it’s never your fault, you never have to hold yourself accountable.
The truth is, while external factors can slow you down, they rarely halt progress entirely. I’ve worked with clients who—despite financial troubles and demanding jobs—still managed to carve out small windows to make their goals happen.
The difference? They recognized excuses for what they were and refused to let those justifications win every time.
6. Procrastinating in the name of planning
I’ve been guilty of this one more times than I’d like to admit. Have you ever felt like you need to plan every single detail before you take even the smallest action? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of mindful planning—I’m a relationship counselor, after all, and part of my job is helping people strategize their next moves.
But there’s a point where planning becomes procrastination. You might keep refining and tweaking, waiting for the plan to look “flawless,” when in reality, it’s just your way of stalling.
This often stems from fear of failure—or even fear of success. If you never move beyond the planning stage, you never risk messing up.
A quote I love from Michelle Obama fits well here: “You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.” Sometimes, you need to jump in, accept that mistakes are part of the journey, and learn as you go.
7. Suffering from “shiny object syndrome”
Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list. Anyway, “shiny object syndrome” is when someone perpetually gets distracted by the next big idea, trend, or opportunity—and abandons their current goals in the process.
They’ll say, “I’m going to launch a podcast!” Then a week later, they’re fascinated by cryptocurrency. Another week, they’re busy designing an e-commerce store. Every new option seems more exciting than the last.
While curiosity can be a strength, “shiny object syndrome” leaves people scattered. According to psychology research on goal-setting, focusing on a single objective at a time drastically increases the chances of success.
When you chase too many directions, you end up nowhere. When you feel pulled by something new, ask yourself: “Is this really in line with my core passion, or is it just a novel distraction?”
8. Letting fear overshadow ambition
At the end of the day, fear is often the root cause behind people being all talk and no action. Whether it’s fear of rejection, fear of looking foolish, or fear of stepping outside the comfort zone, the anxiety can be paralyzing. So they do what’s safe: keep talking about their dreams instead of actively pursuing them.
I see this a lot in my practice. A client will discuss their desire to change careers, move to a new city, or finally leave an unhealthy relationship. But the “what if” scenarios fill them with dread. And so they talk and plan, but remain stuck.
Here, we often remind our readers that the biggest leaps in life feel scary at first. As Tony Robbins once said, “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” The key word here is action.
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If you find yourself constantly vocalizing a goal but never taking the first step, it might be time to face the fear head-on. Make a list of possible outcomes, identify which ones are rational and which are just anxiety.
Then decide to do something small toward your goal—even if it’s as simple as sending an email or scheduling a consultation.
Final thoughts
People who talk but never act aren’t lazy or incompetent—they’re usually just wrestling with deeper psychological barriers that keep them rooted in place. Recognizing the habits you or others might be displaying is the first step to breaking free of the cycle.
If you see yourself in any of these habits, give yourself grace. Self-awareness can be jarring initially, but it’s also incredibly empowering. Most of these patterns can be tackled with structured goals, support systems, and a willingness to move through discomfort.
I always encourage my clients to take baby steps instead of giant leaps. If you want to learn more about how to change your relationship with unhealthy patterns, you can check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
It’s focused on codependency, but the core message applies to many different life areas: you’re not stuck with your current habits. You have the power to unlearn them.
Remember, talk can be beautiful—it can spark ideas, lead to new connections, and keep us hopeful. But action is what makes dreams real. And when those two forces align, that’s when the true transformation begins.
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