Do you sometimes get scared that you’re not being a good partner to your significant other, or if you’re not in a relationship?
Maybe you don’t want to start one out of fear that you won’t be enough for them.
Even though relationships can be a beautiful union between two loving people. It’s not easy; it takes effort to create a bond with another person that will last through all the obstacles life puts in front of you.
Being aware of your behavior could be the first step towards keeping your mind and relationship healthy.
Here are some common behaviors that kill relationships.
1. Angrily reacting to criticism
Sometimes we feel the need to criticize the people we spend time with.
That critique doesn’t need to be anything serious, but the fact is we don’t like everything about people 100% of the time.
So, chances are your partner will sometimes criticize you too.
The way you handle that criticism is a key to a healthy relationship.
Do you get offended and give them the silent treatment? Do you turn it around against them? Do you get angry and yell at them?
All of these behaviors could damage your relationship in the long run.
It would send a message to your partner that you’re not open for communication and accepting your own mistakes. Instead, try to think about what your partner said and why.
Take it as something that your partner finds important and try to find a solution together.
2. Disrespecting your partner’s privacy
Even if you’re a couple, you’re still an individual.
As an individual, you want to have your own private space for things you enjoy as a person; your partner deserves that space too.
Problems can arise if you overstep their boundaries; this could mean going through their phone, demanding to see their messages or call logs, not allowing them to see friends or family, and demanding you go out with them every time, everywhere.
This could make your partner feel suffocated and lose a sense of individuality; they could feel like you’re controlling them and become unhappy in a relationship.
If you feel this behavior is common for you, it’s likely there are some complex emotions underneath those actions, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and attachment issues.
Working out these problems in therapy could help you and your relationship.
3. Bringing yourself down
Even if you have a loving partner by your side, sometimes you may get overwhelmed with feelings of insecurity.
It happens to many of us, and it is totally okay to have those days every once in a while, but if you’re constantly feeling insecure and bringing yourself down in front of your partner, you could unintentionally push them away.
They might be annoyed or frustrated that they can’t help you with your self-image insecurity, which could lead to other behaviors like jealousy, overanalyzing your partner’s words, and needing constant reassurance.
This could drain the energy from both of you and damage the relationship.
4. Giving ultimatums
Sometimes giving an ultimatum is the only option you’re left with to get the desired outcome or change someone’s bad behavior.
For example, if their behavior is putting you in a dangerous situation, but for non-harmful, mundane situations, opt for a conversation rather than an ultimatum.
When you give an ultimatum, you’re trying to manipulate a person into doing what you want.
You may say something like, If you go out with that friend I don’t like, I’ll break up with you.
With this, you’re putting them in a position where they’re forced into a corner and have to choose between two people they love.
Since they are pressured into doing something they don’t want to do, your partner could start feeling resentment towards you; it could affect their self-esteem and destroy the trust you’ve built over time and consequently hurt your relationship.
5. Giving the silent treatment
Have you ever had an argument with your partner where you needed space afterwards? It’s okay to spend time alone to clear your head until you’re ready to talk it out.
The silent treatment is different from this.
While giving the silent treatment, you’re refusing to talk about a problem, ignoring your partner, and avoiding open communication.
Giving them the silent treatment instead of expressing your worries may act as a way for you to avoid taking responsibility if you know you’re in the wrong, and it could also help you escape acknowledging or changing your behavior.
A partner who is on the receiving end of the silent treatment may feel confused, ignored, hurt, angry, unloved, or unimportant.
They’re left with no way to explain themselves, offer an apology, or find a compromise.
In the long run, this could make their feelings for you disappear and bring your relationship to the end.
Did you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself? If so, it’s okay as long as you’re open to hearing it, acknowledging it, and changing it.
Nobody is perfect, and nobody can expect you to be perfect.
The beauty of being in a relationship after all is to be able to grow and change for the better next to one another, and while you both work on yourselves, your bond will grow stronger than ever.
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