There’s a fine line between self-confidence and narcissism. The difference? Empathy.
Narcissists, by definition, lack the ability to truly understand the feelings of others. This can lead to a plethora of damaging behaviors which, over time, can drive friends away.
Psychologists have identified certain patterns that are common among narcissists. By being aware of these behaviors, you can better navigate your relationships and avoid the pitfalls that come with dealing with a narcissistic friend.
Here are seven typical behaviors of narcissists that can lead to the eventual breakdown of friendships, as per psychology.
1) Lack of empathy
It’s a universal truth – empathy is the glue that holds relationships together. But, according to psychologists, narcissists often lack this essential trait.
The absence of empathy in a friendship can create a lot of tension. Friends may feel unheard, unappreciated, and ultimately unloved. This disconnect can lead to a gradual erosion of the bond that once held them together.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”
But when dealing with a narcissist, this type of understanding and validation is often absent. Instead of feeling heard and seen, friends of narcissists often feel dismissed and overlooked.
This lack of empathy is a key behavior that can cause friends to eventually turn away from narcissists.
2) Constant need for admiration
I remember befriending someone who was quite charismatic and seemed to be the life of the party. However, as our friendship progressed, I began to notice a recurring pattern.
This friend would always steer the conversation towards himself, craving constant admiration and validation. It was as if his self-worth was entirely dependent on the praise and approval of others.
Renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What a man can be, he must be.” But in the case of my friend, it felt more like “What a man can be praised for, he must seek.”
The constant need for admiration is another common trait among narcissists. It can become exhausting for friends who feel like they are being used as a source of constant ego-boosting rather than being valued for their companionship.
Ultimately, this behavior may lead friends to distance themselves from the narcissist.
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3) Exploitative behavior
Have you ever felt used by a friend?
There’s a raw honesty in admitting to ourselves when a friendship becomes one-sided, especially when it involves exploitation.
Narcissists are notorious for using their friends to meet their own needs, without regard for the feelings or well-being of the other person.
Narcissists whom often put their needs first, even at the expense of others.
This exploitative behavior can leave friends feeling drained and unappreciated. Over time, this can lead to the dissolution of the friendship as self-preservation takes precedence.
4) Inability to handle criticism
Narcissists often have a hard time dealing with criticism. Even the most constructive feedback can be seen as a direct attack on their self-image.
A study published in the American Psychological Association found that narcissists tend to react aggressively to criticism.
They perceive it as a threat to their inflated self-perceptions, leading to defensive behaviors that can strain relationships.
Friends who feel they cannot voice their concerns or express their feelings without triggering an aggressive response may eventually choose to distance themselves to avoid conflict.
This inability to handle criticism is another behavior that drives friends away from narcissists.
5) Excessive competitiveness
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of friendly competition, but with narcissists, it can quickly escalate to unhealthy levels.
A personal experience comes to mind. I once had a friend who turned everything into a competition. Whether it was our career achievements or our personal lives, she always wanted to be one step ahead.
This constant one-upmanship made our friendship feel more like a rivalry than a supportive bond.
As Sigmund Freud stated, “I have found little that is ‘good’ about human beings on the whole. In my experience, most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all.”
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This quote resonates when dealing with narcissists who often see others not as equals but as competitors.
This excessive competitiveness is another common trait of narcissists that can wear down friendships over time.
6) False humility
Contrary to what you might expect, not all narcissists are boastful and brash. Some hide their self-obsession behind a guise of false humility.
These individuals often downplay their achievements, but in a way that subtly draws attention to them. It’s a manipulative tactic designed to fish for compliments and affirmation.
This can be seen in the confusing behavior of narcissists who oscillate between overt self-praise and false humility.
This kind of behavior can be confusing and frustrating for friends. Over time, it can lead to disillusionment and a breakdown of the friendship.
7) Unreliability
Narcissists are often unreliable.
Their self-centered nature can lead them to break promises and let down their friends.
But narcissists often fail to understand this interdependence, creating a pattern of disappointment and unreliability.
This frequent letdown can erode the trust in a friendship, leading friends to eventually pull away.
Parting thoughts
Navigating the complexities of human relationships can often feel like traversing a labyrinth.
Especially when dealing with narcissists, it can feel like a never-ending cycle of highs and lows.
Understanding these seven behaviors not only provides insight into the minds of narcissists but also allows us to reflect on our own actions and relationships.
It’s a reminder that empathy, respect, and reliability form the bedrock of any healthy friendship.
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As we step back and reflect, it becomes clear that it’s not just about identifying these behaviors in others but also about ensuring we don’t mirror them ourselves.
After all, the key to fostering strong, meaningful friendships lies in mutual understanding and respect.
And perhaps, in understanding these behaviors, we can better navigate our relationship labyrinths, fostering bonds that are not just enduring but also enriching.
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