Emotionally intelligent folks have a unique way of navigating challenging situations.
Take gaslighting, for instance.
This manipulative tactic can leave anyone feeling disoriented and questioning their reality.
But those with high emotional intelligence? They handle it differently.
They employ certain strategies, grounded in psychological principles, to cope with and counteract gaslighting.
These tips aren’t just for dealing with manipulation, they can also help you maintain your sanity in a world full of mixed messages and conflicting information.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
1) Emotionally intelligent people validate their feelings
When it comes to gaslighting, emotionally intelligent individuals have a knack for staying true to their feelings.
Gaslighting can make you question your perception of reality.
It’s a psychological manipulation tactic that can leave you doubting your own feelings, thoughts, and experiences.
But here’s the thing about emotionally intelligent people. They don’t let the doubts creep in as easily.
They validate their feelings, even when someone tries to distort their reality.
They understand that their feelings are real and valid.
They don’t allow themselves to be swayed by others’ attempts to belittle or undermine them.
In the words of renowned psychologist Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
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This self-acceptance, this validation of one’s own feelings and experiences, is what emotionally intelligent individuals practice when faced with gaslighting.
It’s not about being stubborn; it’s about trusting oneself and maintaining mental balance amidst manipulation.
The next time someone tries to gaslight you, remind yourself of your worth and validate your feelings.
2) They don’t shy away from confrontation
Emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid of confrontation when they’re being gaslit.
I remember a time when a close friend tried to convince me that a conversation we had never happened.
It was an important conversation, one that had a significant impact on me. I knew it happened, but they were adamant it didn’t.
I could have let it slide, doubted my memory, or even accepted their version of the story. But I didn’t. I stood up for myself.
I confronted them about it, stating clearly that I remember the conversation vividly and wouldn’t be made to feel like I was imagining things.
As psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”
This resilience and self-efficacy are what emotionally intelligent people tap into during these confrontations.
Confrontation isn’t about aggression or an argument.
It’s about standing up for your reality and not letting others dictate your experiences.
3) They distance themselves from the gaslighter
Ever had someone in your life who constantly made you question your sanity?
I have. It was a colleague at work who always twisted facts and turned them around, making me doubt my own memory and perception.
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The more I interacted with them, the more confused and unsure I became.
Then, influenced by the wisdom of psychologist Sigmund Freud who said, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength,” I took a step back.
I realized that my vulnerability was being in constant contact with this person, and my strength lay in creating some distance.
So I did just that. I limited our interactions, only engaging when absolutely necessary for work. The effect was immediate.
The fog in my mind started clearing, and I regained my confidence.
Creating distance isn’t always easy, especially when the gaslighter is close to you or a part of your daily life.
But it’s necessary for self-preservation.
It’s okay to prioritize your mental health over a relationship that leaves you constantly questioning yourself.
4) They stay connected with their support network
Emotionally intelligent people understand the power of a strong support network, especially when they’re being gaslit.
Strong social network can significantly buffer against psychological stress.
Having close friends and family to rely on are less likely to succumb to the effects of stress compared to those with fewer social ties.
When you’re being gaslit, it’s easy to feel isolated and alone.
But emotionally intelligent people reach out to their network of friends or family.
They share their experiences, seek advice, or simply look for reassurance and validation.
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They understand that staying connected with supportive people can provide them with an external perspective and help them hold onto their reality.
This connection can be a lifeline in a sea of confusion and self-doubt caused by gaslighting.
Remember to lean on your support system when you feel like you’re being gaslit.
They can provide the reassurance you need to trust your own experiences and perceptions.
5) They practice self-care
Self-care is a fundamental tool in the arsenal of emotionally intelligent people, especially when dealing with gaslighting.
I’ve learned this the hard way.
There was a time when I was so caught up in proving my sanity to someone gaslighting me that I forgot to take care of myself.
My health suffered, both mentally and physically.
Then, I stumbled upon a quote by the influential psychologist Abraham Maslow: “It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”
This quote reminded me that it’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s essential to take care of myself while searching for them.
Emotionally intelligent people practice self-care.
They understand that they need to be in their best physical and mental health to counteract gaslighting effectively.
This can be as simple as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, or doing activities they love.
In the face of gaslighting, remember to prioritize your wellbeing.
Take time out for yourself, do things you enjoy, and ensure you’re in the best possible shape to handle the situation.
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6) They question their reality
Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but emotionally intelligent people do question their reality when they’re being gaslit.
Sounds odd, right? But hear me out.
They don’t question their reality because they believe they could be wrong, but rather to reaffirm their belief in their own experiences and perceptions.
Psychologist William James once said, “Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”
This quote rings true for emotionally intelligent individuals.
By questioning and subsequently reaffirming their reality, they’re strengthening their belief in their experiences.
They analyze the situation objectively, consider the facts, and trust their intuition.
They don’t allow the gaslighter’s version of reality to overwrite their own.
Instead, they use the questioning as a tool to solidify their understanding of their experiences.
When faced with gaslighting, don’t be afraid to question your reality.
It can be a powerful tool to affirm your beliefs and stand up to manipulation.
7) They seek professional help
When dealing with gaslighting, emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid to seek professional help.
As psychologist Carl Jung aptly said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Realizing when you need external assistance is a sign of strength and self-awareness.
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Whether it’s counseling or therapy, professional help can provide the tools and strategies needed to handle gaslighting effectively.
It’s about looking inside, awakening to your needs, and taking the right steps towards healing.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to face gaslighting alone.
Final thoughts
Gaslighting can be a complex, confusing experience, leaving us doubting our reality and questioning our sanity.
Yet, as we’ve seen, emotionally intelligent individuals navigate this manipulation differently.
They validate their feelings, confront the gaslighter, create distance, lean on their support network, prioritize self-care, question their reality, and aren’t shy about seeking professional help.
But remember, these strategies don’t come naturally to everyone. It takes time, patience, and practice. And that’s okay.
At the end of the day, it’s about standing up for your reality and not letting anyone else dictate it for you.
Take a moment to reflect on these strategies. Which ones resonate with you? Which ones could you start implementing today?
No one should ever make you question your sanity or your experiences.
Trust in yourself, even when it feels like the world is trying to make you believe otherwise. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
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