So what do you like in a person? Many of us would initially respond with things like someone tall or I like green eyes.
Well, what about those times you look at people you’ve liked in the past and thought to yourself, But they don’t all look alike, or you’ve encountered someone who seems to be your ideal in every single way on paper, but you meet them and wonder, Who are you?
The answer to that mystery is that attraction is based on three things: you consider them approachable, believe in positive facts about them, and if they make you feel good.
If these three factors are incomplete this could lead to not being attracted to the person no matter how hollywood-esque that smile is.
Here are six psychological things that make you less attractive
1. Being sleep deprived
No matter how much caffeine you swell, sleep deprivation takes a toll on everything.
This could ruin the first impression meeting with someone.
When you first meet someone, you have a limited amount of information to decide your next steps: Should you get closer, or should you back Away slowly.
As humans, we rely on sight initially to give us that quick initial assessment, so if you show up looking like a haggard potato, your selfie or Instagram buddy potential isn’t the only thing that’s less than stellar.
Other attraction factors, like the appearance of health and trustworthiness, also take a hit.
2. Body smell
Fabio is one thing, and there are plenty of products and methods to avoid it, but ever think about a similar body odor?
This goes deep and comes from your DNA.
We have something called a major histocompatibility complex or mhc.
They’re a group of genes that do coding to help out the immune system and they influence body odor.
So bathing yourself in cologne doesn’t change anything.
Studies have found that women were more attracted to men with this similar mhcs to their own.
This is hypothesized to encourage gene variability thus a stronger immune system.
3. Excessive focus on appearance
Hey, we’re all into looking good and feeling good. You do you and love yourself for it, just don’t let it go overboard.
Sure, initial encounters are strongly influenced by physical attractiveness but that’s fleeting.
No matter how much of a hottie they appear to be, if all they care about is their self-image that becomes a repulsing factor.
It’s true that in the end we need substance, and if all we’re getting is air, where is Howdy
4. Not being humble
When you get a win do you crow that it was all you, that you’re just legendary and single-handedly did it all.
Or do you credit those who helped you like friends, teachers, family, and maybe even that one cashier who would stay five minutes late every shift just to make sure you could get some food at the end of the night.
Humility, also known as a modest view of oneself, was found to help not only start but maintain romantic relationships with humble partners being scored as more attractive than arrogant ones.
So, although we like to contribute for the good of the cause we still want to be acknowledged for our part.
Whether it be a project or a partnership, if that recognition is used up, where It’s only their name on the credit reel; we tend to feel cheated, betrayed, or used.
5. Overly smiley or too proud
Related to the previous point. This is all about how you hold yourself or appear in pictures.
If you look pompous, puffed out, and arrogant or overly smiley, it gives the same vibe as not being humble.
This type of nonverbal expression implies that perhaps that smile can’t be trusted and that pride may override the well-being of anyone other than themselves.
6. Contractive body language
Turtles are cute but it’s because they’re turtles.
You’re a human, don’t try to turtle yourself. It was found in a study between several universities that people become more attractive when their posture and bodily display are more expensive.
Like open arms and a non-hunched back singles welcome, the opposite of that contractual body language like crossing your arms and legs and hunching over decreases desirability.
This is conveying a message of don’t come close, i’m closing myself off from you.
So if you want to welcome people in, go ahead and put your body into it.
We used to think attraction equals physical beauty, but we know now that attraction is a complex thing involving the whole person inside and out, flaws and all.
Which of these things have you noticed in yourself or others? Have you tried changing anything, and how did it work out?
We’d love to see you get into some good conversation below.
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