Ever find yourself replaying a conversation in your head and thinking, “Wow, that could’ve gone better”?
You’re not alone. Most people have had awkward social moments—maybe they interrupted someone too often or froze up entirely.
While these moments can be cringe-worthy, they’re also entirely fixable with some self-awareness and a few tweaks in your approach.
In my career as a relationship counselor, I’ve noticed that many of these missteps come from the same root issues: not truly listening, not being mindful of body language, and overthinking what the other person might be thinking.
The good news is that once you recognize these patterns, you can replace them with healthier habits that instantly improve how you connect with others.
Below, I’ll walk you through seven common behaviors that hold people back in social settings and how to overcome them. If any of these ring a bell, don’t worry—the beauty here is that every single one is fixable.
1. Hogging the conversation
I’ve lost count of how many times clients have said something like, “I don’t understand why I never get asked to lunch at work,” only to realize they dominate every conversation.
If you find yourself doing all the talking—often about yourself or your own experiences—it can come across as self-absorbed.
People might drift away simply because they feel their voices aren’t being heard.
The fix? Practice the art of curiosity.
Instead of launching into a story about yourself, ask the other person questions about their experiences, opinions, or day-to-day life.
It’s a simple shift, but it makes a big difference.
I remind people all the time: you don’t have to be fascinating; you just have to be interested.
When you show genuine curiosity, the conversation flows more naturally, and you’ll find folks eager to spend more time with you.
2. Missing body language cues
Have you ever been in a conversation where someone’s nodding along to your words, but their eyes are glazing over?
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Or maybe you’ve had the opposite experience—someone leaning in, smiling, and looking fully engaged.
Body language is a silent communicator that speaks volumes before you ever say a word.
According to research, nonverbal cues like posture, eye contact, and facial expressions can account for more than half of the impact of your overall communication.
That means if you’re forgetting to make eye contact or if your posture is closed off—arms crossed, shoulders hunched—you might be sending the message that you’d rather not be there at all.
Try simple shifts like maintaining comfortable eye contact (not a creepy stare-down), uncrossing your arms, and mirroring the other person’s posture.
These small adjustments send a big signal: “I’m here, and I’m genuinely interested in what you have to say.”
3. Over-apologizing or putting yourself down
Some folks say sorry so often it feels like punctuation.
I’ve seen clients apologize for showing up on time, as if being present is an inconvenience.
Far from making you seem likable, over-apologizing can actually make you come across as lacking confidence or self-worth.
It might even shift the focus of the interaction onto you, ironically defeating the courtesy you think you’re providing by apologizing.
Try swapping out apologies for statements of gratitude or clarification.
For instance, instead of “Sorry if I’m rambling,” say, “Thanks for listening—this means a lot.”
This approach isn’t just about being polite; it also stops you from mentally shrinking yourself.
4. Avoiding eye contact
I know we touched on body language a moment ago, but eye contact deserves its own spotlight because it’s that important—and that problematic for some people.
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A quick anecdote from my counseling sessions: one client told me she avoids eye contact because she feels it’s too intimidating.
As a result, people often perceived her as uninterested or even dishonest, neither of which were true.
If eye contact makes you nervous, try this: look at the bridge of the other person’s nose or just between their eyebrows.
It creates the illusion of eye contact without feeling so intense. Over time, you can work on holding genuine eye contact for a few seconds at a time.
Remember, glancing away periodically is natural—no one stares constantly. The key is to avoid darting your eyes around the room as if you’re desperate to find an escape route.
5. Failing to ask about the other person
Have you ever walked away from a conversation realizing you know nothing about the other person, yet they now know your life story?
This is a sure sign that you may be overlooking the fundamental give-and-take of social interaction.
Sure, some people are more talkative than others. But if you consistently share more than you inquire, others might feel invisible or undervalued in your presence.
An easy solution is to follow a simple pattern: if you catch yourself talking for more than a minute or so, pause and pose a question back to the other person.
Something like, “That’s how I got into my current role—how about you?”
It takes the spotlight off you and invites them to share.
The best part is that you’ll learn more about the people around you, which can lead to more meaningful connections.
6. Not knowing how to end a conversation gracefully
Sometimes, people with shaky social skills aren’t sure how to wind things down when a conversation has run its course.
They either ghost out abruptly or let the chat drag on until it’s painfully awkward.
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A more skillful approach is to find a natural wrap-up point: acknowledge the topic, and maybe express gratitude for the person’s time or insights.
For example, “I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on the new marketing project. Thanks for sharing—I should let you get back to your day!”
This shows respect for the other person’s time and politely signals that it’s time to move on.
Ending conversations gracefully leaves both parties with a positive impression, instead of a muddled, drawn-out moment.
7. Disregarding the social context
Finally, we have one that might not sound obvious at first, but it’s major.
Different settings call for different ways of engaging, and ignoring that can put people off faster than you’d expect.
Telling loud jokes at a solemn workplace meeting or initiating deep personal questions with a brand-new acquaintance can leave folks feeling uncomfortable or turned off.
It’s all about reading the room – that’s a real skill that comes in handy, in both personal and professional settings.
Pay attention to how others are interacting, the tone of the event, and the overall vibe.
If it’s a casual get-together, you might be more relaxed in your speech and body language.
If it’s a formal occasion, keep things professional and polite.
Adjusting to context doesn’t mean changing who you are; it means respecting the environment you’re in and the people around you.
Final thoughts
I’ve met plenty of clients who worry they’re doomed to be “awkward” forever.
Take it from someone who’s seen countless transformations: awkwardness is rarely permanent.
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These seven behaviors can be shifted with practice, self-awareness, and a willingness to try new strategies.
You don’t have to become the ultimate social butterfly or the world’s most eloquent speaker.
In most cases, a few small changes—like offering genuine compliments, asking thoughtful questions, or maintaining comfortable eye contact—can make a dramatic difference in how people perceive you.
It’s all about feeling more at ease in your own skin, so you can then put others at ease too.
Of course, it helps to remember that growth doesn’t happen overnight.
If you fumble a little at first, that’s completely normal. Keep going. Talk to friends, family members, or even a professional if you feel stuck.
And know that every honest effort to connect more effectively is a step toward better, more fulfilling relationships.
After all, social skills aren’t just about looking good in a crowd—they’re about genuinely enjoying the time you spend with other people, and helping them enjoy it too.
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