There are people in life who just seem to have it all.
They’re in a happy relationship, they are surrounded by great people, and they are living their lives on their own terms.
Is it just luck, or is there some secret to happiness?
Well, It’s not luck. And for your information, there is no secret to this happiness.
Real happiness is tied to our day to day habits, so it is the deliberate choices we make about our thoughts and behaviors that determine whether or not we’ll be happy.
There are, of course, external factors that can affect our happiness, but this blog post is about the behaviors that might be holding you back, and what happy people do instead.
As you read, think about your own life and whether you’re making choices that bring you joy.
Here are 12 things happy people don’t do.
1. They Don’t Blame Others
How do you react when something doesn’t go as planned?
Do you roll with the punches and take it as a lesson learned, or do you look for someone to blame?
Happy people believe they have control over their own lives, so they take responsibility for the good and the bad.
If things aren’t going as planned, they do what needs to be done to fix it and they don’t look around for people to blame for it.
They don’t give up and blame others because there’s really no value in excuses or pointing the finger at someone else.
Now think about yourself, when things didn’t go as planned, what do you do? What are your reactions to it?
Do you point fingers or look for someone to blame, if so, it’s time to head up and be responsible and stop blaming others.
2. They Don’t Try to Convince Others to Change
Happy people believe they create their own destiny, and they allow others to do the same whether they agree with the other person’s choices and actions or not.
Just because they don’t like something about someone, doesn’t mean they expect that person to change according to their expectations.
They accept others and meet them where they’re at, finding a way to get along or work together harmoniously.
If that’s just not possible, they’ll limit their contact with that person because, while they won’t try to change anyone, they won’t allow others to bring them down either.
So if you know someone who wants other people to change, tell the person that that behavior doesn’t belong to a happy person.
And if this is about you, then you know now and it is not too late to correct and make changes.
3. They Don’t Avoid Their Emotions
Happy people aren’t happy all the time. Rather, they know how to acknowledge negative emotions and then allow themselves to truly feel so that they can release those feelings, instead of letting them fester inside.
After all, you can’t have the good without some bad, right?
Whether it’s anger, sadness, or stress, they don’t suppress or avoid it.
By dealing with their feelings head-on, they’re less susceptible to things like anger or resentment.
There is this my old friend from school, who always gets sad immediately when something bad happens. But after sometime you will see him back in a positive mood.
That is the true character of a happy person, he doesn’t avoid his emotions while at the same time he doesn’t spend the entire day feeling sad.
4. They Don’t Let Their Health Go
There’s been a lot of buzz about self-care recently, and that’s because it is important. The mind and body are intricately intertwined.
Knowing this, happy people take care of their physical and mental health.
Rather than having some unrealistic standard of vanity, they focus on eating nutritious food and getting adequate exercise.
They include time each day to nourish and energize their bodies by getting enough sleep to ensure that they’re able to tackle whatever the day throws at them.
5. They Don’t Let Work Take Over Their Life
Another recent buzz term is work-life balance. In our world of constant go, go, go, it’s easy to get caught up in the hamster wheel of work.
It seems like there’s so much to do with not enough time.
Happy people know when to turn work off, because overworking can lead to burnout.
Once the day is done, they can put work aside until the next workday.
After all, if they’re always working, when would they find time to do all the other stuff that happy people do?
Everyone’s busy, but these folks are sure to make time for relationships no matter how busy work gets.
So, it is important we create a fine line between work and doing stuff that makes us happy.
Take me as an example, I used to get stuck with my laptop thinking the more content I write the more readers I will have in return.
But as time goes by, I begin to notice that my life is now all about me and my work, no friends around to gist with. That is when the reality of letting work take over my life set in.
But just as everyone else I was able to make changes and create time for both work and doing some other things that makes me happy.
So if you find yourself in this situation, change is absolutely possible. We can always make corrections.
6. They Don’t Neglect to Address Things That Bother Them
While happy people don’t try to change others, they also don’t have a problem voicing their opinions when something doesn’t sit right with them.
Getting annoyed with others is natural, whether it’s your coworkers, friends, or partner, but those who hold in their frustrations are less likely to come to a resolution, so they feel miserable inside.
And because they haven’t said anything, the other person rarely knows something’s wrong.
If this is you, it is time to speak out and address the issues that bothers you, because your mind is only free when you talk about what bothers you.
And it is only a free mind that experiences true happiness.
7. They Don’t Weigh All Opinions Equally
Happy people know that some people’s opinions matter more than others. And they don’t waste their time on those that aren’t worthwhile.
If someone they barely know says something critical, they may consider it because they’re always open to feedback, but they won’t let it get them down because they know that the opinions and advice from those they admire are more valuable.
8. They Don’t Keep Score with Their Friends and Partner
It’s not a great feeling when you do something for someone, only for them to bring up something bigger that they did for you in the past.
Happy people don’t keep score in their relationships, whether romantic or platonic.
Forget 50-50. In the best relationships, both individuals give 100%.
They’re all in, and because they choose to surround themselves with great people, there’s rarely the opportunity to keep score of who does more.
So If you are the type of person that keeps score of what you do for others in a good way or keeping score of what others did to you in a bad way, now is the time to ask yourself: Are you truly happy?
Moreover, Life of happy people is all about giving 100% without keeping the record or expecting anything in return.
9. They Don’t Live Their Life to Please Others
Making decisions based on what other people think is exhausting and unfulfilling.
Since happy people have a strong sense of self-worth, they don’t seek the approval of the people around them.
While they are receptive to the opinions of others, they don’t let them drive their decisions or determine their value.
This can be tough sometimes.
For example, someone might feel pressured by friends to do something unsafe.
A happy person wouldn’t give in to peer pressure or hesitate to speak up and say no.
They have strong boundaries and values and stick by them.
Sometimes happy people’s decisions might disappoint others, but they’re secure in their convictions and trust their instincts.
10. They Don’t Put A Dollar Amount on Success
Who wouldn’t like a big house, a fancy car, or jet-setting around the world?
Sure, money can buy all those things, but the happiness that those things bring is temporary.
No matter how much fancy stuff you have, it can’t provide genuine happiness because there will always be something better.
And money isn’t nearly as enjoyable when you don’t have special people to share it with.
True happiness can’t come from material possessions, and happy people know this.
Instead, they value the important things like the quality of their relationships, their self-worth, everyday pleasures, and the little things in life.
These are what will remain after the novelty of all the bright and shiny stuff wears off.
11. They Don’t Resist Change
Change can be scary, and many people avoid it out of fear and because they want to maintain a feeling of control in their lives.
Happy people, on the other hand, accept that change is inevitable.
They might have some fear also, but they don’t back down from it. Instead, they embrace it.
Whether it’s time to leave a job or a relationship that is no longer serving them, they know when to let go.
They are flexible enough to deal with whatever comes their way even in the most unfamiliar situations.
No check yourself, are you still stuck with that job or someone who doesn’t make it happy? If so, it is time to embrace change and understand that it is time to let go.
12. They Don’t Forget How to Live in The Moment
So many people get caught up in the past.
They spend time replaying things that happened and obsess over how they could have done things differently.
Then, there are people who constantly think about the future.
Whether it’s anxiety about things that could happen or daydreaming about what they want, neither are particularly useful in excess.
Of course, happy people look back on their mistakes and learn from them.
And they have dreams and aspirations for the future, but more often than not, they’re present in the moment and enjoying it.
So if you notice you are not as happy as you want to be, it’s time to check yourself if you are truly living in the current moments or the past and future.
Conclusion
Happiness is usually about simplifying things. Doing less of the insignificant, knowing what’s important, and then focusing on those things.
While it is a good thing to seek self-improvement by learning new things and adopting new habits, it’s just as important to recognize and release the behaviors that aren’t making you a better, happier person.
So how many of these things are you doing that are hindering your happiness? Is there anything else you will like to add to this list, let me know in the comment section.
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