When a Boomer says, “Back in my day”, you might feel a twinge of annoyance. If they lump all millennials into one stereotype, that annoyance might turn into resentment.
This is the reality of generational differences.
But it’s not always as straightforward. In fact, the dynamics between generations are so nuanced that it’s often hard to put a finger on what exactly triggers these negative feelings.
Let’s dive into this further. Here are eight things Boomers do that leave younger people feeling resentful.
1) The “Back in my day” syndrome
We’ve all heard it.
That nostalgic phrase, “Back in my day…” that Boomers love to throw around. While it seems harmless, to younger generations, it often feels like a dismissive wave of the hand.
Why? Well, it’s simple.
When a Boomer says this, it can feel like they’re invalidating the unique challenges and experiences that younger generations face today.
This phrase implies that things were harder, better, or more meaningful in their time – leaving millennials and Gen Zs feeling belittled and misunderstood.
It’s frustrating to be on the receiving end of this sentiment because it’s not just about reminiscing the good old days anymore.
It’s about comparing, evaluating, and often undermining what younger generations go through.
So boomers, next time you’re tempted to start a sentence with “Back in my day”, remember – every generation has its own struggles and triumphs.
2) The overgeneralization problem
I remember this one time, at a family gathering, my uncle, a classic Boomer, made a sweeping statement about how all millennials are entitled and lazy.
Honestly, it stung.
Why? Because I’m a millennial who works incredibly hard. I juggle multiple jobs, pay my own bills, and still find time to help out in my community. To be lumped into this stereotype felt unfair and dismissive.
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This is something Boomers often do – they overgeneralize and stereotype younger generations. It’s frustrating and hurtful because it ignores the diversity and individuality within each generation.
Every generation has its outliers, but to label an entire group based on the actions of a few? That’s bound to brew resentment.
3) Technological resistance
Here’s something to consider. Boomers grew up in an era where technology wasn’t as prevalent.
They wrote letters instead of emails, used landlines instead of cell phones, and read physical newspapers instead of online articles.
Despite the world moving rapidly towards digitalization, some Boomers still resist modern technology.
This resistance often falls onto the younger generation to bridge the gap, which can be exhausting and frustrating, particularly considering that a 2019 Pew Research study found that 73% of adults consider internet usage as an essential part of their daily lives.
It’s not just about teaching them how to use a smartphone or social media.
It’s about the reluctance to adapt and understand why these technologies are important and useful in the first place. This lack of willingness to adapt can lead to feelings of resentment among younger generations.
4) The “hard work” narrative
One common narrative that Boomers often propagate is the hard work narrative.
They tend to believe that success comes solely from hard work and perseverance, often overlooking the role of privilege, societal structures, and sheer luck in one’s achievements.
While it’s true that hard work is crucial, it’s not always enough in today’s economic climate.
Housing prices are skyrocketing, student loan debt is at an all-time high, and job markets are increasingly competitive.
But when Boomers insist that hard work is the only route to success, it can feel like they’re ignoring these realities.
This dismissal of legitimate challenges can lead to resentment and frustration among younger generations who are working hard but still struggling to achieve the same milestones that Boomers did at their age.
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5) Disregarding environmental concerns
Here’s something that really gets to me.
I’m passionate about environmental conservation. I recycle, try to limit my carbon footprint, and advocate for sustainable practices.
So, when I see Boomers dismissing climate change or refusing to adopt eco-friendly habits, it’s frustrating.
It’s not just about differing opinions. Our planet is at a critical point, and we need everyone on board to make a difference.
But when Boomers disregard environmental concerns because they won’t be around to see the consequences, it feels incredibly selfish.
It sends a message that they don’t care about the future they’re leaving for us and the generations to come. And honestly, that can stir up quite a bit of resentment.
6) Overemphasis on tradition
Traditions can be beautiful. They’re a way to connect us with our past and provide a sense of continuity and belonging. But sometimes, Boomers’ insistence on sticking to traditions can feel stifling.
Interestingly, it’s not always the traditions themselves that irk the younger generation, but the rigid adherence to them even when they no longer serve a purpose or align with modern values.
Insisting on traditional gender roles, for example, can feel oppressive to younger generations who champion gender equality and fluidity.
Similarly, insisting on formal modes of communication in an era of digital informality can seem unnecessarily complicated.
This resistance to change and evolution can make younger people feel like they’re being held back by outdated norms and expectations, fueling feelings of resentment.
7) Underestimating younger generations
There’s nothing quite as frustrating as being underestimated, especially by those who should be supporting and encouraging you. Unfortunately, this is something younger generations often face from Boomers.
Whether it’s doubting their abilities, questioning their dedication, or simply dismissing their ideas because of their age, underestimation can be incredibly disheartening.
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Not only does it discourage younger generations, but it also creates a barrier that prevents valuable intergenerational learning and collaboration.
This lack of faith and respect can easily lead to feelings of resentment among younger people.
8) Lack of open dialogue
At the heart of all these issues is a fundamental problem: the lack of open dialogue between generations. Boomers and younger generations often talk past each other, rather than to each other.
This communication gap prevents understanding and empathy from both sides, leading to misconceptions and resentment.
By opening up honest, respectful dialogues, we can bridge this gap and foster understanding between generations. Only then can we truly move forward.
Reflections on resentment
If you’ve journeyed with me through these eight points, you might be feeling a mix of emotions.
Perhaps some of these points resonated with you, or maybe they brought up some difficult conversations you’ve had with the Boomers in your life.
I hope this article offers a clearer understanding of where some of that resentment comes from. It’s not about blaming Boomers or dismissing younger generations. It’s about fostering understanding and empathy.
Remember, every generation has its unique experiences and challenges. Recognizing this is the first step towards bridging the generational gap.
And as American journalist Tom Brokaw wisely said:
“You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.”
Let’s use our understanding, our experiences, and yes, even our resentments, as our tickets to change the world – one conversation at a time.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to navigate this complex thing called life. And that’s something we all have in common, regardless of our age.
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