8 Signs You’re Dealing With a Man-child, Not a Mature Partner

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Navigating the waters of adult relationships can be a tricky business.

You’re with this guy, right? You used to think he was the one, but you’ve begun to notice some things that give you pause.

It’s not like he’s doing anything terrible. He’s not cheating, or lying, or being abusive. The problems are subtler than that.

You find yourself having to pick up after him, make excuses for his behavior, or constantly soothe his ego. You’re starting to feel more like his mother than his partner.

Could it be that you’re dealing with a man-child and not the mature partner you thought you had?

Here are eight tell-tale signs that might indicate you’re dating an overgrown child rather than a fully-grown man.

This isn’t just about pointing fingers or making fun. It’s about understanding what we deserve in a relationship and not settling for less.

It’s about demanding respect, maturity, and balanced partnership. It’s about being able to recognize when someone isn’t ready to provide those things and knowing when it’s time to move on.

Because let’s face it: we can’t edit our partners into the mature adults we need them to be. And unlike a rough draft, there’s no professional service that can proofread and correct our relationships for us.

So let’s get to it: here are the eight signs that you might be dealing with a man-child instead of a mature partner.

1) You’re always cleaning up his mess

When it comes to adult relationships, there’s a certain level of responsibility and respect you’d expect from your partner.

It’s not about doing chores or washing dishes. It’s far deeper than that.

If you find yourself always having to clean up after him – not just physically but emotionally too – then you might be dealing with a man-child.

Maybe he leaves his clothes strewn around the house, or perhaps he never remembers to pay his bills on time. Maybe he’s constantly getting into petty arguments with friends or colleagues and expects you to smooth things over for him.

You’re his partner, not his parent. You shouldn’t have to babysit anyone in an adult relationship.

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If it starts to feel like you’re more of a caretaker than a girlfriend, this is a glaring sign you might be dealing with a man-child. It’s about understanding that mature relationships involve two adults who can handle their responsibilities independently, without expecting their partner to pick up the slack.

2) He avoids serious conversations

Communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. But what happens when your partner consistently shies away from serious conversations?

I remember a time when I tried to talk to my guy about our future. I wanted to discuss things like moving in together and maybe even starting a family. His response? He’d change the subject or make some joke to avoid the topic completely.

It wasn’t just about the future, though. Anytime I tried to have a meaningful conversation about our relationship or feelings, he would brush it off.

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Dealing with a man-child often means dealing with someone who avoids serious conversations because they’re afraid or uncomfortable.

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If your partner consistently puts off these important discussions, it could be a sign that he’s not mature enough to handle an adult relationship.

After all, being able to communicate honestly and openly about serious issues is a sign of maturity and respect for your partner.

3) He lacks emotional maturity

As Sigmund Freud once said, “Maturity is the ability to postpone gratification”.

This quote rings particularly true when dealing with a man-child. Unlike a mature adult, who understands the value of delayed gratification and emotional restraint, a man-child often wants instant satisfaction.

He wants his needs met immediately, without considering the consequences or the feelings of others.

Take for example a weekend plan. You might want to spend some quiet time at home, catching up on your favorite book or maybe even some work. A mature partner would respect this and plan around it.

But a man-child? He’d whine and complain until you give in and join him for his planned weekend of partying or gaming.

This lack of emotional maturity is not only frustrating but it’s also a clear sign you’re dealing with a man-child. A

A healthy relationship requires emotional maturity from both partners – the ability to understand and respect each other’s needs, even if it means putting off your own desires for a while.

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4) He’s overly dependent on you

In the animal kingdom, there’s a type of bird called the European Cuckoo. The female lays her eggs in other birds’ nests and leaves the responsibility of rearing her young to the unsuspecting hosts.

Does this sound familiar in your relationship? It’s like you’re dealing with a human version of a Cuckoo. You’re constantly being burdened with responsibilities that shouldn’t be yours alone.

It could be anything – from making all the decisions in your relationship to handling his personal obligations.

An adult relationship is supposed to be a partnership, not a one-sided affair where one person is overly dependent on the other.

If you find yourself in a situation where he can’t seem to function without your help or input, it’s a sign you’re dealing with a man-child.

A mature partner values independence and understands that each person in the relationship has their own roles and responsibilities.

5) He doesn’t respect your boundaries

Boundaries are essential in any relationship. They ensure that each person’s needs are met and that one person doesn’t overpower the other.

But what if your partner constantly crosses these boundaries?

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Maybe you’ve told him that you need some alone time after work to decompress from the day, but he insists on hanging out with you immediately after you get home.

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Perhaps you’ve asked him not to touch your personal belongings without asking, but he continues to do so.

These are clear signs of a lack of respect for your boundaries, and by extension, for you. It shows that your partner doesn’t value your needs or feelings, or simply doesn’t take them into consideration.

When you’re dealing with a man-child, your boundaries might be constantly tested or outright ignored.

A mature partner, on the other hand, not only respects your boundaries but also has his own. This mutual respect is a hallmark of a mature and healthy relationship.

6) He’s constantly playing the victim

Life throws curveballs at us, and it’s normal to feel down and discouraged sometimes. However, if your partner is constantly playing the victim and blaming others for his problems, it’s a clear sign of immaturity.

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It’s like he’s stuck in a perpetual loop of “poor me” and “it’s not my fault”. Maybe he blames his boss for his lack of career progression or his friends for his social problems. Perhaps he even blames you for issues in your relationship.

This inability to accept responsibility and constantly shifting blame is a classic trait of a man-child.

A mature partner, on the other hand, understands that he is the master of his destiny. He knows that while he can’t control everything that happens to him, he can control his reactions and actions.

Playing the victim is not only emotionally draining for those around him, but it also prevents him from growing and learning from his mistakes.

If you find yourself with a partner who never takes responsibility and always plays the victim, it may be time to reconsider your relationship.

7) He never compromises

In a relationship, compromise isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s a must-have. It’s the oil that keeps the gears of a relationship running smoothly.

But what if your partner never compromises?

Picture this: you want to watch a romantic movie but he insists on an action flick. You suggest a vegetarian restaurant for dinner, he demands steak.

Every decision becomes a battle, with him always wanting his way.

This unwillingness to compromise and meet you halfway is not just frustrating, but it’s also an indication that you’re dealing with a man-child.

A mature partner understands the importance of giving and taking. He knows that not everything will always go his way and is willing to make concessions for the sake of harmony in the relationship.

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If it feels like you’re always bending to his will and your needs and preferences are constantly being sidelined, this is a clear sign of immaturity.

In an adult relationship, both partners’ opinions matter and compromises should be made to ensure both individuals are happy and satisfied.

8) He doesn’t support your goals

In a true partnership, both individuals encourage and support each other’s dreams and aspirations. Whether it’s a career move, a personal goal or even a hobby, having a partner who backs you up is crucial.

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But what if your partner doesn’t support your goals?

Perhaps he belittles your ambitions or makes you feel silly for chasing your dreams. Maybe he’s indifferent or, worse, actively hinders your progress.

This lack of support is not just disappointing but it’s also a clear indicator that you’re dealing with a man-child.

A mature partner understands the importance of individual growth in a relationship. He would be your biggest cheerleader, and even if he doesn’t share the same passions, he would still support you wholeheartedly.

If you feel like your dreams and goals are being dismissed or ignored, it’s time to reassess. You deserve a partner who respects your aspirations and supports you in achieving them.

After all, being in a relationship shouldn’t mean giving up on your dreams.

Final thoughts

Recognizing that you’re in a relationship with a man-child can be tough to swallow. It’s even tougher when you’ve invested emotions, time, and perhaps shared dreams.

But the first step towards change is awareness.

If the signs we’ve discussed are strikingly familiar to you, it’s time for some reflection. Remember, you’re not responsible for anyone’s growth but your own. You can’t edit someone into maturity or proofread their character to perfection.

While relationships involve some degree of compromise and understanding, it’s also important to ensure your own emotional wellbeing. If you find yourself constantly drained or unhappy, it might be time to rethink your relationship dynamics.

Consider having an open conversation with your partner about your concerns. Maybe he’s unaware of his behavior or perhaps he’s willing to make changes. If not, know that it’s okay to walk away.

Just like Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” It’s essential to find someone who contributes positively to your “why”, and not someone who hinders it.

In the end, remember that you deserve a partner who respects you, supports your dreams, values your opinions, and is willing to grow with you. Don’t settle for anything less. 

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