Have you ever felt like everyone around you is achieving milestone after milestone, while you’re left spinning your wheels?
I’ve been there, stuck in a corporate role I’d once dreamed of—only to wake up in my late twenties wondering why I felt so out of sync with my supposed “success.”
That sense of being behind can creep up unexpectedly. Maybe you’re scrolling through social media and see old classmates landing dream jobs, starting businesses, or traveling the world.
Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed by the thought: “Shouldn’t I be further along by now?” The voice in your head screams that you’re already too late, too underqualified, or too old.
The truth is, these thoughts are more common than you might think. But the key to dealing with them starts with awareness.
Let’s dig into eight mental loops that people in this situation often grapple with.
Hopefully, recognizing them will help you break free of the self-imposed pressure and get back on track with your life.
1. “I should have done X by now, right?”
This thought usually pops up when you notice someone else hitting a milestone you wanted for yourself.
They just bought a house, got married, started a business, or completed an advanced degree.
You, on the other hand, are left with that ache of “Why aren’t I at that stage?”
It’s natural to have goals. But pinning them to a rigid timeline can create stress and a nagging sense of failure.
Life isn’t always linear—sometimes it’s more like a winding path with surprising detours.
When I was still in my old job, I constantly told myself I should’ve climbed the corporate ladder by a certain age. Only later did I realize it was the wrong ladder altogether.
A good reminder comes from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus: “We are disturbed not by events, but by the views we take of them.”
In other words, the idea that you’re off-schedule is often just a story you’re telling yourself.
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2. “Everyone else is doing better than me”
If you’ve ever spent a mindless hour on social media, you’ve probably felt this.
You see photos of old friends vacationing in Greece, colleagues announcing promotions, or relatives flaunting new ventures. Suddenly, you feel like the only one not winning at life.
I had a phase where I’d compare my situation to literally everyone else’s. But I realized I was looking at their highlight reels—curated snapshots of success, often leaving out the behind-the-scenes struggles.
The comparison trap can erode confidence faster than anything else. It can even put us at risk for depression.
But there’s a way to not fall into the trap. The team at Psychology Today offers this solution:
“Ultimately, the greatest protection against falling into the comparison trap—and the best way to pull yourself out of it—is to develop and maintain a stable sense of self.”
“That means cultivating your identity and self-esteem, nourishing relationships with people who see the real you, and staying attuned to your truest beliefs,” they add.
3. “I missed my window of opportunity”
This one can sneak up on you when you’re considering a major change, like going back to school or switching careers.
You start thinking, “If only I had done this in my early twenties…” or “It’s too late to start over now.”
Age and timing become your invisible shackles, holding you back from even attempting something new.
But in my experience, timing is often more flexible than we give it credit for.
Plenty of people pivot late in life—some of the most inspirational entrepreneurs and creators began well after what society deems the ‘ideal’ window.
Sure, it might feel awkward to be the oldest student in a class or the newcomer in a field where everyone else started years ago. But discomfort doesn’t equal impossibility.
4. “I’m not good enough to catch up”
This thought is the cousin of imposter syndrome.
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You start believing that not only are you behind, but you also lack the talent, skills, or intelligence to ever bridge the gap.
Often, this comes from internalizing past failures. Maybe you tried something once, it didn’t work out, and now you assume you don’t have what it takes.
I learned a lot about this mindset shift through reading the works of Carol Dweck, who popularized the idea of a “growth mindset.” She emphasizes that skills can be developed with effort.
You’re not stuck at your current level of ability—if you put in the time and practice, you can improve.
For instance, when I wanted to break into writing, I started out with a small step – blogging on weekends. This helped me refine my voice bit by bit. Eventually, it became a viable career path.
All that to say, feeling behind doesn’t mean you’re incapable—just that you’re in the middle of the process.
The voice telling you you’re not good enough is loud, but it’s not the truth. It’s just fear dressed up as logic, trying to convince you that growth is reserved for other people.
So the next time your mind whispers, “You’re not good enough,” try responding with this:
“Maybe not yet. But I’m getting there.”
5. “Time’s running out for me”
You might have a voice in your head that says, “If I don’t do it now, I’ll never do it.”
While a sense of urgency can motivate you, it can also lead to panic if you convince yourself you’re on a strict deadline.
Life isn’t a single marathon with a universal finish line. We all have different paces, and it’s okay if you’re the person who takes a few breaks along the route.
Sure, sometimes certain opportunities are more available in specific seasons of life. But that doesn’t mean your future can’t hold brand-new paths that are just as rewarding, if not more.
When I decided to leave the corporate world, I had a mini freak-out about how I was “too late” to become a writer.
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But you know what? The clock never actually struck midnight on my dream.
In fact, I’ve found there’s a whole new horizon of possibilities I hadn’t even considered before.
6. “Why bother? I’m so far behind that it’s hopeless”
This can be the darkest of all the thoughts.
You feel so overwhelmed by how much ground you think you have to cover that giving up seems easier than trying.
It’s a form of learned helplessness. You’ve convinced yourself that no amount of effort will get you where you want to be, so you might as well throw in the towel.
But the catch is, once you adopt this mindset, you’re basically guaranteeing you won’t move forward.
Listen, every tiny success story out there—whether it’s a new startup or someone’s weight-loss journey—begins with one determined step.
Think of it like editing a massive manuscript. You don’t revise the entire thing at once. You start with one sentence, one page, and keep going until it’s polished.
Life changes are kind of like that too.
7. “I’m just not that kind of person”
When it comes to success, oftentimes, the biggest barrier is what’s going on inside your own head.
I myself have fallen into this trap. As an introvert, I used to box myself in with so many labels—telling myself I wasn’t the type to lead meetings, speak publicly, or take bold risks.
I convinced myself that certain paths just weren’t for “people like me.”
But here’s what I’ve come to realize: most of those labels weren’t based on truth—they were based on comfort.
Saying “I’m not that kind of person” can feel like a personality trait, but more often, it’s a defense mechanism. It’s a way of protecting yourself from failure, judgment, or even success that feels unfamiliar.
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After taking Ruda Iandê’s Free Your Mind masterclass (which, to be honest, I was pretty skeptical about at first), I finally saw how many of my limitations were self-imposed.
One exercise in the course helped me unpack the belief that being an introvert meant I had to stay small and quiet. I realized I was clinging to a rigid narrative about who I was and what I could do.
What I’ve learned is this: your identity isn’t fixed. You can evolve. And sometimes the first step is letting go of the belief that you’re not the kind of person who can.
Rounding things off
Feeling behind can be a tough headspace to climb out of, especially when the world seems to move at lightning speed.
But don’t forget: much of this pressure comes from stories you tell yourself or comparisons you make with others’ curated images of success.
Every journey looks different. If you keep waiting for the “perfect moment” to start something new, you might be waiting forever.
Instead, challenge those limiting beliefs. Get curious about what might happen if you take consistent, imperfect action.
For me, the shift began when I recognized the power of a single decision—choosing to walk away from a corporate life that didn’t make sense anymore and embracing the uncertainty of forging my own path.
And hey, it’s okay if your path doesn’t look like anyone else’s. And I should add, it probably shouldn’t because you’ve got your own unique set of strengths and talents.
You’ve got this. And if you ever doubt that, just revisit these thoughts to see where you might be tripping yourself up—and then keep moving forward, one day at a time.
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