We all react differently to criticism. Some of us take it in stride, using it as a stepping stone to improve. Others, well, they don’t handle it quite as well.
These individuals often display certain defensive habits when faced with feedback they don’t like.
It’s not just about being sensitive or taking things personally – these habits can actually hinder personal and professional growth.
In this article, “People who can’t handle criticism often display these defensive habits”, we’ll delve into the telltale signs. Keep reading and you might recognize a few habits in yourself or others around you.
1) Immediate defensiveness
There’s a common behaviour seen in those who struggle to handle criticism. It’s the instant reflex to get defensive.
This isn’t just about refuting the feedback or expressing disagreement. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often accompanied by a barrage of excuses or counter-arguments.
These individuals are so quick to defend themselves that they rarely take the time to consider if the criticism might actually be valid. The focus is on self-preservation, not self-improvement.
It’s a telltale sign of someone who can’t handle criticism. They’re not just bothered by it – they’re thrown off balance by it. This immediate defensiveness can make it hard for them to learn from their mistakes, and it often leaves a sour taste in the mouths of the people trying to help them improve.
Remember, criticism is not an attack. It’s a tool for growth. If you’re quick to get defensive, you might want to consider why that is and what you can do about it.
2) They personalize the feedback
I’ll be honest, I’ve been guilty of this one myself.
Once, a colleague of mine gave me some constructive criticism about a presentation I’d given. Instead of taking it as an opportunity to improve, I internalized it. I started thinking, “She must think I’m terrible at my job” or “She probably thinks I’m not smart enough.”
I let the criticism define me, instead of seeing it as a comment on that one specific presentation.
It’s a habit many of us fall into – we take the criticism personally, rather than viewing it as a critique of our actions or work. It’s important to remember that criticism is often about the task at hand, not your character.
So next time you find yourself personalizing feedback, take a step back. Remember that it’s not about you as a person, but about how you can improve in your role or task.
Get Smarter Everyday Join Us On WhatsApp
3) They see criticism as a threat
This reaction to criticism actually has its roots in our brain’s biology. When we perceive criticism, our amygdala – the part of our brain responsible for processing emotions – can trigger a fight or flight response. This means that, to some degree, feeling threatened by criticism is a natural response.
However, those who can’t handle criticism often take this to an extreme. Instead of seeing feedback as an opportunity to improve, they perceive it as a direct threat to their self-esteem or status. This often results in them becoming overly defensive or even aggressive.
Understanding this can help us learn to manage our reactions to criticism. Instead of allowing our brain’s instinctive response to take over, we can consciously choose to see criticism as helpful feedback that aids our personal and professional growth.
4) They shift the blame
Another defensive habit often displayed by people who can’t handle criticism is shifting the blame. Instead of owning up to the issues or mistakes pointed out, they instinctively find someone or something else to hold accountable.
It’s the classic “It wasn’t my fault” response. Whether it’s blaming a colleague for not providing information on time, or blaming a traffic jam for being late to a meeting, these individuals have a habit of deflecting responsibility.
This habit not only hinders personal growth but also damages relationships. It’s important to remember that taking responsibility for our actions shows maturity and opens the door for improvement.
5) They dismiss the feedback
Sometimes, the defensive habits of those who can’t handle criticism take a more passive form – dismissal. Rather than confronting or arguing against the criticism, they simply choose to ignore it.
This dismissal can manifest itself as a casual shrug of the shoulders, a nonchalant “I don’t care”, or even a sarcastic “Thanks for the feedback.” The message, however, remains the same: your opinion doesn’t matter to me.
But here’s the heartfelt truth: criticism, especially when it’s constructive and well-intended, is a gift. It takes courage for someone to point out our flaws, and it takes even more courage for us to accept them.
Dismissing criticism is like refusing to open a present. You’re denying yourself the opportunity to grow, learn and become better. So next time someone offers you constructive criticism, don’t dismiss it. Embrace it. It might just be the gift you didn’t know you needed.
6) They react with surprise
When I was younger and just starting out in my career, I remember being shocked when I received criticism. I had this naive belief that if I worked hard and did my best, I would be immune to criticism.
But the reality is, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have areas where we can improve.
Those who struggle with criticism often react with surprise, as if they can’t believe someone would find fault in their work. This shock can be a sign of perfectionism or a lack of self-awareness.
The key is to accept that criticism is a normal part of life – it doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that you’re not good enough. It just means there’s room for growth, and that’s something we should all welcome.
Get Smarter Everyday Join Us On WhatsApp
7) They respond with counter-criticism
Another common defensive habit is to respond to criticism with counter-criticism. Instead of addressing the feedback, these individuals often deflect by highlighting flaws or mistakes in the person giving the criticism.
It often becomes a “You’re one to talk” situation. Instead of focusing on the issue at hand, the conversation derails into a tit-for-tat exchange.
This habit not only avoids addressing the initial criticism but also creates an adversarial atmosphere, making constructive conversations difficult.
Remember, feedback is not a competition. It’s about growth and improvement. Responding to criticism with counter-criticism only diverts from the real issue that needs to be addressed.
8) They let criticism define their self-worth
The most detrimental habit of those who can’t handle criticism is letting it define their self-worth. They equate criticism of their actions or work with being a failure as a person.
But here’s the thing: You are not defined by your mistakes or by other people’s opinions of you. You are much more than that.
Criticism is not a measure of your worth. It’s a tool to help you grow, improve and become the best version of yourself. Don’t let it diminish your confidence or make you feel less about yourself.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
We are all works in progress and dealing with criticism is a part of that journey.
For some, this journey might be steeper due to various factors – upbringing, personality traits, past experiences. But remember, it’s not about where you start but how far you come.
The habits discussed here aren’t meant to shame or blame. They’re signposts, indicators that might point to an area in your life where there’s room for growth.
If you recognized yourself in any of these defensive habits, don’t be disheartened. We’ve all been there at some point. The first step towards improvement is awareness and you’ve already taken that step by reading this article.
Remember, criticism is not your enemy. It’s a tool, a guide that can lead you towards self-improvement and personal growth. Use it wisely.
So take a moment. Reflect on these habits and consider how you can use criticism as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. Because every piece of feedback is an opportunity to learn, grow and become a better version of yourself.
Get Smarter Everyday Join Us On WhatsApp
