Navigating relationships is no easy task, especially when you’re dealing with a man who’s incredibly hard to be with. You see, these men often display toxic behaviors that can make a relationship feel like a minefield.
These behaviors are not just typical flaws or quirks; they’re serious red flags that could signal a destructive personality.
In this article, we’re going to shine a light on these behaviors. As the saying goes, forewarned is forearmed. With this knowledge, you can make informed decisions in your relationships and avoid potentially damaging situations.
So, let’s dive into these toxic behaviors often exhibited by men who are very difficult to be with.
1) He’s always right
One of the most common toxic behaviors found in men who are difficult to be with is an unyielding desire to always be right. This isn’t about being knowledgeable or having a healthy debate. This is about an overwhelming need to win every single argument, even at the cost of the relationship.
Being in a relationship means navigating through disagreements. But when one person can’t ever admit they’re wrong, it’s a sign that they value their ego more than your feelings or the health of the relationship.
Imagine constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, afraid to voice your opinion for fear of starting an argument. Or feeling belittled because your thoughts and feelings are never validated. That’s not a healthy dynamic.
If you notice this trait in a man, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored. A key part of any relationship is mutual respect and understanding, and that simply can’t exist if one person always has to be right.
2) Unnecessary jealousy
Another toxic behavior commonly seen in difficult men is an excessive amount of jealousy. Now, a tad bit of jealousy in a relationship can be healthy, showing that your partner cares about you. But when it crosses a line, it can become suffocating and harmful.
Let me give you an example from my own experience. I once dated a man who would get jealous over the smallest things. If I spent time with my male friends, even those he had met and knew well, he’d become upset and accuse me of not caring about his feelings.
I was constantly reassured him that there was nothing to worry about, but it never seemed to make a difference. His jealousy started to control my every move and who I could spend time with. This behavior wasn’t just frustrating; it was downright toxic.
Unnecessary jealousy like this can indicate deep insecurity and a lack of trust. If you’re dealing with this kind of behavior, it’s important to address it and set boundaries. If the person can’t or won’t change, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
3) Lack of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It’s a critical aspect of any healthy relationship. But some men who are difficult to be with often lack this ability.
These men might struggle to express their feelings or might not know how to handle yours. They might dismiss your emotions as overreactions, or they might fail to show empathy when you’re going through a tough time.
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Interestingly, research suggests that people with high levels of narcissism often struggle with emotional intelligence. A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality found a negative correlation between narcissism and emotional understanding.
In other words, the higher someone’s level of narcissism, the lower their ability to understand and manage emotions – their own and those of others.
If you’re with someone who struggles with emotional intelligence, it’s like being in a relationship with someone who speaks a different language. The connection and understanding that should be there just aren’t. It’s a toxic behavior that can leave you feeling unheard and undervalued.
4) Control freak
Control can be a subtle form of toxicity that’s often overlooked until it’s too late. Men who are difficult to be with can often exhibit a strong need to control every aspect of the relationship.
This might manifest as them always choosing where to go for dinner, what movie to watch, or even dictating what you wear or who you can hang out with. They might constantly check up on you or make decisions on your behalf without consulting you first.
Being with a control freak can be mentally and emotionally draining. It can also rob you of your independence and self-worth over time. A relationship should be a partnership, not a dictatorship. If your partner doesn’t respect your autonomy and constantly undermines your decisions, it’s time to reassess the relationship.
5) Verbal abuse
This is a tough one to talk about, but it’s crucial to address. Verbal abuse is a toxic behavior that some difficult men use to maintain power and control in a relationship.
It’s not just about shouting or name-calling – verbal abuse can also be about constant criticism, belittling your achievements, or using manipulative language to make you doubt your own perceptions and feelings.
The effects of verbal abuse can be devastating. It can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling worthless, unloved, and isolated.
The saddest part is that many people don’t even realize they’re being verbally abused until they’re deeply entangled in the toxic web.
If you or someone you know is experiencing verbal abuse, please reach out. There are many resources and support groups available to help you navigate through this difficult situation. Remember, everyone deserves to be respected and loved in a relationship.
6) Emotional unavailability
It’s not uncommon to find emotional unavailability in men who are difficult to be with. It’s like being with someone who’s physically there, but emotionally distant. They might avoid deep conversations, ignore your feelings, or rarely express their own.
I remember a time when I was in a relationship with a man who hardly ever opened up. It felt like I was constantly trying to break through an impenetrable wall.
He would brush off my attempts to discuss our relationship, and he rarely shared anything about his own feelings. It was like living with a ghost.
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Emotional unavailability can leave you feeling alone, even when you’re in a relationship. It robs you of the connection and intimacy that healthy relationships thrive on.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to communicate your needs and see if things can change. If not, it might be time to rethink whether this is the right relationship for you.
7) Disrespecting boundaries
Everyone has boundaries – physical, emotional, and mental. They’re our personal rules and limits that help us protect ourselves. But men who are difficult to be with often have a habit of disrespecting these boundaries.
They might pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with, dismiss your feelings when you express discomfort, or invade your personal space without your consent. They might even use guilt-tripping or manipulation to get their way.
Disrespecting boundaries is a clear sign of a lack of respect for you as a person. It’s important to stand firm on your boundaries and communicate clearly when they’re being violated.
If the person continues to disrespect your boundaries, it’s a glaring sign of toxicity that shouldn’t be ignored.
8) Lack of accountability
Last but by no means least, a lack of accountability is a toxic trait often found in men who are difficult to be with. These men refuse to take responsibility for their actions, constantly shifting blame onto others, or making excuses for their behavior.
They may fail to apologize when they’ve hurt you or justify their actions in a way that makes you feel like you’re the one in the wrong. This lack of accountability can leave you feeling confused and guilty, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
Accountability is a cornerstone of any mature, healthy relationship. Without it, trust and respect can quickly erode. If you’re with someone who won’t take responsibility for their actions, remember that it’s not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of their character.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
At the core of all these toxic behaviors is a fundamental lack of respect. Respect for you as a person, for your feelings, your boundaries, and your individuality.
Renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman identified contempt, which is the ultimate form of disrespect, as the single biggest predictor of divorce. This goes to show the crucial role respect plays in any relationship.
Recognizing these toxic behaviors is the first step towards addressing them. It’s important to remember that change is possible, but only if the person acknowledges their behavior and is willing to put in the work.
However, if the toxic behaviors persist, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly serving you. After all, everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they feel valued, respected, and loved.
As you reflect on these points, remember that it’s not about blaming or vilifying anyone. It’s about understanding behaviors that can harm a relationship and taking steps to address them. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from toxicity.
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