There’s a significant distinction between having a good conversation and just talking about yourself.
The difference lies in understanding. If a person keeps steering the conversation towards certain topics, they might not have the best social skills.
These topics can sometimes create discomfort or even boredom in others. And wise folks understand that avoiding these topics is a key to smoother conversations.
Here’s a glimpse into some of those conversation topics that might indicate below-average social skills in someone.
So, let’s dive in and help you navigate your future conversations better.
1) Too much personal detail
There’s a thin line between sharing and oversharing in conversations.
And individuals with less refined social skills often don’t see where this line is drawn.
Excessively sharing personal details, especially in a casual or initial interaction, can make the other person uncomfortable. It’s like playing your entire hand in poker right at the start; it leaves nothing for the other person to discover.
Now, this doesn’t mean that personal stories should be entirely avoided in conversations. On the contrary, they can add a layer of authenticity and relatability. But discerning when and how much to share is something that those with good social skills have mastered.
So if you find someone habitually delving into intricate details about their personal life, chances are they’re not the best at social interactions.
Remember, a conversation requires a delicate balance of give-and-take. And oversharing disrupts that balance, often leading to one-sided or awkward interactions.
2) Constant one-upmanship
We’ve all been there, trapped in a conversation with someone who always needs to have the upper hand.
I remember a time when I was sharing my excitement about a recent vacation I took. I was enthusiastically talking about the beautiful locations and the fun activities, when this person I was talking to swiftly interjected, turning the conversation towards his own much grander vacation experiences.
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This constant need to outdo others’ experiences or achievements is a clear indication of below average social skills. Instead of engaging in a free-flowing conversation, they turn it into a competition, which can be quite off-putting.
Good social skills involve acknowledging others’ experiences and showing genuine interest, rather than constantly trying to overshadow them with your own. So if someone consistently tries to one-up your stories, it’s likely their social skills could use some polishing.
3) Incessant negativity
While it’s okay to vent once in a while, constant negativity can be a drain on any conversation.
Those with below-average social skills often fall into this trap, turning every topic towards the negative aspects. They focus on problems rather than solutions and dwell on failures rather than successes.
Did you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, individuals who frequently use negative language are perceived as less likable and more socially isolated?
So if you encounter someone who seems to be stuck in a loop of negativity, it’s a strong sign that they might need to work on their social skills. The art of positive conversation is crucial for building genuine connections with others.
4) Dominating the conversation
Having a conversation involves two or more people, but sometimes, you may come across individuals who forget this basic principle.
These are the people who monopolize the conversation, barely giving others a chance to get a word in. They seem oblivious to the fact that good communication is about listening just as much as it is about speaking.
Socially skilled individuals understand the importance of giving others an opportunity to express their thoughts and opinions. They ask questions, show interest, and create a balanced dialogue where everyone feels heard.
So, if you encounter someone who dominates every conversation they’re in, it’s a clear sign they lack some essential social skills. And remember, communication is not a monologue; it’s a dialogue.
5) Lack of empathy
Empathy is the heart of any meaningful conversation. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to step into their shoes, if only for a moment.
Unfortunately, some people struggle with this essential skill. They may bring up sensitive topics without considering how they might affect the other person. Or they could respond to someone’s troubles with indifference or even inappropriate humor.
Without empathy, a conversation can feel cold and disconnected. It’s like trying to enjoy a meal without any seasoning – bland and uninspiring.
So if you find someone persistently disregarding the feelings and experiences of others in their discussions, it’s likely they have below-average social skills. Remember, a little empathy can transform a conversation from a mundane exchange of words into a profound connection between human beings.
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6) Frequent interruptions
Imagine you’re pouring your heart out about something that’s been bothering you, only for the person you’re talking to keep interrupting with their own thoughts or experiences. It feels dismissive and can be quite hurtful.
I’ve experienced this myself, where I was sharing a deeply personal struggle, and the person I was talking to kept interjecting with their own stories, barely giving me a chance to finish my thoughts. It made me feel unheard and unimportant.
Interrupting someone consistently during a conversation is a sign of poor social skills. It communicates a lack of respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Good conversation etiquette involves active listening and responding at appropriate times, not constant interruptions.
7) Oversharing on social media
In today’s digital age, social skills extend beyond face-to-face interactions. They also encompass how we interact online, especially on social media platforms.
People with below-average social skills often overshare on social media. They post excessively about their daily activities, personal problems or controversial opinions. This can make others feel overwhelmed and often leads to them being unfollowed or muted.
7 unique things emotionally intelligent people do when they’re being gaslit, according to psychologySocially adept individuals understand the value of discretion online. They strike a balance between sharing meaningful content and maintaining some level of privacy. So, if someone is constantly oversharing on social media, it’s a good indicator that their social skills might need some work.
8) Using conversation as a therapy session
While it’s perfectly fine to share problems or seek advice from friends, treating every conversation as a personal therapy session is a different story.
People with below-average social skills often disregard the emotional boundaries of a conversation. They unload their problems on others without considering if the other person is comfortable or even equipped to handle it.
Remember, the most important thing in any conversation is mutual respect and understanding. Conversations are meant to be an exchange, not a one-way street of emotional baggage. It’s okay to share, but it’s also crucial to listen and empathize. It’s about creating a balanced dialogue that leaves both parties feeling heard and valued.
Wrapping up: It’s a skill, not a trait
The beauty of social skills is that they’re not set in stone. They can be learned, practiced, and improved over time.
It’s important to remember that having below-average social skills isn’t a character flaw, but rather an area of growth. Often, people might not even realize that their conversation habits are off-putting to others.
The philosopher Socrates once said, “Know thyself.” In the context of social skills, this means recognizing your conversational habits, understanding how they might affect others, and making a conscious effort to improve.
So if you find yourself or someone else falling into these conversational traps, it’s not the end of the world. With awareness, understanding, and practice, anyone can enhance their social skills and become a more engaging conversationalist.
After all, at the heart of every great conversation is a genuine connection between individuals. And with improved social skills, we can all contribute to creating more of these meaningful connections.
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