Breakups have a way of turning our world upside down.
One moment, everything feels stable and familiar; the next, you’re navigating a storm of emotions, uncertainty, and loss.
Healing from heartbreak can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be an endless battle of tears and self-doubt.
The truth is, healing isn’t about “moving on” as quickly as possible or pretending you’re unaffected.
It’s about giving yourself the time and tools to process what’s happened, reflect on what you’ve learned, and rebuild a version of yourself that feels whole again.
It’s about finding ways to let go of the hurt while embracing the possibilities that lie ahead.
This process doesn’t need to be complicated or daunting. Sometimes, the simplest shifts in mindset or behavior can lead to profound healing.
Whether it’s learning how to protect your emotional energy, recognizing the power of self-reflection, or creating healthier boundaries, every small step can lead to big changes.
If your heart is aching right now, know this: you are stronger than you realize, and the path to healing is closer than you think.
Let’s explore ways to help you reclaim your joy, find peace, and come out of this chapter more resilient than ever.
1. Be Mindful of Social Media
Many of my people, when going through a breakup, find themselves endlessly scrolling through social media, trying to make sense of what happened.
They dive into TikTok, Instagram, or whatever platform they prefer, seeking answers—why the breakup occurred, or justification for their decision to end things.
The problem is, there’s so much information available that it’s easy to get lost in it.
I will advise you to give yourself a week to indulge in this social media deep dive. After that, it’s time to stop.
Why? Because focusing too much on the past will only amplify the anxiety you’re already feeling.
You might find yourself obsessing over every detail, discussing it with strangers, or comparing yourself to someone far removed from your reality. This will only keep you stuck.
After that week, shift your focus. Dive into content that helps you move forward and start building the life you want.
There’s plenty of motivational and supportive material out there to guide you on this path.
Research has shown that positive support is what truly aids in recovery after a breakup.
So, be cautious with your social media habits—you’ll thank yourself later.
2. Maintain No Contact and No Stalking
This is crucial—perhaps the most important step. You must cut off all contact with your ex and resist the urge to stalk them in any way.
I know how tempting it is to have “one more talk” for closure, or to accept their request for a final conversation. But interacting with your ex will only deepen your pain.
Closure is often just an excuse to reconnect in the hope that things will turn out differently.
Equally tempting is the urge to check up on your ex online, to see how they’re doing, whether they’re happy, or if they’ve moved on. Resist this at all costs.
You don’t need to see how your ex is doing—they’re your ex for a reason.
Remember, no one posts their bad moments on social media. All you’ll see is your ex seemingly thriving, and that will only make you feel worse.
It is advised you block your ex on your phone and social media. This prevents any slip-ups and keeps you from falling back into old patterns.
I know it’s hard, but cutting off contact is essential for your healing process.
3. Reflect on Past Breakups
Think back to previous breakups you’ve experienced. Did they hurt just as much as this one? The pain might seem less intense in hindsight, but I promise it was just as real.
Our minds have a way of softening past pain—otherwise, it would be too difficult to live fully.
But remember, you’ve gone through heartbreak before and emerged on the other side. You will get through this breakup too.
There’s always someone on the other side of a breakup, even if you can’t see it now.
Trust that this pain will eventually pass, just as it has before.
4. Surround Yourself with Loved Ones
After a breakup, many people withdraw, isolating themselves with Netflix and comfort food.
While it’s okay to do this for a short time, it’s important to reconnect with those who love you sooner rather than later.
Spending time with people who care about you is exactly what you need right now.
They’ll remind you of your worth, make you laugh, and help you get through this tough time—just as they have in the past.
You know who these people are, so reach out to them. Let them be your support system as you navigate this difficult period.
5. Set a New Goal for Yourself
I remember going through a particularly tough breakup—one that left me feeling utterly defeated.
But after some time, I decided I needed to reclaim my life and I set two big goals
These goals gave me something to focus on besides the pain. They kept me busy, rewired my brain, and helped me see life from a new perspective.
And when I achieved them, I felt incredible. I knew I wouldn’t have done those things if I had stayed in that toxic relationship.
I realized I could accomplish anything, even on my own.
Setting a goal for yourself, no matter how big or small, can be a powerful way to move forward.
It gives you a sense of purpose and reminds you of your strength.
6. Don’t Play the Victim
It’s easy to fall into a victim mindset after a breakup, believing you did nothing wrong and that your ex was entirely to blame.
While your ex might have been toxic, it’s important to recognize that both parties contribute to the dynamics of a relationship.
Yes, your partner might have treated you poorly. But did you allow it to continue for longer than you should have?
Were you afraid to speak up for yourself? Did you ignore red flags, hoping things would improve?
There’s no judgment here—we’ve all been there.
The key is to take responsibility for your part in the breakup and to commit to doing things differently next time.
This self-awareness will help you manage your anxiety and move forward more effectively.
7. Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of yourself might seem like an obvious step, but it’s often the hardest one to follow through on after a breakup.
I know that the lure of Netflix and ice cream is strong, but neglecting your health will only prolong your restlessness and anxiety.
Spend a week or so mourning the end of the relationship, if you need to. But then, get up and start taking care of yourself.
Go for a walk, ride your bike, eat nutritious food, and get enough sleep.
Whatever activities help you feel better—do them.
Conclusion
Managing your anxiety and restlessness after a breakup may feel impossible at times.
Studies on attachment and breakups show that anxiety is especially difficult to handle when paired with a broken heart.
But with some effort and self-awareness, you can get through this.
Remember, this painful period will pass. It may take time, but every day without contact with your ex brings you closer to healing.
The way you’re feeling now is not how you’ll feel forever. Stay strong—you’ve got this.
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