I used to think that “being successful” simply meant ticking off every box on an imaginary checklist: a thriving career, a picture-perfect home, and a status that quietly commanded admiration from others.
I was fueled by the idea that climbing higher would automatically make me happier. But after a series of restless nights and a gnawing emptiness that wouldn’t go away, I realized something wasn’t adding up.
I was chasing the kind of success that looked dazzling on the surface but felt hollow underneath.
That realization sparked a major shift in how I approach my goals and day-to-day life. Instead of focusing on what everyone else might call “success,” I began to explore what gave my life meaning on a personal level.
And let me tell you—this subtle switch completely rewrote my definition of happiness.
Where “success” fell short
I don’t know about you, but for most of my twenties, I was hooked on the idea of achieving conventional success. I set high standards, made rigorous to-do lists, and measured my self-worth by how well I checked those boxes.
It seemed logical at first—I grew up hearing phrases like “If you work hard, you’ll be happy,” or “Success is the path to a fulfilling life.”
That’s all well and good, but eventually, my enthusiasm turned into a relentless obsession. Work projects became my sole focus, and I neglected my friendships and even my own well-being.
Over time, I noticed subtle warning signs. I’d catch myself dreading Monday mornings, not because the job was uninteresting, but because I felt so disconnected from who I truly was.
Weekends provided a short respite, but Sundays brought a familiar knot in my stomach, reminding me of a bigger question: Was I actually doing what I wanted with my life?
That persistent question was my wake-up call. It wasn’t that I despised my job or wanted to abandon my ambitions entirely.
Rather, I began to realize that chasing accolades and external approval wasn’t giving me the lasting sense of fulfillment I’d expected. It felt as though I was pouring energy into a vacuum, never feeling quite “done.”
And no matter how many milestones I reached, there always seemed to be another, even bigger one looming on the horizon. That moving target turned “success” into a treadmill I couldn’t get off.
One night, I found myself alone with my thoughts after another marathon workday. I remember thinking, “If I’m doing everything ‘right,’ why do I feel so lost?”
That moment of honesty revealed an uncomfortable truth: I had allowed other people’s definitions of success to overshadow my own values.
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There was nothing inherently wrong with having ambitious goals, but I craved something richer and more emotionally nourishing. I was missing a deeper sense of purpose.
Embracing inner meaning
Transitioning from a success-focused mindset to a meaning-focused one didn’t happen overnight. It required a willingness to look within and ask some tough questions.
What truly mattered to me, beyond job titles and paychecks? Which aspects of life fed my soul rather than just my ego?
I started small, carving out time for activities that made me feel alive. I’d go for early morning walks in the park, letting the crisp air clear my head. I’d listen to my favorite playlists, the kind that instantly lifts my spirits.
And in these quiet moments, I realized I was happiest when I allowed myself space to breathe, reflect, and connect. Success, in the conventional sense, rarely gave me that feeling of spiritual richness.
It was around this time I got curious about whether I held onto any limiting beliefs that were pushing me to keep chasing an external idea of success.
That curiosity led me to Free Your Mind masterclass by Rudá Iandê. While I didn’t exactly doubt my talents, something inside me wondered if there was an internal narrative telling me I had to keep proving myself.
The masterclass offered insights into how we often cling to patterns that no longer serve us—patterns we might not even be aware of.
Working through the exercises in Rudá Iandê’s course gave me language for what I was experiencing. I realized I’d been running on a script that equated success with worthiness, and it had shaped so many of my decisions.
Recognizing it was liberating. I began to replace that script with a gentler internal voice, one that asked me what felt meaningful to me, not what looked impressive on a résumé.
It was a subtle shift, but it felt as though I’d opened a door to a more authentic version of myself.
Defining happiness on my own terms
Once I made the decision to chase meaning over success, my whole perspective changed.
Rather than measuring my life by accolades, I started tuning in to moments that sparked a sense of purpose.
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And let me tell you, those moments aren’t always big, headline-worthy events.
For me, they often show up in everyday situations—like bonding with a close friend over coffee or dedicating time to journaling, where I can reflect on my thoughts and emotions without feeling judged.
Embracing meaning meant understanding that life is nuanced and that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to fulfillment.
For instance, I still strive to excel in my work—I love writing and sharing insights with others—but I no longer see it as the sole gateway to my self-esteem. I value quality time with people I care about and opportunities for personal growth just as much as I value hitting a professional milestone.
I also gave myself permission to explore new avenues, stepping outside the comfort zone that once kept me tethered to a rigid idea of “success.”
If I want to spend a weekend trying out a pottery class or reading about new mindfulness techniques, I do it—without justifying it to anyone. These small moments of exploratory joy add depth to my life, reminding me that happiness is largely about aligning with what resonates on a personal level.
What I discovered is that meaning tends to arise in places we least expect when we finally create space for it. Sometimes it’s a spontaneous conversation with a stranger, other times it’s an idea that pops into your head during a quiet moment of reflection.
But it never appears if we’re so busy racing after the next shiny thing that we can’t pause long enough to notice the subtle wonders around us.
How to foster a more meaningful life
There are many ways to integrate meaning into your daily experiences, but in my own journey, I’ve found that it helps to clarify what truly matters to you and then create space for those values to come alive in practical ways.
One of the most powerful steps is taking time to reflect on your core principles and passions. Being honest with yourself about what really drives you lets you shift your attention away from superficial targets and toward what resonates with your deepest sense of self.
It’s also important to extend yourself a little compassion along the way. Breaking out of a success-obsessed mindset can sometimes feel like a loss of identity, especially if you’ve defined yourself by achievements for a long time.
Giving yourself permission to explore new ideas, to fail, or even to rest without guilt is a big part of creating a life that feels meaningful.
In my own experience, I learned that it’s fine to be a high achiever while still carving out time for personal fulfillment and growth.
Balancing these two things can be tricky, but it becomes more intuitive once you accept that self-worth isn’t tied solely to external accolades.
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Equally helpful is taking inventory of your current goals and commitments.
Every now and then, I like to pause and ask whether the projects I’m devoting my time to still reflect what I care about today.
It’s amazing how life circumstances and personal values can shift over just a few months or years. If a goal no longer resonates with who you’ve become, there’s nothing wrong with redirecting your energy.
In fact, that sense of alignment often sparks renewed enthusiasm and a more genuine sense of purpose.
Staying open and curious can lead to discoveries you never expected. Whenever something sparks even a hint of excitement—a new book, a conversation with an inspiring person, a random idea—it could be a clue to deeper meaning.
Exploring those small sparks, without worrying about where they’ll lead, fosters a sense of wonder that goes hand in hand with genuine contentment.
Conclusion
Looking back, I’m grateful for the experiences that jolted me out of my “success-at-all-costs” mentality.
While there’s nothing wrong with having big dreams and working hard, I’ve learned that meaning is the lifeblood of lasting happiness.
When we create space for what resonates deep within us—be it self-expression, learning, connections, or any personal passion—we discover a source of energy and fulfillment that trophies and titles can’t match.
No matter where you are on your journey, know that it’s possible to redefine “happiness” to reflect your true self. You don’t have to settle for chasing an ever-moving finish line.
By tuning into what genuinely matters, you can find a sense of purpose that enriches your day-to-day life and adds a whole new dimension to your dreams.
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