Meeting someone for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience.
Whether it’s a business meeting, a social event, or a casual encounter, the way we greet each other can make a significant impact on how the interaction progresses.
A simple greeting can set the tone for the entire conversation, and sometimes, without even realizing it, we use phrases that make others feel uncomfortable.
In this post, we’ll take a deep dive into ten common greetings that, despite their seeming innocence, can instantly turn people off.
1) “You Look Different in Person”
One of the most common and unintended ways to make a poor first impression is by saying, “You look different in person.”
It’s a phrase you might think is a harmless observation, but it can carry negative undertones.
Essentially, it suggests that your mental image of the person was less favorable than their real-life appearance, and this can make anyone feel self-conscious.
Whether you’re meeting someone for a business meeting or a personal encounter, the person may start wondering what you were expecting and why they don’t match up to your expectations.
For example, imagine meeting someone after connecting online. You’ve seen their pictures, and now you’re face-to-face.
Saying “You look different” can be construed as implying that they didn’t live up to the expectations set by their photos.
While it’s possible that your intention was to compliment them, it’s much better to focus on neutral topics.
Compliment their outfit, or if you’re unsure, discuss something light like the weather.
Choosing words carefully is a simple, yet impactful way to ensure that your first interaction doesn’t make the other person feel uncomfortable or judged.
Remember, keeping things positive and neutral is key.
2) “Long Time No See”
“Long time no see” is another popular phrase, but it doesn’t always hit the right note when you meet someone after a long period apart.
On the surface, it seems like a casual and friendly way to reconnect, but it can actually imply that the other person hasn’t made the effort to stay in touch, which might not be the case at all.
Let’s think about this for a moment: when you greet someone with “Long time no see,” it can give the impression that you feel a bit resentful or annoyed that you haven’t seen them sooner.
In reality, both of you may have just been busy, and nothing personal should be read into the time lapse.
I recall a time when I ran into an old friend at a party, and without thinking, I blurted out “Long time no see!”
The reaction on their face wasn’t one of joy, but rather one of slight annoyance.
It only hit me later that I had unknowingly implied blame for the gap in our communication.
The lesson here is simple: always try to be mindful of the phrasing you choose.
A better alternative could be simply saying, “It’s great to see you again,” or just, “Hey, it’s been a while!”
It’s more neutral and doesn’t carry any implied judgment.
3) “You Look Tired”
While this might seem like a harmless observation, telling someone they look tired can have unintended consequences.
It’s not always received the way you might think.
In fact, it’s often a comment that makes people feel judged or self-conscious about their appearance.
In certain cultures, like in South Korea, mentioning that someone looks tired is considered a major social faux pas.
It’s viewed as impolite and a direct commentary on someone’s appearance that can be hurtful.
Even if your intention is to express concern, the wording could suggest that they don’t look their best.
Instead of commenting on someone’s tiredness, try engaging them in a more meaningful way.
A simple “How’s your day going?” or “How have you been?” shows genuine interest without bringing up potentially uncomfortable topics.
After all, there are much more positive ways to express concern than focusing on someone’s appearance.
4) “What’s Up With Your Hair?”
Another phrase to avoid when you first meet someone is anything related to their hair.
Asking “What’s up with your hair?” might seem like an innocent question, but it can easily come across as judgmental or critical.
For instance, what if they’ve just had a bad hair day or tried out a new hairstyle that they’re not entirely confident about?
By commenting on it, you may unintentionally make them feel self-conscious, as if their appearance is being scrutinized.
Instead, focus on neutral topics like common interests, the environment around you, or recent events.
People generally feel more at ease when their physical appearance isn’t the focal point of the conversation, especially when they’re meeting you for the first time.
5) “You’re So Much Shorter/Taller in Person!”
Height is another personal trait that many people are sensitive about.
While some might not mind it, others could feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about comments on their height, especially if it’s different from what you expected.
I’ve personally found that mentioning someone’s height right after meeting them can make things awkward.
It draws attention to something that the person may not have control over and might not want to highlight.
Instead of focusing on someone’s physical appearance, why not compliment their clothing, or ask them about something unrelated to their body?
The goal when meeting someone new should always be to make them feel comfortable.
Focus on qualities that don’t draw attention to something they might feel insecure about.
6) “Hey, You!”
While this greeting might feel casual and laid-back, it can also come across as impersonal and dismissive.
“Hey, you!” could give the impression that the person isn’t important enough for you to remember their name, which can make them feel undervalued.
I remember a time when someone greeted me this way, and it instantly left me feeling like I wasn’t being taken seriously.
I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it, but something as simple as remembering my name would have made me feel more respected.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time, take the time to learn and use their name.
It shows that you value the interaction and are genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Trust me, that little effort goes a long way in making the other person feel good about themselves and the interaction.
7) “Wow, You’ve Gained/Lost Weight!”
Commenting on someone’s weight when you meet them can be incredibly uncomfortable.
Weight is a sensitive topic for many people, and making a remark about someone’s weight – whether they’ve gained or lost it – can come off as rude, even if it’s meant as a compliment.
I’ll never forget a family gathering where a relative greeted me with, “Wow, you’ve put on weight!”
Despite the fact that they might have thought it was just an observation, it made me feel incredibly self-conscious.
Instead of feeling welcomed, I felt judged and uncomfortable.
If you want to avoid making anyone feel uneasy, steer clear of making comments about their appearance, especially about their body.
Instead, focus on more neutral or positive topics, like asking about their recent experiences or interests.
8) “Nice to Meet You”
“Nice to meet you” is probably one of the most common greetings out there, but it can sometimes feel insincere.
When said without enthusiasm or genuine eye contact, it can make the other person feel like they’re just another face in the crowd.
I’ve been on both sides of this greeting – when I’ve said it without much thought, and when someone has said it to me.
And in both cases, it can feel like a formal, robotic exchange rather than a warm and welcoming start to a conversation.
To avoid this, try offering a greeting with more warmth, like, “It’s great to meet you!” or “I’ve heard so much about you!”
These alternatives feel more genuine and can help establish a more meaningful connection right from the start.
9) “What Do You Do?”
One of the most common questions when meeting someone is “What do you do?” But this question can often come off as prying or materialistic, especially if it’s asked right away.
The question places value on someone’s job and can imply that your interest in them is based on their profession rather than who they are as a person.
Instead of immediately asking someone about their job, try to engage them with questions about their hobbies, interests, or recent experiences.
This shows that you value them as an individual and not just for their role in the workforce.
This subtle change can help you establish a deeper connection with someone, rather than reducing them to a job title or occupation.
10) “How Are You?”
“How are you?” is the most basic greeting, but it can be surprisingly ineffective when trying to build a connection.
More often than not, this question elicits a generic response like “I’m good, thanks,” which doesn’t really lead to any meaningful conversation.
Instead of asking a simple “How are you?” try to engage the other person with more open-ended questions.
Asking something like, “What’s been the highlight of your week?” or “What brings you here today?” can open the door to a more engaging and interesting conversation.
When you show genuine curiosity about the other person’s life, you not only make them feel heard, but you also create an opportunity for a much richer dialogue.
Final Thoughts
The words we choose when meeting someone can reveal a lot about us, often more than we realize.
As social beings, we’re tuned to pick up on subtle nuances in the way people communicate.
Whether it’s the tone of our voice, the topics we bring up, or even the way we phrase our greetings, these interactions say a lot about how we perceive others.
So, the next time you greet someone, think about the impact your words will have.
It’s not just about saying “hello” – it’s about showing respect, making the other person feel valued, and setting the stage for a positive connection.
Remember, as Maya Angelou wisely said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Your first words can shape the way someone remembers you, so choose them wisely.
if you found this article helpful, kindly share it with your loved ones. it encourage me to write more. And before You leave, check out the recommended reading below, am sure you will find something that will interest you. THANKS
