8 Behaviors to Say Goodbye If You Want to Improve Your Social Skills as You Get Older

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As we age, something subtle happens in the way we interact with the world. The experiences and lessons we’ve accumulated over the years shape us, but they can also limit us in unexpected ways.

We’ve all been there — stuck in a conversation that feels like a dead end or an interaction that leaves us wondering why things just didn’t click.

It’s easy to think that as we get older, we should naturally get better at handling social situations, but sometimes the very habits we’ve developed over time can be the barriers to our growth.

If you’re like many, you might have perfected your social skills over the years, but there’s always room for improvement.

It’s never too late to refine the way you connect with others. By letting go of certain outdated behaviors, you can unlock deeper, more meaningful connections — ones that truly reflect the wisdom you’ve gained.

In this post, we’re diving into eight behaviors that can stand in the way of improving your social skills as you age.

Some of them are subtle, others more obvious, but all of them are worth acknowledging and letting go of if you’re serious about building better relationships. 

Ready to enhance your social interactions? Let’s start by saying goodbye to these eight habits.

1) Insisting on Being Right

As we grow older, it’s natural to accumulate knowledge and experience. Our lives become rich with lessons learned, mistakes made, and insights gained.

This process can foster a deep sense of confidence in our own understanding of the world.

But while this is a strength, it can sometimes morph into a stubborn insistence on being right, especially in conversations where we feel our knowledge is underappreciated. 

We’ve all experienced those moments — perhaps you’ve been in a conversation with someone who stubbornly clings to their opinion, refusing to entertain another perspective.

It’s not only frustrating for the other person, but it also erodes the potential for meaningful dialogue. When we insist on being right, we close ourselves off to learning from others. 

Conversations should never be a battle to prove who’s smarter or more knowledgeable. Instead, they should be an opportunity for both parties to grow, exchange ideas, and deepen mutual understanding.

Imagine for a moment that you were to approach every conversation with an open mind, focusing not on proving your point, but on truly listening to and learning from others. 

How much richer would your relationships be? How much more connected would you feel to those around you?

Embracing the humility to be wrong, or simply not always needing to be right, is one of the keys to improving social interactions as we age.

By doing so, you foster an environment of respect and curiosity rather than competition.

2) Dominating Conversations

If you’re someone who enjoys talking — sharing stories, exchanging ideas, and engaging in vibrant discussions — you’re not alone. I’ve always been a talker myself. 

There’s something exhilarating about expressing your thoughts and opinions.

But, over the years, I’ve realized that being a good conversationalist isn’t just about how well you can talk, but also about how well you can listen. 

I recall a networking event early in my career where I was so eager to showcase my work that I found myself speaking non-stop about it, barely pausing to let the other person share their thoughts.

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It wasn’t until after the conversation ended that I realized I had learned nothing about them. More importantly, I had missed an opportunity to create a deeper connection. 

That moment served as a wake-up call — dominating a conversation makes others feel unseen and unimportant, which can create an invisible wall between you and your conversation partner.

Think about the conversations you’ve had recently. Have you been the one talking most of the time? Have you really listened to the other person?

Dominating a conversation may seem harmless, but it can seriously undermine your social skills. Instead, aim for balance.

A truly engaging conversation is a two-way street. Show genuine interest in what others have to say, ask thoughtful questions, and give them the space to express themselves. 

This not only makes others feel valued, but it also opens the door for deeper connections and more enriching exchanges.

3) Holding onto a Huge Ego

As we get older, we often develop a stronger sense of self. This can be empowering, but it can also present a significant challenge in social settings if we allow our ego to take control.

A bloated ego can lead to arrogance, self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy — all of which can hinder our ability to relate to others. 

At some point in life, we’ve probably all been guilty of letting our ego run the show.

Maybe it was that time you dismissed someone’s opinion because it didn’t align with your own, or perhaps you put someone down in a subtle way to make yourself feel superior.

While this might feel momentarily satisfying, it damages your relationships and your ability to grow.

The antidote to an inflated ego is humility. Rather than seeing others as competition or threats to your sense of self, view them as equals who have just as much to offer.

It’s about learning to listen and understand as much as you speak and assert your own views. 

A humble approach fosters trust, respect, and openness — qualities that are crucial in building meaningful social bonds.

By letting go of a huge ego, you create space for empathy, collaboration, and real connection.

4) Avoiding Eye Contact

We’ve all heard that “eyes are the window to the soul,” but there’s much truth to this simple saying, especially in social interactions.

Eye contact plays a crucial role in effective communication. It signals attentiveness, interest, and trust, making conversations more engaging and meaningful.

However, as we age, maintaining eye contact can sometimes feel uncomfortable, whether due to changes in our personal comfort levels, cultural habits, or simply because we’ve gotten used to avoiding it in certain situations. 

The reality, though, is that avoiding eye contact — even subconsciously — can send the wrong message. It can make the other person feel unimportant, dismissed, or ignored.

Imagine sitting across from someone in a conversation who keeps looking around the room or at their phone, rather than making genuine eye contact.

It’s not just distracting; it creates a sense of emotional distance, making it harder to establish trust or connection.

So, how do we improve our social skills here? The solution is simple yet powerful: work on consciously maintaining an appropriate level of eye contact.

This doesn’t mean staring someone down — that could be just as uncomfortable as avoiding it entirely — but instead, it’s about engaging with the other person through your eyes.

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It shows that you’re present, listening, and invested in the conversation. Small but significant changes like this can transform your interactions, making them feel more connected and authentic.

5) Always Avoiding Conflict

It’s natural to want peace in our relationships. We all want harmony and to avoid uncomfortable situations.

However, as we age, we may develop a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs, thinking that it will make life easier or relationships smoother. But here’s the paradox: avoiding conflict actually undermines both. 

You might think that dodging difficult conversations will prevent awkwardness or tension, but it often results in unresolved issues that fester over time.

Resentment can build, misunderstandings can grow, and, eventually, the relationship can deteriorate. Avoiding conflict may feel like the safe option, but in reality, it creates more harm than good.

Conflict, when handled respectfully and constructively, is a necessary part of any meaningful relationship.

It’s not about fighting, but about addressing concerns, expressing your feelings, and finding common ground.

Whether it’s a small disagreement or a more serious issue, learning to engage with conflict head-on — without fear or defensiveness — allows for greater emotional intimacy and trust.

By facing conflict openly, we show that we value the relationship enough to work through challenges together.

Instead of avoiding tough conversations, learn how to navigate them with honesty and respect.

This doesn’t mean picking fights or being confrontational. Instead, it’s about communicating your thoughts and feelings calmly, clearly, and with an open mind. 

6) Being Passive-Aggressive

Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the most damaging communication habits, yet it’s something many people resort to, particularly as they age.

It may feel like an easy way to express frustration without direct confrontation, but in reality, passive-aggressiveness only breeds confusion, resentment, and a lack of trust.

It’s the person who says “I’m fine” but clearly isn’t, or who makes sarcastic remarks instead of voicing their true feelings.

This indirect way of expressing discontent might seem to keep the peace in the short term, but it rarely leads to resolution. Instead, it often results in misunderstandings, unresolved emotions, and a breakdown in communication.

Passive-aggressive behavior can also make you appear manipulative or dishonest, which can strain relationships and hinder personal growth.

So, how do you break the cycle? The key is to communicate directly and assertively, but always with kindness and respect. Express your thoughts and emotions openly, without hiding behind sarcasm or indirect messages. 

By doing so, you create an environment of transparency and trust where both parties feel heard and understood.

Clear, honest communication not only strengthens your social skills but also deepens your relationships in a meaningful way.

7) Taking Things Personally

This is a big one. As we grow older, we often become more sensitive to the way others interact with us.

A passing comment, a delayed response, or a disagreement can feel like a personal attack, and it’s easy to internalize those moments as a reflection of our worth.

The truth is, most of the time, people’s actions or words are more about their own thoughts, emotions, and situations than about you.

Taking things personally can prevent you from seeing situations objectively. It clouds your judgment and stops you from learning and growing from experiences.

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For example, if someone doesn’t respond to your message right away, it might have nothing to do with you — they could simply be busy or dealing with their own challenges. 

Yet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming it reflects negatively on you.

To improve your social skills, try to step back and gain perspective. When something bothers you, take a moment to consider the situation from the other person’s point of view.

Understand that not everything is about you, and that everyone has their own battles.

This shift in mindset will allow you to let go of unnecessary stress and approach interactions with more calm, understanding, and clarity.

8) Neglecting Self-Care

At first glance, self-care might not seem like something that impacts your social life directly.

After all, taking time to rest, exercise, or enjoy a hobby may not immediately seem related to your conversations with others. 

However, neglecting your physical and emotional well-being can seriously affect how you interact socially. 

When you’re physically drained, stressed, or emotionally worn out, it becomes much harder to engage with others in a meaningful way.

You might feel irritable, disengaged, or simply lack the energy needed for healthy social interactions.

As experts like those at Psych Central point out, a lack of self-care can lead to low energy, impatience, and even a reluctance to engage in social activities altogether.

To truly thrive socially, it’s important to prioritize self-care. Taking care of your mind and body doesn’t just benefit you; it also makes you more present and patient in your interactions with others.

When you’re well-rested, mentally clear, and emotionally balanced, you’ll find that socializing becomes a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

Conclusion

Improving your social skills as you age doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your personality, but rather an intentional shift in your behavior.

Letting go of old habits like insisting on being right, avoiding conflict, or clinging to a bloated ego can create more space for authentic connections, empathy, and understanding.

By working on small but powerful changes — from maintaining eye contact to prioritizing self-care — you’ll not only enhance your ability to engage with others but also deepen the quality of your relationships.

Social growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.

The older we get, the more opportunity we have to refine our social skills, embrace new ways of connecting, and build relationships that are grounded in mutual respect, understanding, and care.

So, take a moment to reflect on these behaviors, make the necessary adjustments, and watch as your social interactions become more meaningful than ever before.

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