There’s quite a gap between baby boomers and younger generations, and it’s not just age. It often comes down to behavior.
Psychology tells us that some actions can make boomers come across as self-focused to millennials and gen Z.
It’s not about painting an entire generation with a broad brush, but rather about understanding the nuances that create perceptions.
In this article, we’re diving into seven behaviors that may make boomers seem self-absorbed to their younger counterparts.
Not to blame or shame, but to shed light and foster understanding across the generational divide.
So stick around, you might be surprised by what psychology has to say.
1) Communication gap
Let’s kick things off with the communication gap. It’s no secret that different generations have different ways of expressing themselves, and this can lead to misunderstandings.
In the words of esteemed psychologist Carl Jung, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”
Younger generations often interpret the boomer’s way of communicating as self-absorbed, especially when it seems to disregard their perspectives.
Boomers often grew up in an era where authority was rarely questioned, and this can translate into a habit of asserting their views without seeking to understand the other side.
This one-way street in conversation can seem dismissive to millennials and gen Z, who value open dialogue and mutual understanding.
But remember, it’s not about pointing fingers—it’s about bridging the generational gap through understanding and empathy.
2) Resistance to technological advancements
Next up: technology. I’ll be honest here, this one hits close to home for me.
I remember trying to explain to my boomer parents how to use a smartphone. It was a frustrating experience, not because they couldn’t understand it, but because they didn’t want to.
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There’s a quote by renowned psychologist Albert Bandura that goes, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”
Technology is one of those obstacles for many boomers. And their resistance to embrace technology can seem like a lack of interest in the world that younger generations inhabit, which can come off as self-absorption.
But it’s essential to remember that change can be challenging, especially when it feels like it’s happening at lightning speed.
3) Inflexibility towards societal changes
Are societal norms static or dynamic?
Dr. Philip Zimbardo, famous for his Stanford Prison Experiment, once said, “Situational variables can exert powerful influences over human behavior, more so that we recognize or acknowledge.”
Boomers grew up in a very different social landscape, where norms and values were quite different from the fluid societal structures we see today.
This can often lead to a rigid stance on various social issues, from gender equality to racial justice.
The refusal to adapt to these changes, or even acknowledge them, can come across as self-absorbed to younger generations who are often at the forefront of advocating for these shifts.
But let’s be honest here: change is hard. And it’s even harder when it feels like the world around you is moving too fast.
That being said, empathy and understanding from both sides can go a long way in bridging this generational divide.
4) The ‘good old days’ syndrome
We’ve all heard the phrase “Back in my day…” from a boomer at some point. It’s a classic sign of what psychologists call ‘rosy retrospection’ – the tendency to view the past more positively than the present.
A study conducted by the University of Southampton found that nostalgia can make us happier and boost our self-esteem. However, when boomers continually hark back to their ‘good old days,’ it can appear dismissive of the challenges and experiences of younger generations, creating a perception of self-absorption.
While it’s great to cherish past memories, it’s also important to stay connected with the present and attentive to the experiences of others around us.
5) ‘One size fits all’ advice
Here’s a personal confession: I used to roll my eyes every time my boomer aunt would offer her unsolicited advice, irrespective of whether it was related to career choices or personal relationships.
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Famed psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth.”
While boomer advice usually comes from a place of care and concern, its lack of consideration for the individuality and unique circumstances of younger generations can come across as self-absorbed.
Younger generations value authenticity and individuality, and a ‘one size fits all’ approach can be perceived as dismissive.
It’s always good to remember that the path to success and happiness isn’t the same for everyone. Advice should be tailored, not templated.
6) The self-reliance paradox
Here’s something you might not expect: the boomer emphasis on self-reliance can often be perceived as self-absorption.
Boomers are often known for their ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ mentality. But this can sometimes appear as a lack of empathy for the different challenges faced by younger generations in today’s complex world.
Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
This rings true here. Boomers’ drive for self-reliance isn’t a bad thing.
However, acknowledging that the world has changed, and that younger generations face unique challenges, can go a long way in closing the generational empathy gap.
7) The ‘been there, done that’ attitude
Finally, the ‘been there, done that’ attitude of boomers can be off-putting to younger generations.
As psychologist Erik Erikson put it, “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.”
While boomers have a wealth of experience, an open-minded approach towards learning from younger generations can foster mutual respect and understanding.
After all, we’re all in this together.
Final reflections
Navigating the waters of intergenerational relationships can be tricky. The key lies in understanding and empathy from both sides.
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These seven behaviors aren’t meant to stereotype or stigmatize an entire generation. Rather, they serve as a lens through which younger generations might view boomers, and vice versa.
Realizing these perceptions exist is the first step in bridging the generational gap. Because at the end of the day, we’re all products of our time, molded by different societal norms and experiences.
Let’s remember, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about coming together, learning from each other, and fostering mutual respect and understanding.
After all, isn’t that what being human is all about?
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