People Who Grew Up With Controlling And Overly Strict Parents Often Develop These 8 Lifelong Traits

When your mom yells at you to clean your room, it’s evident she’s annoyed. When your dad demands you become a doctor, it’s clear he has high expectations.

That’s basic parent-child communication.

Yet, the influence of controlling and overly strict parents isn’t always so straightforward. Indeed, it often leaves long-lasting traits that shape an individual’s life and personality.

Some of us bear these traits more prominently than others, and that comes down to having experienced these 8 common factors.

Let’s dive into how such an upbringing can shape one’s outlook on life, mindfulness, and personal growth.

1) Perfectionism becomes second nature

Growing up with strict parents is like living under a lens of scrutiny.

Every action, every decision, and every mistake is critically evaluated. Fall short of the mark? You’re in for a lecture. This kind of upbringing often leads to an intense drive for perfection.

But it’s not always about topping the class or being the best at everything. Instead, it’s about the fear of making mistakes and the constant pressure to meet high expectations. A misplaced book or a slightly imperfect grade could trigger a wave of anxiety.

And so, people who grow up in such environments often develop a habit of perfectionism. They strive for flawless execution in everything they do, from their career to personal relationships.

It’s not just about being the best. It’s about avoiding the discomfort and anxiety that comes with falling short.

Over time, this can lead to an obsession with control and a fear of failure that permeates every aspect of their lives.

It’s a tough way to live, but when you’re used to constantly being under scrutiny, it’s hard to shake off the habit.

Interesting, isn’t it?

2) Independence becomes a struggle

When I was growing up, my parents were the ultimate authority figures. There were rules for everything: what time I should wake up, what I should wear, what I could eat, even who I could be friends with.

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At first, it seemed normal. But as I grew older, I started to realize that my parents’ controlling nature was affecting my ability to make decisions independently.

Even simple things like choosing a movie to watch or deciding what to have for dinner became difficult tasks. I’d find myself constantly second-guessing my choices, wondering if they would approve or disapprove.

In the end, my fear of making the “wrong” decision often paralyzed me into inaction. Instead of making decisions on my own, I’d wait for someone else to make them for me.

I’m not alone in this. Many people who grow up with overly strict parents struggle with independence. They’re so used to having decisions made for them that when the time comes to make their own choices, they feel lost and unsure.

It’s a tough hurdle to overcome, but with mindfulness and self-awareness, it’s entirely possible to reclaim your independence and start making decisions confidently. After all, it’s your life. You should be the one in control of it.

3) Social anxiety often takes root

With controlling parents, social interactions can often feel like a minefield. Every word, every action is analyzed and criticized. This constant scrutiny can lead to a heightened fear of social situations.

It’s no surprise then that research indicates a significant correlation between overbearing parenting and the development of social anxiety in later life.

This is because children with strict parents are often made to feel as if they’re under a microscope in social situations, leading to heightened self-consciousness and fear of judgment. Over time, this can manifest as social anxiety, where individuals fear and avoid social situations.

It’s not just about shyness or introversion. It’s about the constant worry of doing something wrong, of being judged and criticized. It’s about the fear of letting loose and just being yourself.

Navigating through this can be difficult, but with mindfulness and self-improvement techniques, it’s possible to overcome this hurdle and gain confidence in social settings.

4) Difficulty expressing emotions

Growing up in an overly strict household often means walking on eggshells. You learn to suppress your feelings to avoid conflict or criticism. Expressing anger, sadness, or even joy can sometimes lead to disapproval or punishment.

This emotional repression doesn’t end when childhood does. It often carries over into adulthood, making it difficult for individuals to express their emotions freely.

They might find themselves bottling up feelings until they burst, or struggling to articulate emotions even to their closest friends or partners. They may even feel guilty or uncomfortable about having strong feelings, no matter what those feelings may be.

It’s a silent struggle, one that many don’t realize they’re fighting. But acknowledging it is the first step towards healing and learning to express emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

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5) Constant self-doubt

I remember always second-guessing myself. Every decision I made, no matter how small, was clouded by self-doubt.

It’s a common trait among those of us who grew up with controlling parents. We were often told that our ideas were wrong or impractical, leading to a persistent fear of making mistakes and an ingrained belief that we’re not capable of making the right decisions.

This constant self-doubt can follow us into adulthood. I often found myself hesitating before voicing my opinion or making important decisions, feeling as though I needed validation from others.

But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of life and a crucial aspect of personal growth.

Overcoming this self-doubt requires understanding that you have the right to make your own decisions and that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. Believe me, it’s a liberating feeling once you start trusting yourself more.

6) Over-responsibility

Strict parents often have high expectations. As a result, their children are often pushed to take on responsibilities beyond their years. This might seem like a good thing initially, as it can foster a strong sense of duty and reliability.

However, the downside is that these individuals often grow up feeling overly responsible for everything around them. They might blame themselves for things beyond their control or feel guilty when they’re unable to solve problems for others.

While being responsible is a positive trait, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders isn’t healthy. Learning to set boundaries and understanding that you can’t control everything is an essential step in personal growth and self-improvement.

7) Strong resilience

Living under the constant pressure and high expectations of strict parents is tough, no doubt. But there’s a silver lining to it. It often results in individuals developing a strong sense of resilience.

These individuals have been through the wringer, faced criticism head-on, and weathered the storm of high expectations. As a result, they’ve grown thicker skin and learned to bounce back from hardships.

While the journey is challenging, the resulting resilience is a valuable trait that can help navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.

Remember, resilience isn’t about avoiding difficult situations but learning to cope with them. It’s about falling down seven times, and getting up eight.

8) Desire for freedom

Above all, those who grow up with controlling parents often develop a powerful urge for freedom. They yearn for the ability to make their own decisions, to express themselves without fear of criticism, and to lead their life on their own terms.

This desire for freedom isn’t just about rebelling against strict rules. It’s about seeking personal autonomy, self-expression, and the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.

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This drive can push individuals to break free from the constraints of their upbringing and carve out their own path in life, leading to personal growth and self-discovery like no other.

Embracing the journey

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve likely resonated with at least a few of these traits.

Growing up with controlling and overly strict parents is no walk in the park. It leaves marks that can last a lifetime, shaping how we interact with the world and ourselves.

But remember, your past does not define your future.

These traits aren’t a life sentence. They’re simply part of your story, part of what makes you who you are. They can be challenging, yes, but they can also be powerful catalysts for personal growth and self-improvement.

What’s more, they equip you with a unique perspective on life – a deep understanding of the importance of freedom, the courage to challenge norms, and the resilience to bounce back from adversity.

So take a moment to reflect on these traits, to understand them not as burdens, but as stepping stones towards becoming a stronger, more self-aware individual.

After all, as Lao Tzu once said, “Knowing others is wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment.”

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