Have you ever heard the term smiling depression? High functioning depression or hidden depression?
As these names may imply, this is when a clinically depressed person tries to keep the depression a secret from others.
They often appear cheerful, successful, and seemingly put together leading you to the belief that their lives are perfectly happy, fine and without mental illness.
Is there someone you think might be secretly depressed?
Look out for these eight telltale signs that they might have hidden depression.
1. They feel emotions on a much deeper level
Does your friend become emotionally volatile in response to a simple question or comment?
Those who are secretly depressed will often feel things more intensely than usual because of how much they bottle up inside.
They’re more susceptible to crying, getting upset, or even having a full fledged breakdown because they feel overwhelmed with the deaths of all of their emotions.
This swings both ways being more affectionate and loving towards others while also more easily angered and saddened.
2. Their last positive and optimistic
Does your loved one who used to be so easy going and lighthearted become cynical and pessimistic?
They might be internally struggling with a lot of dark thoughts they’re too afraid to share.
They may adopt a more nihilistic point of view and become less positive and optimistic than you’re used to them being.
3. They are disinterested in what they used to enjoy
Did you ask your friend to hang out at their favorite restaurant or do their favorite activities but they just don’t seem to care?
This is known as apathy, another common sign of depression. Although apathy can appear as moodiness or laziness it actually does have a scientific basis.
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There’s a portion of our brain that essentially manages our motivation and reward system, the chemical dopamine drives this system and the less of it you have flowing through the brain the more apathetic you appear.
Although apathy does often get confused with depression, remember that although it is a common symptom there are factors that separate the two.
If you notice this in your friend, try not to judge them or interpret it as a reflection on you.
know that it could very well be a sign of something bigger, depression being the most common
4. They’re obsessed with being the best
Depression hidden or not is often a thief that robs us of our ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
People with concealed depression will often throw themselves into their work in order to find meaning in their lives and make sense of their suffering.
By overworking themselves, they get a sense of reprieve from their depression and distract themselves from all the negativity that they feel.
5. They recently had a major life change
According to an article from depression.org life changes positive or negative can invoke depression.
These changes can be job changes, news about moving, divorce, or even goals they have set in their life.
If your friend has gone through a life change and appears to be distressed or distraught about it they could be depressed.
6. They have sudden mood swings
Depression isn’t always gonna look like sadness.
Sometimes depression manifests as anger, irritability and sudden changes in mood.
Depression makes feeling happy and even enjoying things they used to love incredibly difficult.
Their response is a tendency to lash out and become emotionally unhinged.
There’s just too much rage and desperation for them to suppress.
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So like a volcano, they let it erupt and throw tantrums.
7. They started abusing drugs or alcohol
Occasional recreational drug use and drinking are fairly common.
However, the red flag for hidden depression starts to wave when it stops being occasional and becomes regular and then turns into dependence.
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA, found that approximately one in every five people who were depressed also had a substance abuse disorder.
8. They’re always out of it lately
Is your usually punctual friend suddenly forgetting your lunch dates? Does your friend zone out more often than usual when you’re talking to them?
Difficulty concentrating and remembering is one of the symptoms of depression.
The depressed person often has a hard time keeping their train of thought and struggles with finishing tasks, affecting their grades or work performance.
They have difficulty with decisions and remembering recent events.
They may even start to speak and move more sluggishly as a result.
9. They have emotional outbursts
Many people with depression tend to be more irritable than normal.
Unfortunately this can lead to emotional outbursts and misdirected anger.
According to Harvard Health, irritability is a more common depression symptom in men due to their tendency to bottle up their feelings and push them down.
This is not to generalize though, women are absolutely not exempt from this, and can still show irritability as a sign of depression and there are still some depressed men who show no signs of irritability.
But according to trends in the data if you are looking for signs of depression in a male friend particularly you might want to keep an eye out for this one.
10. They feel bad about asking for help
Does your friend tell you something’s wrong, but then waves it away saying it’s just silly or unimportant and they’ll just deal with it on their own?
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When someone’s trying to conceal their depression from others, they’ll often send subtle cries for help that they immediately take back.
They apologize for asking for help even when they’re struggling and never want to burden anyone else with what they’re going through.
11. They always try to look or act happy
Do you know someone who is constantly smiling and cheerful, usually denying that something is wrong even when you know there is?
They won’t let others see them cry or be sad. So they make up excuses about why they can’t see you much.
Usually when they think no one else is looking, the facade will be dropped and you’ll see things aren’t okay.
Those with depression won’t always show the symptoms commonly associated with the condition.
Does this bring anyone to mind?
Because of the negative stigma surrounding mental illness, many patients often feel the need to keep their struggle a secret for fear that they’ll be judged, shamed or mistreated for their illness.
12. They ignore messages
Do you feel like your friend is ghosting you, text left on read, calls ignored? If you two usually talk all the time and there is no reason for your friend to be mad at you he or she may be depressed.
This is a commonly known sign of depression known as social isolation.
In this time your friend could be sitting in silence while their depression persists.
When people with depression isolate themselves they could be ruminating, lost in thought, or feeling drained.
It’s important to continue to reach out to your friend if you believe this is the case
It may not seem like it, but by supporting them and showing you care you’re helping to brighten their day despite the depression they may be dealing with.
13. They have a significant change in appetite
Appetite changes commonly linked to depression can go both ways.
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It may be that your friend is continually less hungry, or more hungry than usual.
The possibilities of both are due to the stress levels that persist in the brain during depression.
As the length of stress increases, eating habits normally transition from a loss of appetite to emotional overeating.
All this is to say that if you notice a sudden shift in your friend’s eating habits it may also be a sign of depression.
14. Their body language communicates sadness
Body language can pull back the curtains on emotions people may try to hide.
Since major prolonged sadness is a common sign of depression that may make your friend appear sad for a long period of time.
This type of body language can be hunched shoulders, head down and an overall appearance that they are weighed down by something
15. Their energy seems off
Has your friend recently started acting happier than normal or do they seem quieter than normal either one can be a sign of depression.
People with depression tend to conceal their emotions in public, scared of showing others how they really feel.
They may act happy and energized in ways that seem out of character for them to convince those around them that nothing is wrong while in reality they’re feeling anything but happy and chipper on the inside.
On the flip side people with depression may be quieter on the outside to balance the potential remediation on the inside.
If your friend constantly seems quiet, preoccupied, or lost in thought they may be suffering from depression.
16. They seem more closed off than normal
Similarly if you notice something bothering your friend for a long period but they seem to shy away from talking about it they may be depressed.
It can be difficult or even embarrassing to put depression into words, sometimes there isn’t a single event that caused it or there might be so much happening inside their head that putting it into words seems tedious.
In other instances talking about their depression may make someone feel uncomfortable or even more sad.
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If your friend is struggling to verbalize their prolonged sadness they may be struggling from depression and either don’t want to talk about it or don’t know how.
Conclusion
Can you now recognize some signs to look out for if your friend may be suffering from depression.
Battling depression is a daunting task indeed but having support around oneself can make it a lot easier.
If you know someone who you suspect is secretly depressed, you can do them a favor and show your support by reaching out to them.
This may help them move towards getting the professional mental health care they need in order to improve.
Paying attention to these signs could make you a lifesaver.
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