How many times have you received a compliment and later doubted whether or not it was truly sincere?
It’s always good to assume that people have good intentions, but the sad reality is that this isn’t always the case.
Sometimes, people are just pretending to be nice to us, and it’s a point to know the telltale signs of this behavior.
Are you wondering whether or not the people around you are genuinely kind?
Here are 10 signs of fake nice people.
1. Humble bragging
humble bragging is a relatively new term, but it’s been around for ages. This is when people exhibit false modesty.
They pretend to downplay their own accomplishments while sully bragging about them at the same time.
An example would be someone who says “I hate being beautiful because people flirt with me all the time”.
According to psychological studies, it’s actually better if you go ahead and fully brag in these situations, people like genuine bragging way more than humble bragging.
2. They are people pleasers
They will agree with you on a subject and then a little while later, when someone else expresses an opposing view, they will agree with that person as well.
They think that agreeing with everyone will make them more likeable.
They can’t stand the idea of being rejected, so they will do anything they can to get approval from the people around them.
3. They need attention
They will do anything to be noticed. They don’t care how other people feel – it’s all about them.
They are completely focused on themselves and like to be the center of attention. If they feel that they’re not getting enough attention, they will figure out a way to stand out and be seen.
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They like to show off. If there’s a conversation going on, they have to take over and be at the center of it.
4. Passive-aggressive behavior
You’d be surprised how easy it is for some people to be extremely aggressive while maintaining a guise of positive and nice behavior.
This is known as “passive-aggressive behavior” and it’s one of the big signs of a fake nice person.
According to research, this behavior is common with people who have suppressed their rage and want to maintain civility and sophistication.
When they do let their anger out however, they can only do so by being passive-aggressive.
For example, someone might give you a compliment but it seems rather sarcastic and backhanded.
5. They’re only around when they feel like it
There’s that one guy who never, ever calls you – except when he needs something from you.
A year might go by without any communication. He never just checks in or says hello.
If you send him a message, he will probably ignore it. But once he needs something from you again, you’ll get another call.
When you need help, don’t even bother calling him. He’s not going to show up.
6. Ghosting
Another big sign of fake nice people is ghosting. This is when people completely fall off the radar, refusing to answer your calls or reply to your text.
Ghosting often occurs right after the relationship is seemingly going pretty well.
The other person might even seem nice and polite, then all of a sudden, they completely cut you out of their lives.
At this point, it becomes obvious that their nice behavior was just a big act.
Just like the point above but with a little bit of extra.
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7. They need to be liked
They want everybody to like them. They’re always telling jokes, teasing others, trying to make everyone laugh all the time.
Sometimes, they might express opinions or views that aren’t theirs, if they believe that that will make them more likeable.
They might behave in a number of ways that are totally against their character, just to be liked.
A genuine person doesn’t care so much about whether other people like them or not – they know that you can’t be friends with the whole world.
There will always be people who don’t like you, and that’s okay.
But the fake nice person doesn’t accept that and will keep trying to win everybody over.
8. They only respect people with power
A genuinely nice person will be respectful to everybody, regardless of their social position.
Fake nice people will make sure they know who the decision-makers are, and focus on being nice to them.
They don’t care so much about anybody else, even being nasty to those they feel are less powerful or who can’t do anything for them.
In a restaurant, they might be very disrespectful towards the waiter.
Let’s say they are trying to catch a plane and arrive at the airport just a little too late to be allowed onto the flight.
They will be very nice to the airline representatives while pleading to be let onto the plane.
But if things don’t work out, and their efforts don’t succeed, they will become unpleasant and say nasty things to the very people they were being nice to a few seconds before.
9. Crocodile tears
The phrase “crocodile tears” is used to describe people who fake emotions; usually, sadness or remorse.
We see it all the time with politicians and well-known public figures.
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So, how do you spot crocodile tears?
Research has shown that people faking emotions like remorse and sadness tend to exaggerate these emotions.
They also show a wide range of different emotions which don’t always make sense.
For example, they might switch suddenly from being sad to being hopeful.
10. They give lavish gifts
For them, there is a certain prestige involved in giving extravagant or expensive gifts, especially if they’re more expensive than what others are giving.
They are competitive, and the kind of gifts they are able to give sets them apart from others.
They want to be recognized for giving the best gifts.
11. They don’t keep their promises
In the moment, they might make a promise but never meant to keep it.
They just say it because they thought it sounded good at the moment. But it was an empty promise from the start, they never had the intention to keep their word.
12. Fake smile
fake nice people are obviously very likely to show off a fake smile.
But how do you tell the difference between their smiles and real smiles from genuine, happy and nice people?
According to psychologists, real smiles almost always use more facial muscles. Specifically, you should be on the lookout for wrinkles around the eyes.
These are key signs of a real smile.
13. They are hot and cold
They can be completely different from one moment to the next.
Think about that – it must be exhausting to constantly keep up the fake personality that they’ve created.
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Sometimes the facade crumbles and the real person shines through. And that real person might not be someone you’d like to have in your life, even for a second.
14. They act all excited to see you
You know it’s just an act when this person pretends to be so happy to see you, but you know the friendship isn’t that close, and they haven’t even returned a message you left months ago.
It’s easy for them to ignore you. Don’t be fooled by the act they are putting up!
15. They don’t appreciate others
Life is just about themselves. They are more likely to find fault in others than to find something to praise or give compliments for.
They are very critical of others, always on the look-out for flaws (which might be real or invented).
They might also, inwardly, be very critical of themselves, but this they would like to keep under wraps.
Bringing another person down means you are dominating them, you are better than them.
This is what they are trying to do.
16. Fake nice people can’t listen
Genuinely nice people are always ready to lend an ear. No matter what you’re going through, they can sit and listen to what you have to say.
Fake nice people might have a hard time doing this however because they’re usually very self-centered people.
To put it simply, it’s all about them.
Fake nice people might act the part, but they’ll try their best to sway the conversation towards topics that involve them, not you.
For example, you might be explaining struggles you have at school or work, and then someone cuts in and starts giving you a long story about their personal experiences in that area.
17. They always seem to want something
There’s usually a reason behind why fake nice people are acting so kind and considerate.
In most cases, it’s because they want something from you.
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This might not be immediately obvious, but eventually they’ll start slowly, steering the conversation to their needs and desires.
Usually, they’ll ask you to do something or you’ll discover that you have something they want.
18. They’re only nice to people who have power
Another big sign of a fake nice person is that they only act in a positive way towards those with power.
It’s always good to judge people based on how they treat people who are less fortunate or less powerful than themselves.
If their nice behavior seems directed solely towards those with power, then that nice behavior probably isn’t genuine.
19. They like to gossip and criticize others
It’s always easy to laugh at other people’s expense, and you might even be fooled into thinking that nice people do this as well.
But, if someone is bringing other people down in an effort to get close to you, then you know that deep inside they’re not very nice people.
Fake nice people love to gossip and they might do so in a way that seems nice.
They might act with a false sense of concern over other people’s misfortune.
For example, they might talk about someone else’s substance issues with a gossipy and unsympathetic tone, while pretending to be concerned.
Sometimes, it’s hard to spot this behavior, but it’s a big sign of fake niceness.
20. They are always making new friends
They’re not very good at keeping any sort of relationship going.
A lasting friendship is too much work for them; it’s easier to just make new friends as they go along, which they will then happily discard again.
Also, if they spend time with another person, eventually that person will get to know them for who they are.
And the fake nice person doesnt want that.
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It’s just too real and it interferes with the fantasy world they are creating for themselves.
21. No lie is too big
They are prone to exaggeration. Its easy for them to lie; it comes naturally.
It’s just part of the persona that theyve created, of being this fantastic, larger-than-life human being who is successful at everything.
According to the stories that they tell, they never fail at anything. They never make mistakes.
22. Fake nice people are actually pretty rare
Although there are many signs of fake nice people, they’re actually not very common.
For the most part, when someone is acting nice towards you, they really mean it.
In fact, people have a tendency to view themselves as less likeable than others see them.
Fake nice people do exist, but people probably like you a lot more than you think. That’s why it’s always a good idea to assume the best in people, because you might be irrationally fearing the worst.
Do you have any experiences with fake nice people? Let us know in the comments below.
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