Not everyone who smiles at you is your ally.
In a world where social niceties often trump honesty, it’s surprisingly easy for someone to pretend they like you while secretly harboring negative feelings.
They might mask their true emotions with polite words, cordial smiles, or surface-level gestures, but underneath it all, something feels…off.
Maybe it’s a subtle shift in their tone or an occasional slip in their demeanor that sets off alarm bells.
Perhaps it’s their lack of effort in the relationship or the way they seem detached even when they’re physically present.
Whatever the signs, pretending to like someone takes energy, and cracks in the facade often reveal more than they intend.
In this blog, we’ll explore the subtle but telling behaviors of someone who’s faking a connection with you.
By understanding these signs, you can protect yourself from one-sided relationships, set boundaries, and focus your energy on people who genuinely value you. After all, life’s too short to waste on fake connections.
1) They’re Not Mirroring You
Mirroring is a fascinating concept in psychology.
It’s what happens when people unconsciously mimic each other’s body language, speech patterns, or even emotional energy.
It’s something we all do naturally with people we feel connected to.
You may notice that when you lean forward, someone who likes you might do the same. Or when you laugh, they laugh too.
This behavior is a subconscious way of signaling that you’re on the same page, that you “get” each other.
But when someone doesn’t mirror you, it could indicate they’re not as into you as they’re pretending to be.
I remember a time when I worked closely with someone who, despite polite words, never seemed to mirror my body language.
It felt like we were always out of sync.
At first, I brushed it off, thinking it didn’t mean much. But over time, I realized that it was part of a bigger picture.
Their reluctance to mirror my gestures or even match my enthusiasm was a subtle sign that they weren’t as comfortable around me as they let on.
Of course, not everyone mirrors others perfectly, so don’t jump to conclusions based on this alone.
It’s just one of many indicators to keep in mind.
2) They’re Always “Too Busy”
“We make time for the things we value.”
That’s a piece of advice I heard early on, and it stuck with me. But life gets busy, right?
People have jobs, families, and endless commitments, so it’s natural that not everyone is available 24/7.
However, when someone consistently tells you they’re too busy to hang out but seems to make time for others, it’s worth taking a second look.
I had a friend who often said she was too swamped to grab a coffee, catch a movie, or just hang out.
At first, I was understanding—after all, we’re all juggling a lot these days.
But then I started noticing that while she was “too busy” for me, she was regularly posting pictures of herself with other friends, enjoying dinners and weekend getaways.
It was a subtle, but clear sign that she wasn’t too busy for everyone, just too busy for me.
That realization stung, but it also gave me the clarity I needed to adjust my expectations.
If you’re constantly the one initiating plans and getting brushed off with the “busy” excuse, it might be time to re-evaluate how much they truly value your relationship.
3) Their Body Language is Closed Off
Body language is often more telling than words.
Psychologists estimate that a large part of our communication is non-verbal, meaning what someone’s body is doing can often tell you how they really feel about you.
Open body language—such as facing you directly, making good eye contact, and leaning in—shows engagement and interest.
In contrast, closed-off body language can signal discomfort or disinterest.
I’ve been in situations where, despite a person’s polite words, their body told a completely different story.
Their arms were crossed, they barely made eye contact, and their body was turned slightly away from me.
All of these are classic signs that someone is mentally, if not physically, checked out.
In my case, I tried to ignore the cues at first, convincing myself it wasn’t a big deal. But over time, I began to realize that it wasn’t just a one-off occurrence.
This person consistently displayed these behaviors around me, and it became obvious that they weren’t too fond of me.
Body language can sometimes be influenced by external factors—maybe they’re having a bad day or are distracted.
But if you notice these signs often, it could be a sign that they’re not as comfortable with you as they’re pretending to be.
4) They Don’t Initiate Contact
Relationships, whether they’re friendships or more casual acquaintances, are two-way streets.
If you’re the one who’s always reaching out to make plans, it might signal that the other person isn’t as invested as you are.
I’ve experienced this before. I was always the one sending the first text, arranging meetups, and checking in.
Over time, I realized that if I didn’t reach out, we wouldn’t talk at all.
That’s when it hit me that they were happy to respond, but they never took the initiative to maintain the connection.
It was a tough pill to swallow, but it was also eye-opening.
Of course, everyone has different communication styles.
Some people are just naturally more reserved or bad at keeping in touch.
But if you’re always the one doing the heavy lifting in the relationship, it might be a sign that they’re not as interested in maintaining a close bond.
5) They’re Indifferent to Your Success
One of the best feelings in the world is sharing your wins with people who genuinely care about you.
It’s heartwarming when those close to you celebrate your achievements as if they were their own. But what happens when they don’t?
I remember when I landed a huge promotion at work—a milestone I’d been working towards for years.
Most of my friends were thrilled for me, offering congratulations and asking for all the details. But one friend’s reaction stood out, they barely acknowledged it.
Their indifference was startling, especially given the significance of the achievement in my life.
It wasn’t just that they didn’t seem excited for me; they didn’t seem to care at all.
That moment opened my eyes to the possibility that this person didn’t truly like me as much as I thought.
If someone can’t share in your happiness or feels indifferent to your success, it might be a sign that they’re not as invested in your well-being as you are in theirs.
6) They Rarely Offer Genuine Compliments
Compliments are an important social glue—they help us bond with others and build trust.
When someone genuinely likes you, they tend to notice and appreciate your positive qualities.
They might compliment you on your work, your appearance, or even your sense of humor.
But if someone rarely has anything nice to say or, worse, their “compliments” feel like backhanded jabs, it might be a sign they don’t particularly like you.
I worked with someone who, despite my best efforts, always had “constructive criticism” but never offered a genuine compliment.
I began to notice that even when I did something right, they downplayed it or dismissed it altogether.
Some people are more critical by nature, but if you notice a pattern of never receiving praise or positive feedback, it could be a sign that they’re not as fond of you as they pretend.
7) They Avoid Deeper Conversations
There’s a certain level of comfort and trust required to engage in deeper conversations.
Whether it’s talking about your hopes, dreams, or personal struggles, these conversations require emotional investment.
When someone genuinely likes you, they’ll usually be open to discussing deeper topics and learning more about who you are as a person.
But if someone consistently keeps the conversation superficial, sticking to safe topics like the weather or pop culture, it might be a subtle sign that they’re not as interested in forming a deeper connection with you.
I once had a colleague who, despite us working closely together, always avoided deeper discussions.
Our conversations remained at a surface level, and I eventually realized that they weren’t interested in getting to know me on a personal level.
While not everyone enjoys deep conversations, especially early in a relationship, a consistent avoidance of them might indicate that the person doesn’t want to invest in building a closer bond.
8) Your Intuition Tells You Something’s Off
Sometimes, no matter how many signs you’ve seen, the most telling indicator is your gut feeling.
Your intuition often picks up on subtle cues that your conscious mind hasn’t fully processed yet.
If you consistently feel uneasy or suspect that someone doesn’t like you, there’s a good chance you’re right.
I’ve learned to trust my instincts over the years.
If I leave interactions with a certain person feeling unsettled or anxious, I take it as a sign that something’s not quite right.
You don’t need a laundry list of reasons to trust your gut—sometimes, your subconscious is picking up on more than you realize.
Conclusion
While these signs can be helpful in identifying someone who may secretly dislike you, they’re not foolproof.
Everyone has off days, and behaviors that might seem like indicators of dislike could just as easily stem from stress, insecurity, or distraction.
So, if you notice these signs in someone, it’s essential to consider the context before jumping to conclusions.
That said, if you consistently pick up on several of these behaviors over time, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship.
Life’s too short to spend time worrying about people who don’t have your best interests at heart.
Listen to your intuition, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, and let go of those who don’t.
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