I remember sitting on my yoga mat, waiting for class to begin, and overhearing a conversation between two women behind me.

One of them was detailing her week: commutes, mindless errands, and a dull job she dreaded.

Her friend responded with, “At least it pays the bills.”

That simple exchange reminded me of how easy it can be to slip into a routine that keeps us afloat but doesn’t truly fulfill us.

We may do everything we “should,” yet still feel restless.

If you can relate, it might be time to figure out whether you’re merely surviving or genuinely living.

Today, I’ll walk you through eight habits that can reveal when someone is stuck in survival mode, along with thoughts on how to shift from existing to thriving.

I’ve been there, and I know how subtle the shift can be between pressing on autopilot and embracing a more conscious path.

Let’s explore each habit and see if it resonates with where you might be right now.

1. They go through the motions on autopilot

A telltale sign that someone is existing rather than living is a consistent pattern of autopilot.

They wake up, rush through breakfast, commute, and handle tasks in a mental fog.

It’s almost like their day is a checklist, and they’re just trying to tick each box.

I’ve been caught in that cycle myself, where I barely noticed if it was sunny or raining outside because my mind was stuck on the next chore.

According to research, chronic stress can push us into this autopilot state, where we lose touch with the present moment.

Our routines become a blur of responsibilities instead of conscious choices.

In many cases, just noticing you’re on autopilot is the first step to regaining control.

2. They rarely experience genuine joy

Joy feels a bit like a spark.

When we’re only surviving, that spark dims or disappears.

Tasks become obligations, and even things that used to be pleasant start to feel like chores.

Feeling a sense of satisfaction or delight is different from happiness in a superficial sense.

It’s a deeper contentment that arises when we’re engaged in meaningful activities or connections.

If that sense of joy has become rare in your life, you might be drifting through each day rather than truly living it.

Try asking yourself: What made me smile or feel grateful this week?

If the answer is a struggle, it could be your sign to pause and evaluate.

3. They numb difficult feelings with constant distractions

Keeping busy often feels productive, but it can also be a tactic to avoid our inner voices and deeper emotions.

Some people do this by scrolling endlessly on social media, binge-watching TV, or overindulging in food or substances.

I recall reading an insight from Brené Brown, who said that when we numb the hard feelings, we also numb the good ones.

And that’s a big risk.

In my own life, I’ve noticed this pattern crop up when something stressful happens.

I suddenly feel the urge to shop online or dive into a new streaming series.

It can be helpful to notice these impulses and gently ask ourselves: What am I running from?

Allow me to list a few common red flags that point to emotional avoidance:

• Finding new shows constantly to fill every free moment
• Mindless eating when worries creep in
• Reaching for alcohol whenever stress spikes
• Excessive scrolling on social media to tune out

These can look harmless at first, but over time, each coping mechanism piles up and keeps you from addressing what’s really underneath.

Recognizing the pattern is the first step to deciding how you want to handle your emotions more compassionately.

4. They neglect meaningful connections

Loneliness can creep in even when you’re surrounded by people.

We all have busy chapters in life, but a chronic pattern of neglecting genuine connection might suggest you’re simply keeping your head above water.

Maybe you decline social invitations not because you’re practicing self-care but because you just don’t have the energy to engage.

Studies highlight how social isolation can lead to increased stress hormones, impacting both mental and physical health.

When I started exploring minimalism, I realized I had fewer but more intentional connections in my life.

I learned that quality often matters more than quantity.

Still, withdrawing from everyone or never making time for real conversation is an entirely different issue.

It might be tempting to say, “I’m too tired,” or “I’ll catch up later,” but that “later” can slip further and further away.

If this sounds familiar, a good place to begin might be a short call or text to someone you trust.

5. They don’t set boundaries—everything is a ‘yes’

Saying yes to every request can feel like you’re being helpful or nice.

But when your own needs consistently take a back seat, resentment and burnout aren’t far behind.

I’ve noticed this pattern when I end up feeling drained from too many commitments and obligations.

In my marriage, for example, my husband and I make it a point to openly discuss our boundaries so that neither of us feels taken for granted.

As Thich Nhat Hanh once noted, true compassion includes compassion for oneself.

That includes knowing when a “no” is necessary.

If you find that you struggle with letting people down or turning down requests, it might be time to reassess.

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s a form of self-respect that allows you to preserve your energy for the things that truly matter.

6. They never carve out time for self-reflection

Without moments of self-reflection, life can slip by in a blur.

We might be aware of tension, unhappiness, or a craving for change, but we never pinpoint the cause.

I sometimes do a brief evening check-in with myself—nothing formal, just a moment to notice what I felt that day and what lessons emerged.

If you never slow down to reflect, you might miss those quiet signals that can steer you toward a richer life.

This is where mindfulness or meditation can make a substantial difference.

A quick morning routine with a few minutes of breathwork or journaling can break the cycle of nonstop doing.

When we integrate mindfulness, we learn to observe our thoughts rather than getting swept away by them.

Even a small, consistent practice can nudge you from autopilot mode to a more engaged state of being.

7. They see relaxation as a waste of time

Sometimes, people wear busyness like a badge of honor.

They hurry from one thing to the next, filling every gap with tasks or chores.

While it’s valuable to be productive, constant motion leaves no space for genuine relaxation or creative exploration.

This is something I had to unlearn.

For years, I thought downtime was an invitation for laziness.

Then I noticed how my creativity (and my general outlook on life) soared when I gave myself permission to rest.

If you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t afford to rest,” or “Relaxation gets nothing done,” you might be stuck in survival mode.

Instead, try to view rest as an essential recharge, not a luxury.

8. They keep their dreams on a distant shelf

When we’re merely surviving, our dreams become background noise.

We might say, “One day I’ll start that business,” or “Eventually I’ll learn that new skill,” but those plans stay buried in the future.

There’s no immediate action, just vague intentions.

I had that mindset about writing at one point, waiting for the “perfect time.”

But the truth is, no perfect time exists.

If you’re postponing your passions indefinitely, it’s worth examining why.

You might be caught in a loop of thinking you don’t deserve to pursue them until everything else is flawless.

But that day may never come.

Real living involves taking small steps toward what lights you up—even if you can only carve out fifteen minutes a day.

Final thoughts

Before we wrap up, I want to stress that recognizing these habits isn’t about shame or harsh judgment.

It’s about awareness.

I’ve had my share of survival-mode stretches, and what helped was a willingness to pause, reflect, and take even a single action to shift my perspective.

Whether that action is a mindful morning ritual, an honest conversation, or a firm boundary, each small step can guide you toward a life that feels more intentional and fulfilling.

It’s never too late to move from just surviving to truly living.