Ever heard the phrase “talk less, say more”? It’s no secret that effective communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship.
But, let’s be honest here.
Conversational prowess doesn’t come naturally to everyone. You might even catch yourself peppering your sentences with unnecessary fillers and fluff. I know I’ve been guilty of it too.
Psychology suggests that the best communicators typically steer clear of these verbal roadblocks.
So, if you’ve been wondering, “How can I polish my conversational skills?”, you’re in the right place. We’re about to delve into seven conversational fillers that great communicators often avoid.
And trust me, being aware of these fillers could be a game-changer in how you interact with others.
Let’s dive in and unravel these conversation fillers, shall we?
1) The infamous “um” and “uh”
Let’s start with the most common culprits: “um” and “uh”.
You see, we often use these as a crutch when we’re searching for the right words or when we’re feeling uncertain.
These fillers don’t add any value to our conversation. In fact, they can make us come across as less confident or unsure.
And confidence, as you know, is key in effective communication.
So, what can you do instead?
Try taking a brief pause. It might feel awkward initially, but it’s much better than filling the silence with a stream of “ums” and “uhs”. Plus, it gives you a moment to gather your thoughts.
Remember, it’s not about speed. It’s about clarity and precision. And sometimes, silence truly can be golden.
2) Overusing “like”
Confession time. I used to be a serial “like” user.
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It’s a habit many of us pick up without even realizing it. We use “like” as a filler, a way of punctuating our sentences, or sometimes just out of sheer habit.
But here’s what I learned.
Not only is it distracting, but it also dilutes the impact of what we’re trying to say. And let’s be honest, overusing “like” can make us sound…well, a bit flippant.
So, I made a conscious effort to cut back on my “likes”. And no, it wasn’t easy.
Over time, my conversations became much more engaging and purposeful. And the best part? I noticed that people were actually listening more attentively to what I had to say.
The takeaway here? Being mindful of our language can truly transform the way we communicate. And trust me, it’s worth the effort.
3) The filler phrase “you know”
Let’s talk about “you know”.
It’s a phrase we often use to ensure the listener is following along, or maybe just to fill a gap while we think of what to say next.
When we’re constantly checking in with “you know”, it can actually have the opposite effect. It can become monotonous and even irritating for the listener, and it may even suggest that we don’t trust their understanding or attention.
I’ll be honest, it’s a tough habit to break. But it’s also an important one, especially if we want to be better communicators.
Let’s try something different, why not simply pause? Allow the listener a moment to absorb what you’re saying. Trust them to follow along without constant reassurance.
It might be a small change, but believe me, it can make a big difference in your conversations.
4) Excessive use of “literally”
Now, let’s tackle the word “literally”.
It’s become quite trendy these days to use “literally” for emphasis. But let’s face it, most of the time we’re not using it in its literal sense.
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And here lies the problem.
Overusing “literally” can diminish its intended effect, leaving our statements sounding melodramatic rather than impactful.
So, my advice?
Use it sparingly and only when you mean it in its true sense – when something is exactly as you say it is.
This will not only enhance the power of your words but also reflect a more accurate representation of your thoughts.
After all, precision in language is a hallmark of great communicators.
5) The ambiguous “stuff” and “things”
“Stuff” and “things” are words that often sneak into our conversations. They’re our go-to when we’re being lazy or vague about what we’re trying to convey.
But, according to research, specificity enhances credibility.
So when we resort to using vague words like “stuff” or “things”, it can actually make us appear less credible. And let’s not forget, it can also leave our listeners confused about what we’re actually trying to say.
Awareness is the first step towards change. So the next time you find yourself reaching for these vague words, take a moment.
Try to articulate exactly what you mean instead. You might be surprised at how this small change can add a new level of clarity and depth to your conversations.
6) Falling back on “I mean”
“I mean” is another filler phrase that many of us use regularly. We often use it to soften our statements or to buy time while we gather our thoughts.
But here’s a gentle reminder.
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Your thoughts and opinions are valid and important. You don’t need to soften them with fillers like “I mean”.
Instead, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before you speak. And when you do, speak confidently and assertively.
Remember, every word you say carries weight. So, let’s make sure they reflect the authenticity and thoughtfulness that truly represents you.
7) The repetitive “actually”
Last but certainly not least, let’s address the overuse of “actually”.
“Actually” is often used to add emphasis or correct a misconception. But when used excessively, it can come across as defensive or even condescending.
So, let’s reserve “actually” for when it’s truly needed.
This simple act of restraint can help maintain the respect and mutual understanding that are so crucial in effective communication.
Embracing the art of conversation
If you find yourself recognizing some of these fillers in your own speech, don’t worry. You’re certainly not alone.
But here’s the silver lining – awareness is the first step to change.
With this newfound knowledge, you can begin to consciously avoid these fillers in your conversations. The key is mindfulness and practice. Clear communication is admirable, but it doesn’t mean we have to sound robotic or scripted.
Start by noticing when these fillers creep into your speech. Pay attention to their frequency and the context in which you use them. Be consciously aware of your words and their impact on your listeners.
With consistent effort and patience, you can refine your conversational skills. Each small step towards clear and confident communication not only enhances your interactions but also builds self-assurance.
As you embark on this journey of improved communication, be gentle with yourself.
And who knows? You might just discover a more authentic, confident communicator within yourself – one who speaks clearly, listens effectively, and connects deeply with others.
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Because at the end of the day, that’s what great communication really is all about – building meaningful connections through the power of words.
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