7 Ways Insecure People Try to Seem Important

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In a world that often values appearances over authenticity, many people feel an almost compulsive need to present themselves as more important or successful than they genuinely feel inside. 

This isn’t always about arrogance; more often than not, it stems from a place of insecurity. 

They are working to bridge a gap between how they perceive themselves and how they wish others would see them.

We’ve all encountered people who seem to go out of their way to emphasize their “busy” schedules or broadcast their every accomplishment, and it’s easy to misinterpret their actions as vanity. But looking closer, these behaviors often reveal a deeper discomfort. 

Here’s a closer look at seven ways people use various tactics to project a sense of importance—and why they may do so.

1. They pretend they’re in a rush

If you’ve ever been around someone who constantly seems in a hurry, watching them check their watch or phone, or seeing them anxiously glance around as though their time is stretched impossibly thin, you’ve likely encountered someone who’s attempting to convey a sense of indispensability. 

They walk quickly, often sighing dramatically, making it seem like every second counts.

This behavior speaks volumes about their internal mindset. 

To them, projecting an image of perpetual busyness equates to importance. 

They want others to assume they have too many responsibilities to take a moment to chat or relax. 

However, underneath this “always on the move” facade, there may be a feeling of inadequacy. 

They might fear that if they’re seen with nothing to do, others will assume they’re unimportant. 

Perhaps they’re worried that their lives are not as fulfilling or as prestigious as they’d like them to be, so they compensate by presenting a hyper-busy lifestyle.

2. They re-label ordinary events with terms meant to impress

When you hear someone refer to their neighborhood meeting as a “board meeting” or call a casual catch-up with friends a “conference call,” it can come across as pretentious.

But for many, labeling ordinary events with impressive-sounding terms is a way of attempting to align their daily life with the lifestyles they admire or aspire to.

This tactic reveals an interesting layer of insecurity. 

These individuals may feel that their current life, the one filled with everyday tasks and minor social gatherings, doesn’t meet their standard of “importance.” 

So, they reframe it, choosing terms that imply exclusivity or significance.

For them, attending a “strategy session” sounds far more compelling than simply helping plan a community event.

We’ve all experienced moments of wishing our lives sounded a bit more extraordinary. 

This approach isn’t always born from an intention to mislead; it may simply be a reflection of the way someone wishes to see themselves. 

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They may hope that by associating with these terms, they can bolster their confidence and validate their existence.

3. They put on an air of preoccupation

One of the most common ways people attempt to convey importance is through their body language. 

People who wear an expression of constant preoccupation—the furrowed brow, the distracted look, the deep, pensive sighs—are often trying to appear like they’re wrestling with serious matters. 

They want to be seen as having so many thoughts and decisions weighing on them that they’re just too busy to be at ease.

This behavior can actually be quite isolating. 

By pushing others away with a look of distraction, they create a shield around themselves, protecting them from the vulnerability of appearing idle or unimportant. 

Those who use this strategy might be hiding their fear that others would judge them as lacking ambition or relevance if they appeared carefree.

For friends or family, seeing a loved one use this tactic can feel frustrating. 

Conversations might feel stilted, and they may feel their relationship is constantly competing with “more important” things. 

But when viewed through the lens of insecurity, this behavior can inspire empathy. 

Understanding the motivations behind it may open the door to a more compassionate response.

4. They use away messages on email even if they’re not away

In the digital age, one of the easiest ways to project an aura of importance is by managing one’s availability—or rather, making it appear severely limited. 

Away messages and email autoresponders that inform others of one’s limited response time can create a sense of exclusivity. 

An auto-reply like, “Due to the high volume of emails I receive, I may be slow to respond. 

Please reach out to my assistant if urgent,” sends a clear message: this person is in high demand.

While it’s normal for professionals to manage their availability, using an away message unnecessarily can be a tactic for seeming significant. 

Some might never actually be “away,” but they rely on this out-of-office facade to imply that their responsibilities are so vast, they can’t respond promptly to everyone.

For those around them, this habit can feel alienating, even unnecessary. 

However, from the perspective of the person using this tactic, the intention might be rooted in a desire to feel as essential as those they admire. 

By setting boundaries—even imaginary ones—they reinforce the belief that they are as busy and sought-after as they’d like to think of themselves.

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5. They make you wait for them to arrive

Have you ever noticed that certain people never seem to arrive on time? 

Maybe it’s a dinner, a meeting, or even a simple coffee catch-up—they’re rarely the first to show up. 

The reason isn’t always poor time management; often, it’s a calculated move to project power. 

By making others wait, they create a subtle shift in the power dynamic.

To someone who feels insecure about their position or significance, being the last to arrive provides a small but meaningful sense of control. 

It communicates that they’re busy enough to be delayed, reinforcing the idea that they’re juggling more than everyone else. 

This act can also serve as a test of loyalty or interest; if you’re willing to wait, it must mean they’re worth the time.

Friends and colleagues might find this habit frustrating or disrespectful. 

Being late without apology can feel inconsiderate and may even strain relationships over time. 

However, for the individual, this behavior is often an unconscious attempt to bolster their self-worth by positioning themselves as the one “too important to be rushed.”

6. They exaggerate their accomplishments on social media

In the world of social media, we’re often encouraged to “put our best foot forward.” 

For some, however, this means not just sharing highlights but carefully crafting a persona that is slightly (or significantly) exaggerated.

They might add a job title that sounds prestigious, list a laundry list of skills, and post photos that portray a jet-setting, high-powered lifestyle. 

LinkedIn profiles, in particular, are prime real estate for these embellishments.

This isn’t merely showing off; for many, it’s a way to build confidence and self-esteem. 

These curated lives often serve as a reminder to the individual of who they wish to become. 

In their mind, exaggerating a bit on social media allows them to feel closer to that vision.

By displaying an idealized version of themselves, they can momentarily step away from their insecurities and live in the fantasy of being perceived as extraordinary.

This approach, however, can lead to a sense of disconnection for followers, friends, and family members who know the “real” person. 

While they may recognize the exaggeration, they might also sense the gap between the image and reality. 

When you understand this behavior as an attempt to shield vulnerabilities, though, it’s easier to empathize with the need behind the boastful posts.

7. They behave as if they’re the smartest person in the room

One of the more challenging aspects of interacting with an insecure person is dealing with their need to appear the most knowledgeable in any situation. 

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Even if they’re not entirely sure of the facts, they may adopt a confident tone and dismiss others’ opinions to maintain an air of intellectual authority. 

To them, admitting ignorance or learning from others would imply a vulnerability they’re unwilling to show.

This behavior can make relationships feel strained, as others may find themselves walking on eggshells to avoid challenging their “expertise.” 

But what might seem like arrogance is often a defense mechanism. 

If they feel they aren’t the smartest person in the room, they worry that others might not respect or value them.

This is especially common in professional settings, where appearing knowledgeable is equated with respect and influence.

When viewed through a lens of compassion, their need to “be right” transforms into a clearer picture of their self-doubt. 

They may need reassurance and understanding from those around them to feel safe enough to let their guard down and show their authentic self.

Conclusion

While these behaviors can be frustrating or even alienating, it’s essential to understand that they often stem from deep-seated insecurities and fears of inadequacy. 

People who feel the need to act important aren’t necessarily narcissistic or vain; they’re often just trying to bridge a gap between the way they see themselves and the person they wish to be.

By recognizing these signs and understanding the motivations behind them, we can learn to approach these individuals with empathy. 

Their behaviors, however exaggerated or irritating, may reflect a desire to feel valued, appreciated, and worthy. 

And while everyone’s insecurities manifest differently, we’ve all, at times, felt the pressure to measure up, to prove our worth, and to make our lives seem just a bit more extraordinary.

Understanding these behaviors is not about condoning them but about finding compassion for the person behind the facade. 

At the end of the day, everyone wants to feel important, and showing a little patience and kindness can help them realize that their true self, without all the pretenses, is enough.

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