If Someone Brings Up These 10 Topics In a Conversation, They Aren’t Very Good at Socializing

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling drained, confused, or just uncomfortable—and you couldn’t quite put your finger on why?

Sometimes it’s not about how someone says something, but what they choose to bring up in the first place.

That’s what I want to unpack here.

Because when someone consistently brings up certain topics—especially early in a conversation—it’s often a clue they’re struggling with basic social awareness.

I’ve sat through enough awkward work events, school meetings, and dinner parties to spot the signs.

Let’s take a look at the topics that often signal someone just isn’t great at connecting with others.

1. Themselves, in excessive detail

We’ve all had that conversation partner who somehow turns every topic into a story about them.

A new restaurant opens? They used to know the chef.

You mention a trip? They’ve been there, too—but had a way better time.

It’s not that sharing personal stories is a problem.

But when someone dominates the conversation with no space for others to chime in, it signals poor social calibration.

People who focus conversations on themselves are perceived as less likable, especially in initial encounters.

That doesn’t mean we have to suppress our experiences.

But real connection involves balance.

2. Their intense diet or workout routine

There’s nothing wrong with living a healthy life.

But some people bring up their eating habits or gym routines in conversations that have nothing to do with health.

And it can make others feel judged or uncomfortable—even if that’s not the intention.

I remember being at a birthday brunch where one woman kept explaining why she couldn’t eat anything on the menu.

It wasn’t about allergies.

It was about her latest cleanse.

Everyone else at the table went quiet.

The vibe was gone.

Health should be personal—not performative.

3. How much money they make (or spend)

If someone brings up their salary, the cost of their new gadget, or how much they spent on dinner unprompted, that’s usually a red flag.

Why?

Because it often comes off as bragging or posturing—even if it’s wrapped in a joke.

It’s not rocket science: People who flaunt wealth tend to be perceived as less warm and less competent.

There’s a time and place to talk about finances, of course.

But throwing numbers around casually often signals insecurity masked as confidence.

4. Other people’s mistakes

Some folks love to talk about what others are doing wrong.

Their coworkers.

Their ex.

Their neighbor’s parenting style.

They paint themselves as the wise observer—but all I hear is judgment.

When someone constantly brings up how others are failing, it doesn’t just show a lack of empathy.

It shows they’re not good at reading the room.

And honestly, it’s just not enjoyable to be around.

5. Graphic or inappropriate health details

We all go through things—illness, surgery, recovery.

But there’s a difference between sharing something for connection and launching into a play-by-play of your last colonoscopy at the lunch table.

You see, not everyone is comfortable with bodily details in casual conversation.

And socially aware people understand how to read the comfort levels of their audience.

Sharing too much, too soon, especially in graphic terms, often leaves others feeling trapped.

6. Politics (especially with no interest in discussion)

I’m all for thoughtful political dialogue.

But the people who loudly drop political opinions into everyday chats—without context or curiosity—usually aren’t trying to connect.

They’re trying to provoke or impress.

I don’t know about you but personally, I dread having to talk politics with people who have different views.

If someone brings it up in a way that shuts down, rather than opens up conversation, it’s a clear sign of poor social timing.

7. How “real” or “honest” they are

If someone constantly says things like “I just tell it like it is” or “People can’t handle my honesty,” that’s usually a warning.

It’s often a cover for being blunt or tactless.

Socially skilled people know that honesty is important—but so is kindness and timing.

When someone has to tell you how authentic they are, it’s usually because their behavior doesn’t reflect it.

8. Their ex (especially early on)

Talking about an ex can be healthy—in the right context.

But if someone brings up their ex in casual conversation, especially with new people, it can come across as emotionally unresolved.

I once went on a casual coffee date where the guy brought up his ex… four times.

Not angrily. Not even sentimentally.

Just constantly.

It was like she was still in the room.

Socially attuned people understand the importance of boundaries—and moving forward.

9. Their own intelligence or achievements

There’s a difference between sharing what you’re proud of and needing everyone to know how smart or accomplished you are.

If someone constantly name-drops credentials, books they’ve read, or throws around “big ideas” without any interest in others’ input, it’s not about connection.

It’s about control.

And it rarely lands the way they hope.

According to research from the Harvard Business School, people who “humblebrag” are seen as less sincere and less competent than those who either openly brag or stay quiet.