There’s a fine line between casual chit-chat and a conversation that shows someone is genuinely interested in getting to know you.
The difference lies in the choice of words. Casual conversation is typically filled with small talk, while deep, meaningful conversations are loaded with specific phrases.
These phrases, a mere combination of words, can signal someone’s genuine interest in understanding who you are as a person.
And being a smart conversationalist means being able to recognize these phrases when they are used.
In this article, I will share eight such phrases that indicate a person’s sincere interest in getting to know you. These phrases go beyond the surface, delving into the essence of who you are.
Let me guide you on how to identify these phrases and understand when someone genuinely wants to connect with you on a deeper level.
1) “Tell me more about…”
You’ve probably been in a situation where the conversation feels like it’s just scratching the surface. The person you’re talking to seems more interested in talking about themselves or sticking to generic topics.
But then, someone comes along who goes beyond the usual chatter. They drop in a phrase like, ‘Tell me more about…’ and suddenly, the conversation takes a deeper turn.
‘Tell me more about…’ is a powerful phrase that shows genuine interest. It signals that the person isn’t just interested in passing small talk.
They want to dive deeper and understand more about your experiences, your thoughts, or your feelings.
This phrase invites you to open up and share more of yourself. It’s an indication that the person wants to know you for who you are, not just what you do.
The next time someone uses this phrase in a conversation, take it as a sign they’re genuinely interested in getting to know you on a personal level.
This isn’t just about being polite or making conversation – it’s about truly understanding and connecting with you.
2) “What’s your story?”
I remember when I moved to a new city. I was at a social gathering, surrounded by people I hardly knew, and feeling slightly out of place. Then someone approached me and simply asked, “What’s your story?”
That question caught me off guard. It wasn’t the usual “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?”. It was an invitation to share my journey, my experiences, my life.
When someone asks, “What’s your story?”, it shows that they are interested in more than just surface-level information.
They’re asking about your life journey, your experiences, your highs and lows, your dreams, and your accomplishments.
That person didn’t just want to know what job I held or where I was born. They wanted to hear my story – the unique combination of experiences that have shaped who I am today.
If someone asks you, “What’s your story?”, know that they genuinely want to understand you as an individual. They’re not looking for a quick summary; they’re interested in the chapters that make up your life.
3) “How does that make you feel?”
Consider this: according to multiple studies, when people are asked to share their feelings, it triggers a process of self-reflection and self-awareness.
This process often leads to a deeper understanding of oneself and can help build stronger relationships.
“How does that make you feel?” is a question that does just that. It shifts the focus from the factual details of what happened to the emotional impact of the situation.
When someone asks you how you feel, they’re not just interested in what’s happening, but how it’s affecting you emotionally.
They want to understand your emotional reaction, which is often a clearer reflection of your values, beliefs and personality.
Next time you’re in a conversation and someone asks you how a particular situation made you feel, take note.
It shows that they’re interested in understanding your emotions and getting to know you on a more personal level.
4) “What do you think about…?”
When someone asks you, “What do you think about…?”, they’re not just making conversation. They’re inviting you to share your perspectives, your opinions, and your insights.
This question goes beyond surface-level small talk. It’s a way of saying, ‘I value your opinion. I want to know how you see the world.’
Whether it’s about a book, a movie, a political issue, or a philosophical concept, when someone asks for your thoughts on a specific topic, they’re showing respect for your intellect and curiosity about your worldview.
Recognize this as an indication that they genuinely want to get to know you. They’re not just interested in your experiences; they also want to understand how you process information and form opinions.
5) “I admire that about you”
When someone says, “I admire that about you,” it’s a clear signal that they’ve been paying attention to your words, your actions, and your character.
They aren’t just passively participating in the conversation; they’re actively observing and appreciating you.
This phrase is more than just a compliment. It’s an acknowledgment of your qualities, your strengths, and your unique attributes.
It suggests that the person is not just interested in knowing about you but also values and appreciates who you are.
Hearing someone express admiration for something specific about you can create a deep sense of connection. It shows that they see you, they understand you, and they appreciate you.
The next time someone tells you they admire something about you, take it to heart. These words are a strong indication that this person genuinely wants to get closer to understanding the real you.
6) “I can relate to that”
A few years ago, I shared a difficult experience with a friend.
It was one of those situations where I felt like no one could possibly understand what I was going through. But then, my friend looked at me and said, “I can relate to that.”
“I can relate to that” is a powerful phrase. It bridges the gap between two individuals, creating an emotional connection born out of shared experiences or feelings.
When someone says they can relate to your situation, it means they’ve been in your shoes or felt similar emotions.
This phrase is an indication of empathy and understanding. It shows that the person is not just passively listening to you, but actively trying to comprehend your feelings or situation from their own perspective.
If someone tells you they can relate to what you’re saying or experiencing, know that they’re genuinely trying to connect with you on a deeper level.
They’re not just interested in your story; they’re finding common ground to form a closer bond with you.
7) “That must have been difficult for you”
When someone says, “That must have been difficult for you,” they’re doing more than just acknowledging your struggle.
They’re expressing empathy and showing that they understand, or are attempting to understand, the depth of what you’ve experienced.
This phrase goes beyond casual conversation. It’s a way of saying ‘I see your pain, I acknowledge it, and I empathize with it.’
It’s a sign that the person is not afraid to dive into deeper, sometimes uncomfortable topics to connect with you on a more personal level.
When you hear these words in a conversation, see it as a sign that the person genuinely cares about your experiences and feelings.
They want to understand the challenges you’ve faced and how they’ve shaped you. They’re not just trying to know you; they’re trying to understand you.
8) “I’m here for you”
“I’m here for you” – these four words hold immense power. They convey support, empathy, and a willingness to be present in whatever way you might need.
When someone says this to you, they’re offering more than just companionship. They’re offering their time, their listening ear, and their support.
They’re assuring you that they’re there for you, not just in this moment but also in future moments when you might need them.
This phrase is a testament to the person’s genuine interest in you. It shows that they’re not just interested in knowing about your experiences and perspectives, but also in being a part of your journey.
When someone tells you that they’re here for you, recognize it as a sign of their deep and genuine interest in you as a person. They’re not just looking to know you – they’re looking to be there for you.
Final thoughts: It’s about connection
Despite our differences, at the heart of human nature lies a shared yearning for connection.
The words we use in our conversations are more than just vehicles for conveying information. They are bridges that connect one individual to another, crossing the gaps of experiences, perspectives, and emotions.
The eight phrases we’ve explored in this article are indicators of a deeper desire to understand and connect with you on a personal level.
They go beyond the surface-level chatter and touch the core of who you are as an individual.
The next time you hear one of these phrases in a conversation, pause for a moment.
Reflect on the intention behind these words and recognize them for what they are – invitations to a deeper connection, to be seen, understood, and appreciated for who you truly are.
As author Stephen R. Covey once said, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
When someone uses these phrases, they’re not just listening to reply; they’re listening to understand. And that, in itself, is a beautiful connection worth cherishing.
