When your kids still say “I love you” as adults, you know you’ve done something right. When they choose to share their triumphs and troubles with you, even in adulthood, that’s an unbreakable bond.
Easy? Nope. Parenting is a never-ending journey, and building a strong bond with your adult children is no less challenging.
However, some parents nail it. They usually exhibit these 8 specific behaviors.
Here’s the short and sweet of it: it’s not about helicopter parenting or being a ‘cool’ parent. It’s about understanding, respect, and communication.
Let’s dive into these behaviors that cultivate unbreakable bonds between parents and their adult children.
1) They listen actively
The first step to understanding? Listening.
True listening is a skill that not many people possess. But parents who have unbreakable bonds with their adult children are masters at it.
They don’t just hear words. They listen for the feelings, the thoughts, and the intentions beneath. They read between the lines, catching what’s left unsaid.
This goes beyond just being a sounding board. It’s about validating their children’s thoughts and emotions, showing genuine interest, and offering thoughtful responses.
In doing this, they’re showing their kids that they’re seen, heard, and understood. And isn’t that what we all want in our relationships?
Top-notch listening skills: that’s step one towards building an unbreakable bond with your adult children.
2) They offer support, not control
The line between supporting and controlling can be a fine one. And I’ve learned that the hard way.
I remember when my eldest was in college, facing a major decision about her career path. I felt an urge to step in, to make the decision for her. After all, with my life experience, I thought I knew better.
But instead, I took a step back. I chose to support her decision-making process rather than control it. I asked questions, offered insights when asked, and made it clear that whatever path she chose, I’d be there cheering her on.
What happened? She made a choice she’s still happy with today. And our bond? Stronger than ever.
Parents who build lasting bonds with their adult children know this: It’s about guiding, not deciding. It’s about offering a safety net, not a leash. Support over control – that’s the mantra.
3) They respect boundaries
In the world of psychology, there’s something called the “Doorway Effect“. It’s the idea that when we cross a boundary – like walking through a doorway – our brains reset, leaving behind what was in the previous room.
This isn’t just true for physical doorways. It applies to the boundaries in our relationships too.
Parents with unbreakable bonds with their adult children know how to respect these boundaries. They understand that their children are adults with their own lives, responsibilities, and decisions to make.
They don’t intrude or demand information but allow their children to share at their own pace. They’re always there, but they don’t insist on always being involved.
This respectful distance allows the adult child to grow independently, while knowing they have a secure base to return to. It strengthens the bond, making it flexible, adaptable, and ultimately unbreakable.
4) They communicate openly
Open communication is the backbone of any strong relationship, and parent-child relationships are no exception.
Parents who have unbreakable bonds with their adult children aren’t afraid to express their feelings. They share their joys, their fears, their disappointments, and their triumphs.
But it’s not a one-way street. They also encourage their children to do the same. They create a safe space where their kids feel comfortable opening up about their own emotions and experiences.
And when the inevitable disagreements happen? They handle them with maturity and respect, focusing on understanding rather than winning.
This openness builds trust, fosters understanding, and deepens the bond between parents and their adult children. It’s honest, it’s real, and it’s powerful.
5) They maintain a sense of humor
Laughter has always been my secret weapon. It’s a universal language that can diffuse tension, bring people closer together, and create memorable moments.
Parents who maintain unbreakable bonds with their adult children know how to wield this powerful tool. They use humor to lighten the mood, to break through barriers, and to add some spice to their relationship.
But it’s not just about cracking jokes or making fun of situations. It’s about sharing a hearty laugh together. It’s about not taking life too seriously all the time and finding joy in the little things.
In my experience, this shared sense of humor has helped me navigate through some tricky parenting moments. It keeps our bond light-hearted, fun, and unbreakable.
6) They allow their children to make mistakes
It’s a parent’s instinct to protect their children – it’s hardwired into us. But sometimes, the best way to protect is to let go.
Parents who have unbreakable bonds with their adult children understand this paradox. They know that real growth comes from facing challenges and learning from mistakes.
These parents aren’t quick to swoop in and save the day. Instead, they allow their kids to stumble, fall, and pick themselves up. They see these moments not as failures, but as opportunities for their children to develop resilience and problem-solving skills.
And when their kids do mess up? These parents are there with open arms, ready to offer comfort, support, and a lesson or two – without any “I told you so”s.
This approach might seem risky, but it’s one of the most empowering things a parent can do for their adult child. And it’s one of the surest ways to build an unbreakable bond.
7) They show appreciation
Appreciation is a small word with a big impact.
Parents who build unbreakable bonds with their adult children understand the power of this simple act. They don’t take their children for granted or overlook their achievements, no matter how small.
They celebrate their wins, acknowledge their efforts, and express gratitude for their presence in their lives. It’s not about showering them with lavish praises or gifts, but about genuine recognition and appreciation.
This act of acknowledging and valuing their children’s individuality not only boosts their self-esteem but also reinforces the bond they share. It’s a subtle yet powerful way of saying, “I see you, I value you, and I love you.”
And that goes a long way in building an unbreakable bond.
8) They love unconditionally
At the heart of it all is love. Unconditional, unwavering, unending love.
Parents who form unbreakable bonds with their adult children know that this love is their greatest strength. It’s not about fulfilling expectations or achieving milestones. It’s about loving their children for who they are, with all their strengths and flaws.
This unconditional love sends a powerful message to their children: “You are loved, no matter what.” It creates a safe haven, a secure base from which they can explore the world.
And that, my friends, is the power of unconditional love. It’s what holds everything together and makes these bonds truly unbreakable.
Closing thoughts
If you’ve journeyed with us this far, it’s clear that parents who build unbreakable bonds with their adult children are truly special.
These bonds aren’t built on lofty achievements or grand gestures. They’re built on the little things – listening, supporting, respecting, communicating, laughing, allowing mistakes, showing appreciation, and loving unconditionally.
American author and motivational speaker Denis Waitley once said, “The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”
Parents who cultivate these unbreakable bonds do just that. They give their children roots to ground them and wings to fly.
These parents aren’t just good parents. They are pillars of strength, sources of comfort, and lifelong friends to their children.
Reflect on that. Because being such a parent isn’t just about raising happy children. It’s about creating a legacy of love that endures across generations.
