As a young child, I was always told to “speak my mind”, “be open” and “share my thoughts”. After all, isn’t that what helps us connect with others?
However, growing up, I’ve discovered that this isn’t always the best advice.
Don’t get me wrong, transparency and openness are great for building trust in relationships. But sometimes, maintaining our peace and tranquility calls for a bit more discernment in what we choose to share.
Psychology suggests that there are certain things we should consider keeping to ourselves. Not because we’re being secretive, but because this small act of discretion can actually contribute towards protecting our inner peace.
So if you’re curious about what these things might be, stick around. Let’s dive into the seven things you should always keep to yourself if you want to protect your peace.
1) Your personal goals
Now this might sound a bit counterintuitive. After all, aren’t we supposed to share our goals with others to hold ourselves accountable?
Here’s the thing.
The moment we start broadcasting our goals, we experience a premature sense of accomplishment. It’s as if we’ve already achieved what we set out to do.
This can lead to a decrease in motivation to actually reach those goals.
Moreover, keeping your goals to yourself protects you from unsolicited advice and negative feedback that can dampen your spirits or even derail you from your path.
So next time you set a personal goal, consider keeping it under wraps. Share it only when you’ve made significant progress or better yet, when you’ve achieved it. Trust me, the satisfaction of revealing a goal already accomplished is much greater.
Remember, your journey is yours alone. And it’s quite alright to keep some parts of it just to yourself.
2) Your good deeds
I remember when I was in college, I used to volunteer at a local animal shelter. It was something I genuinely enjoyed, and it gave me a sense of fulfillment.
But I made a point to keep it to myself, not because I didn’t want others to know, but because it was something I did for myself and the animals, not for recognition or applause.
You see, the moment you start sharing your acts of kindness with others, they can lose their authenticity. It’s easy for good deeds to become less about helping others and more about seeking validation or approval.
Psychology supports this theory too. It suggests that publicizing our good deeds can lead to a decrease in intrinsic motivation – that is, the motivation that comes from within.
So next time you do something good, try keeping it to yourself. You’ll find that the joy derived from the act itself is often more rewarding than any amount of recognition.
After all, true altruism lies in doing good without expecting anything in return, even if it’s just a pat on the back.
3) Your family issues
We all have them. The family spats, the sibling rivalries, the disagreements that are as old as time itself. But here’s the thing: they are yours to handle and not for everyone else to judge or offer unsolicited advice on.
Psychology suggests that sharing your family issues with others can trigger unnecessary stress and anxiety. It can lead to a sense of vulnerability and, at times, can even invite judgment or criticism, which does nothing for your peace of mind.
Moreover, it’s important to respect the privacy of your family members. Their stories are not yours to share without consent.
Let’s face it; every family has its quirks and issues. Dealing with them internally, in a respectful and constructive manner, can foster better relationships and understanding within the family.
Your peace of mind is more important than external validation or temporary relief through venting. It’s okay to keep some things within your circle, especially when it comes to family matters.
4) Your financial status
Money matters can be a tricky subject to navigate. They’re deeply personal and can often stir up strong emotions.
Sharing your financial status, whether it’s how much you earn, how much you save, or how much debt you’re in, can lead to unnecessary stress and comparisons. It can also invite unsolicited advice or judgment.
Moreover, money has always been a sensitive topic. It’s one of those areas where people tend to have strong opinions and biases. And let’s face it – no one enjoys being judged or compared based on their financial situation.
So, whether you’re swimming in wealth or struggling to make ends meet, consider keeping your financial status to yourself. Focus on managing your finances in a way that brings you peace of mind and aligns with your personal goals.
Remember, your worth is not defined by your bank balance. What matters more is your peace of mind and overall well-being.
5) Your past mistakes
Did you know that we humans have a natural tendency to focus on negative experiences more than positive ones? It’s a psychological phenomenon known as negativity bias.
When we share our past mistakes with others, we inadvertently end up reliving those experiences. This can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, and rob us of our peace.
Moreover, sharing your past mistakes can sometimes lead to judgment or unsolicited advice, neither of which contribute to your peace of mind.
We all make mistakes. They’re a vital part of our growth and learning process. Instead of dwelling on them or broadcasting them to the world, consider viewing them as learning experiences.
Indeed, you’re not defined by your past mistakes, but by how you grow and learn from them. So why let them disrupt your peace? Embrace them, learn from them, and move forward.
6) Your personal struggles
We all have our battles to fight, our mountains to climb. But that doesn’t mean we need to wear them on our sleeves for the world to see.
It’s not about hiding your struggles, but understanding that sharing them with everyone may not always be beneficial. It can potentially lead to feeling more overwhelmed, especially if the responses you receive are not supportive or understanding.
You are not alone in your struggles. Everyone is fighting their own battles, many of which we know nothing about. So it’s okay to keep your struggles to yourself if sharing them disrupts your peace.
Instead, consider opening up to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking professional help if needed. They can provide the support and guidance you need without disrupting your peace.
7) Your future plans
Life is unpredictable. Plans change, dreams evolve, and what seems like a certainty today may not be the same tomorrow.
Sharing your future plans with everyone can lead to unnecessary pressure to conform to those plans, even when they no longer serve your best interests.
Moreover, people’s opinions and expectations can easily influence your decisions and sway you from your original path. This can disrupt your peace and cause unnecessary stress.
So keep your future plans to yourself. Let them be a beautiful secret between you and your future self. Nurture them quietly, work towards them diligently, and watch them unfold naturally.
The future is yours to create. Protect your peace by keeping your plans close to your heart until they’re ready to bloom.
Wrapping it up
Choosing to keep certain aspects of your life to yourself isn’t about hiding or being secretive. It’s about safeguarding your peace, respecting your journey, and honoring your personal boundaries.
In a world that constantly encourages us to share every detail of our lives, it takes courage and self-awareness to step back and decide what deserves your silence. It’s not about isolating yourself, but about maintaining a healthy balance between openness and privacy.
You don’t owe anyone a window into every part of your life. Your experiences, goals, struggles – they’re yours to own and manage in a way that serves your peace and well-being.
Take some time to reflect. Identify areas in your life where oversharing might be disrupting your peace.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. Change takes time, but with each step you take towards protecting your peace, you’re nurturing a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.
