There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.
Psychology tells us that maintaining a certain level of mystery can actually heighten people’s respect for you. It’s not about being secretive, but rather understanding what to reveal and what to keep to yourself.
So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret – there are 7 things you should definitely keep under wraps if you want people to respect you.
Interested? Keep reading, and all will be revealed.
1) Personal grievances
Psychology tells us that people generally respect those who are able to handle their personal issues with maturity and discretion.
We all have our ups and downs, our struggles and triumphs, but constantly airing your grievances can paint you as a complainer. People respect individuals who can manage their difficulties privately, showing resilience and strength.
That’s not to say you should bottle up your feelings. It’s perfectly okay to share your troubles with close friends or family. But consistently venting about your problems to everyone can lead to people seeing you as negative or draining.
The key is balance. Yes, be authentic, be real. But remember, everyone has their own battles, and repeatedly burdening others with yours can diminish their respect for you.
2) Financial details
Let me share a little story. A while back, I got a promotion at my job. I was thrilled and immediately wanted to share the news with my friends. But instead of just sharing about the promotion, I also revealed my new salary.
I thought it would be okay, we were all close friends after all. But over the next few weeks, I noticed a change. Some friends started treating me differently, others seemed uncomfortable around me.
I realized that sharing my financial details had altered the dynamics of our friendships. It was a lesson learned the hard way.
Money is a sensitive topic and discussing it can lead to feelings of discomfort, envy or awkwardness. It’s better to keep your financial status to yourself to maintain respect and harmony in your relationships.
3) Your romantic exploits
People who disclose their romantic exploits are often viewed as less trustworthy and likeable. This can be especially true when these tales are told in a boastful or disrespectful manner.
Your romantic life is personal, and sharing explicit details can lead to others feeling uncomfortable or disrespected. It can also inadvertently create a reputation that you may not want.
Respecting the privacy of your romantic relationships not only shows respect for your partner but also earns you respect from those around you.
4) Negative opinions about others
We’ve all been in situations where we’ve had a negative opinion about someone. It could be a co-worker, a friend, or even a family member. It’s normal and human to have these feelings.
However, voicing these negative opinions can lead to a loss of respect. It can make you seem petty, judgmental, or just plain mean. And remember, what you say about others says more about you than it does about them.
Instead of sharing your negative thoughts, try focusing on the positive aspects of the person in question. Or better yet, if you have an issue with someone, address it with them directly and constructively. This shows maturity and earns respect.
5) Your deepest fears
I remember when I was younger, I had this crippling fear of dogs. It was so intense that I would cross the street just to avoid one. For a long time, I shared this fear with anyone who would listen, thinking it would help me cope.
But over time, I noticed that people started treating me differently. They would be overly cautious around me, avoid talking about dogs, or even leave their pets at home when I visited.
It made me realize that sharing my deepest fear had unintentionally put a burden on others. It made them feel like they had to walk on eggshells around me.
While it’s important to share your feelings and fears with trusted friends or family, constantly discussing your deepest fears can make others uncomfortable and can inadvertently affect the way they perceive you.
Keeping your deepest fears to yourself or sharing them only with those you trust the most can help maintain balance in your relationships and keep the respect of those around you.
6) Past mistakes
We all have skeletons in our closet. Past mistakes that we’re not proud of or times when we didn’t make the best decision. These are a part of life and help us grow and learn.
However, constantly bringing up these past mistakes can make you seem stuck in the past and unable to move forward. It can also give the impression that you’re seeking sympathy or attention.
Instead, focus on the lessons learned from these mistakes and how they’ve helped shape you into the person you are today. This reflects growth, maturity, and resilience – qualities that are highly respected.
7) Unsolicited advice
One of the quickest ways to lose respect is to give unsolicited advice. It can come across as patronizing, presumptuous or even rude. People generally seek advice when they need it, and offering it without being asked can make you seem overbearing or know-it-all.
Respect other people’s ability to make their own decisions and solve their own problems. If they want your advice, they’ll ask for it. And when they do, that’s your chance to be supportive and helpful without crossing any lines.
